Features of raising boys

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

- Do everything so that the son has a full-fledged father. If a woman doesn’t succeed in living together with a man, but he is not burdened with serious moral vices and bad habits, fully promote intensive contacts between her son and his father and his relatives.

- To protect the authority of the surrounding men, not to undermine it for nothing with dismissive remarks and rude shouts, especially for minor reasons.

- In every possible way to encourage communication with true men of honor, who truly respect themselves.

- To talk to your son in an adult way, respectfully, proceeding from the understanding that in front of you is a full-fledged person who has only lived a little.

- Do not dismiss the questions in annoyance, take them seriously and answer them as thoroughly as possible. Proceeding from the fact that boys do not have naive or premature questions, there are incompetent, unintelligible, arrogant answers.

- Listen to your son carefully, but also not encourage excessive talkativeness.

- Do not lisp. Do not overprotect your son.

- Every year, entrust as many self-service operations as possible, and then for the benefit of the family.

- Do not suppress a business initiative, even if it threatens some damage (for example, a broken cup).

- Do not drive the boy away from men who are engaged in some business (father, grandfather, older brother, etc.), on the contrary, if possible, involve him in simple operations in the household and in working with equipment.

- Maintain a balance between praise and criticism.

- Do not groan at the sight of your son (grandson) scratches, abrasions, bruises and other minor injuries, do not scold for them, but calmly treat the wound, saying something like "he will heal before the wedding."

- From the age of 4–5, wean people to rush to the seats in public transport, on the contrary, give up seats to women and elderly passengers, including mothers.

- Even at preschool age, begin to introduce your son to the course of your affairs and problems, causing sympathy and empathy. Whether a guy will grow up to be a good father can be judged by what kind of son he is.

- Every day from infancy - physical exercises with gradual complication, first in the apartment, then, if possible, on the street. Exempt from physical education lessons at school only when there is a clear threat to health. Before school, teach how to swim, ski, ride a two-wheeled bike, play volleyball or another ball game.

- Fully encourage truthfulness: in the case of an honest confession of a committed offense, the punishment should be reduced to a minimum or to zero, accustoming to the thought: honesty is more beneficial than deception.

- From an early age to cultivate efficiency, life on schedule; violation of the regime - for valid reasons. Learn to count the time with a small margin in order to leave the house on time (a real man arrives at the right place right on time and is not late).

- To teach to the rule: do not give a word, hold on, but if you give, hold on. A personal example is especially important here: all the promises given to the son must be strictly fulfilled.

- Do not make fun of, do not insult, do not humiliate your son; never use epithets and remarks like "idiot", "stupid", "boob", "bastard", "puppy", "stupid yet", "milk on the lips has not dried", etc. They have the ability to sink into the memory of a lifetime.

- At the same time, instill tolerance for people, their behavior, opinions, especially for mistakes, mistakes and shortcomings. With restraint, but firmly, stop mocking, arrogant, arrogant manifestation of attitude towards people. Condescension is a very masculine quality.

- From 6-7 years old, include in discussions of general family issues (arrangement of furniture in the apartment, the order of major purchases, the organization of summer vacations, etc.).

- Start to identify business and creative inclinations as early as possible, but do not force your choice of occupation; do not be afraid of switching from one occupation to another: many do not immediately find their calling.

- To buy a lot of various tools, the simplest mechanisms, devices, parts and materials for repair work and crafts, to master all these tools and devices together with your son.

- To show an example of the ability to manage oneself: I do what I don’t want to do, but I must; I don’t do what I want, but it’s harmful.

- Do not reproach for petty reasons with the roof of your house, maintenance, food, clothing, etc. Such a conversation can take place only in exceptional cases, and should be started in a serious tone without undue emotion.

- To promote active communication between the son and his peers who have proven themselves on the positive side and have not compromised themselves with anything serious. Welcome visits from his friends to the house.

- Encourage hiking, trips to sports and health camps, leave at home only with obvious signs of illness.

- To welcome any opportunity to earn honestly, as long as it does not harm your studies.

