Is there life after the sect? Shocking stories of former cultists

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

They believe in past lives, control time, prepare for Armageddon and dream of becoming shahids. In Russia there are from five hundred to 2-3 thousand sects and tens of thousands of sectarians. The definition of a sect is not spelled out in the legislation in any way, and the deputies have been thinking about the corresponding bill for several years. Former sectarians and their relatives told "Snob" if there is life after the sect.

Computer games saved me from the sect

Jehovah's Witnesses is an international religious organization with 8.3 million followers around the world. In 2017, it was recognized as extremist and banned in Russia.

Nikita, 19 years old:

I have been in the sect since infancy. My mother became a witness two years before my birth. The sectarians then went from house to house. First, my aunt bought into the good news, and soon my mother and grandmother joined in. There was no one to get them out of the sect: their father was in prison, and when he returned, he was only begging for money. He worked, but he was losing more money than he brought home. We lived on pensions and benefits: both of my parents are disabled.

I was tall, plump, kind, I wanted to be friends with everyone. My less peaceful peers immediately began to bully me because of my fatness, but I did not answer, did not insult them and, God forbid, I never beat them. Witnesses must not fight or insult others. When my classmates realized this, they began to beat me. I remember that I came home all crumpled and bruised, and my mother said that this was Jehovah's test and I did the right thing not to give back. My mother publicly scolded my offenders a couple of times, which only made my situation worse. This was the first impetus to leave the sect: I did as God wants, and instead of blessings I saw only pain and hatred and did not understand why I was doing it.

From the very childhood I was brought up as a witness, they prophesied spiritual growth. Witnesses are isolated from the outside world in every possible way. All attempts to return a person to society are presented as devilish. The sect prohibits blood transfusions, unconventional sex, smoking and other bad habits. The rest of the prohibitions are presented as recommendations: not to communicate with those outside the organization, not to marry an unbaptized person. Do you want to work 8 hours for a normal salary? So you are not spiritual! Do you want to get higher education? What for? Soon, after all, Armageddon, we must serve until the end comes! The witnesses think, “In this world, all alcoholics, drug addicts and drunkards. These worldly fools, not accepting the truth, will die in Armageddon."

When I was finishing first grade, a computer club opened near the school. There I became acquainted with games and became addicted to them. I persuaded my mother to buy a computer, promising her to play "good" games, without blood and violence. Soon, I was playing anything from GTA to The Sims. It was the only way to let off steam, relax and forget about reality. So I became a typical nerd, but it saved me from becoming a typical witness: the passion for games knocked my interest in learning out of me. But what had been hammered in for years, no one knocked out of me at that time. I still believed that the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses were true. At the age of 12, when I got the Internet, I went to the site of “apostates,” former witnesses, to tell them how wrong they are. But I began to read what they describe and found that they were right in many ways. For example, by order of the Governing Body, witnesses can lie, break the law. But what if one day the leadership decides to administer the judgment of God with their own hands?

At the age of 16, I told my mother that I would no longer go to meetings. Mom yelled at me for two hours, and then she went to the most extreme measure, which she had already used a couple of times: she brought a kitchen knife to her throat and said that she would commit suicide if I didn’t go to the meeting, because she didn’t want to live in the New World if I don't get saved. Previously, this threat worked, but I still insisted on my own.

Mom limited communication with me as much as possible: she was only interested in my studies and health, other topics were closed. A year later, she softened and slowly began to call me back: "Look how many signs of the last days, the end is soon!" But it was too late.

The hardest thing was to find yourself in a new, previously closed world. I decided that the best way to learn to communicate was to put myself in a situation where there would be no other choice, and went into the army. I did not know how to communicate with people, especially with men who are used to solving problems by force. He could not swear, and this was part of the army life. They did not understand my speech and believed that I was being clever. The first week in the army, they just checked me for lice, as happens with all suckers: they insulted me to see my reaction, forced me to the toilet and forced me to clean the toilet bowl or do some work for others, and if I resisted, they beat me. And how else to make a man out of a woman? Now I am grateful to the guys for this, although it was hard then.

Once I accidentally got into a conversation with one of the adequate colleagues and told him who I was, where I came from and how it happened that I was not like everyone else. He passed this on to the others, and they began to teach me about life, but without fists: they explained that they mocked me not out of malice, but because they weed out unreliable and whiny guys this way. Then, every time I, in their opinion, did something wrong, they gave me a friendly slap in the face. Then the authorities assigned me to a “better” place, and there everything started from the beginning. At some point, I was on the brink and thought about suicide: I decided to get drunk on bleach. We were given whole jars of chlorine tablets for cleaning (after my attempt, they began to give out the tablets individually). Fortunately, the sergeant burned me. Swearing, he thrust two fingers into my mouth, trying to induce vomiting, and then dragged me to the authorities. As a result, I was sent to a psychologist, then to a psychiatrist, the first confirmed the existence of problems, the second - that everything is sad, but fit for service. I am glad that I was not written off for a fool then. Thanks to the doctors, foremen and colleagues, now I have become the same as all normal people. There is still something to work on and something to change, but I intend to fight to the end.

