How mistakes in notebooks affect the divorce rate

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

I highlighted with green paste those letters and hooks that worked well for her. She loved it very much and always after each line she asked: "Mom, which one turned out the best?" And I was so happy when I circled the best letter with the words: "Perfect!"

What is the difference between the approaches? Got it already?

1. In the first case, we focus on mistakes. What is stored in your photo memory? That's right, those letters that are written clumsily, what is wrong. Have you seen perfectly written letters behind those red underlines? Not! Whether we like it or not, subconsciously we remember what is highlighted.

2. In the second case, we focus on what was done right! We get completely different emotions, a different perception. Whether we like it or not, subconsciously we strive to repeat what was ideal! This is a completely different intrinsic motivation - not the desire to avoid mistakes, but the desire to do well!

Now attention, the answer to the question: how do the highlighted errors in the notebook affect the divorce rate?

The answer is obvious to me. From childhood, we get used to focusing on shortcomings, on what is wrong, on what we think is bad. We were taught to do this at school with the help of red paste, we were taught to do this at home, when we more often made comments for what we did wrong than praised for what we did well.

Of the 20 hooks written in a row, only one was underlined. Those. 19 were written well and 1 was imperfect. Why are we focused on this one ???

The same thing often happens in the life of a spouse. A spouse may have 19 excellent qualities, but a fight will happen over the one that you have highlighted in red for yourself.

This habit (highlighting the bad in red), which we have been honing since childhood and which cannot be eradicated from our consciousness in adulthood, is becoming the most common cause of divorce in the family!

What is the focus, then it grows. What attention is directed to, then it increases.

I've already talked to so many couples about relationships that I've lost count. And 99% of couples (even those that seem perfect) have the same problem - red paste on the character of their spouse!

If I were the Minister of Education, I would change a lot in the school system. Everything begins from childhood, from childhood we drag all our habits and skills into adulthood, and not all of them serve us well.

Introducing the principle of “green pasta” with my daughter, I saw that even if I do not point out mistakes to her, they gradually go away by themselves, because she strives to do it perfectly herself, of her own free will!

For now, I suggest you do four things:

1. Analyze your spouse's character notebook and think about what kind of paste you use…. And for those who value relationships especially, I suggest doing it in writing and practicing the technique for a week. It will be very interesting to know your results! Share in the comments, please.

2. If you work with your child at home, use green paste and focus his attention on what is good!

3. Tell your friends about this article if you liked it, so that pleasant changes and rethinking will also occur in their lives!

I wish you all harmony! Appreciate your spouses, love them, and throw red paste out of your life!