- Begin to teach how to take care of women from a young age (for mom, sister, etc.), for example, serve slippers, choose gifts for women with your son, encourage the making of gifts with your own hands, etc.

- Not to obstruct, not to dissuade the son in his desire to help someone, to give something, to help someone out, to pay attention to a person in general, even if it requires something to sacrifice, to sacrifice his own. To help a person in difficult times, to lend a shoulder is one of the main masculine qualities.

Of course, this list of recommendations does not exhaust the program of turning a male baby into a real man. Even strict adherence to them will not guarantee that a true man will eventually grow up: a child is made a person not only by the actions of the parents, but also by a host of other factors.

It is appropriate to put the question this way: have I done everything possible to make my son a masculine character?

Personal example, own position of older men means a lot. The readiness to show real masculine qualities is also inherent in modern guys. You just need to think about them, push them to noble actions.

It is very important to understand that when a boy is in a family, a man is brought up. Therefore, if a mother is building a relationship with her son, then you need to understand that she is building a relationship with a man. What does “I am building a relationship with a man” mean, despite the fact that he is 7 years old? And everything is the same. I just tell him: “Help me! I'm just weak, and I'm tired, and you are a man, you are strong. I need your help! . If the mother takes a certain tough position: “I said - do it!”, This means that she destroys his masculine Ego, puts the feminine above the masculine. There simply arises as a rag-person who is not able to take responsibility for anyone. This is the principle.

That being said, there are things to avoid.

- All "real men" are different, the only fake men are the ones who pretend to be "real." Help the boy choose the version of the complex of masculine properties that is closer to him and in which he will be more successful.

- It is not necessary to focus on the education of a warrior and defender of the fatherland. The historical destinies of the modern world, of which Russia is a part, are decided not on the battlefields, but in the sphere of scientific, technical and cultural achievements. If your boy grows up as a worthy person and citizen who knows how to defend his rights and fulfill the responsibilities associated with them, he will cope with the defense of the fatherland. If he gets used to seeing enemies around and deciding everything from a position of strength, nothing, we cover up troubles, he will not shine in life.

“Don't teach him to be different from women. First, he is different from them anyway. Secondly, peers will teach him not to be a girl, even against your will. Why would you sing in this loud but voiceless choir? Parents are unique and must be soloists.

- Do not try to shape your son in your own image and likeness, it is much more important to help the boy become himself.

- Do not force the boy to realize your unfulfilled dreams and illusions. You do not know what devils are guarding the path from which you once turned, and whether it exists at all. The only thing in your power is to help the boy choose the best development option for him, but the right to choose belongs to him.

- Do not try to pretend to be a strict father or an affectionate mother if these traits are not peculiar to you. First, it is impossible to deceive a child. Secondly, he is influenced not by the abstract "sex-role model", but by the individual characteristics of the parent, his moral example and how he treats his son.

- Do not believe psychologists who say that defective boys grow up in single-parent families. "Single-parent families" are not those in which there is no father or mother, but those where parental love is lacking. The mother's family has its own additional problems and difficulties, but it is better than a family with an alcoholic father or where the parents live like a cat and a dog.

- Do not try to replace your son with the peer society, avoid confrontation with the boyish environment, even if you do not like it. The only thing you can do is mitigate the inevitable trauma and hardships associated with it. A confidential atmosphere in the family helps the best against "bad comrades". And a one hundred percent guarantee against all troubles, if you believe the old advertisement, is given only by an insurance policy.

- Do not overuse prohibitions and, if possible, avoid confrontation with the boy. If strength is on your side, then it's time. Short-term gains can easily turn into long-term defeat.

- Do not use corporal punishment. The one who hits the child is not showing strength, but weakness. The seeming pedagogical effect is completely overshadowed by long-term alienation and hostility.

- Do not try to impose a certain occupation and profession on your son. By the time he makes his choice, your preferences may be morally and socially out of date. The only way is to enrich the interests of the child from early childhood, so that he would have the widest possible choice of options and opportunities.