In June I was demobilized and now I have recovered at the technical school. I'm studying to be a foodservice technologist. I continue to live with my mother, our communication is strained. She is still trying to get me back into the sect, but is acting cautiously, hoping that "the clear signs of the last days will themselves return me to the fold of the organization." I still play computer games, but less often: there is no time. I am constantly looking for something to do with myself: for example, now I go to the “School for Young Politicians”, which was organized in our city.

I called my parents infidels and dreamed of becoming a suicide bomber

Aigerim, 24 years old:

I am a Kazakh, Muslim, I have never been religious, but as a teenager I became interested in Islam. When I was 15 years old, I wanted to learn how to read namaz, but did not know where to start. I met a guy who taught me everything, gave books and lectures by Said Buryatsky and introduced me to other girls. We talked on the phone, talked on the Internet, and got together in rented apartments a couple of times a week. I told my parents that I was going to see a friend. We read namaz, talked about jihad, sometimes called sisters from other countries. In the evening I returned home, because my parents did not allow me to spend the night with my friends.

Said Buryatsky was not only a teacher, an example of a righteous man, but also the dream of any of ours. We dreamed of marrying someone like him. Once the girls from our sect almost got me married in Afghanistan. One of our brothers in faith went there, I personally did not know him. They wanted to give for him. Apparently, God really exists, because I stayed at home and was saved.

I studied lectures and books and had to spread this knowledge among others. Sometimes we were visited by women and men, accomplished sectarians, who had already traveled to the “Caucasus Emirate” and taught us how to make bombs and improvised explosives, disassemble and assemble machine guns. The girls knew weapons as well as the guys. For us, blowing ourselves up was the way to heaven, we thought that we were doing a good deed, destroying infidels. Some even went to the "Caucasus Emirate" to study with other "righteous". I also dreamed of going there, I even saved money. Was obsessed with this idea.

I didn't think it was a sect, although my Muslim friends tried to convince me otherwise. I thought that since the whole world was against me, then I was right. My relationship with my parents soured, I called them infidels. I became kind of cruel, heartless, and before the sect I was very curious and funny. Nothing bothered me, I stopped listening to music, radio, watching TV, I only went to the Internet to chat with “friends”.

After a couple of years, I finally decided that I would go to the Caucasus, and even bought a ticket, but my parents caught me at the airport and forcibly took me home. Apparently, a friend told them. I was under house arrest for a month.

At the age of 19, I began to slowly realize that my friends, who all the time said that killing defenseless and innocent people is wrong, are right. Yes, and in the Quran there is no such order from Allah. Then I started to move away from my “friends” from this company, communication came to naught, I changed my phone number. There were no consequences for me, since I didn't go too far. If I were in a Muslim country, it would be almost impossible to get away from them.

Sometimes I had thoughts of returning, I thought that I had betrayed Allah, brothers, sisters and myself. I felt lost. Relatives and friends did not leave me, they supported me, for which I am very grateful to them. Six months after leaving the sect, I felt more free. The world began to seem kind and colorful again. I have no relationship with Islam now. I try not to communicate with anyone on the topic of religion. This is a very sore subject for me. I took courses with a psychologist. Friends and girlfriends know and do not touch on this topic. I was educated, I work as a pastry chef. Parents and friends are nearby. Life has improved.

I know that several people from our company were imprisoned. One girl got married and left with her family to Syria. Her husband was killed in a shootout, and she and her child, being in position, died when a bomb hit the house. Five guys who left for the "Caucasus Emirate" also died. Their bodies were not returned to their families. What happened to the others, I don't know.

Religion could not provide food for the mind, I wanted not only to believe, but also to understand the structure of the world

The Radasteya sect was founded by Evdokia Marchenko. According to Marchenko's teachings, a person is a “ray” enclosed in a “spacesuit” and can control time with the help of “rhythmology” using a special “joyous” language that suggests “re-radiation” (distorted, anagrammatic and abbreviated reading)

Galina, 59 years old:

I started studying at Radastey in 1998. Familiar with enthusiasm began to talk about Marchenko, her teaching and the ability to change her own life with the help of rhythmology. How we fell for this gibberish, I still don’t understand.

At the "Radastas" (a visiting program with lectures and meetings. - Ed.) They called us the best, beloved, dear ones and in every possible way emphasized our uniqueness, they were waiting for us. There was a holiday there, everything was very beautiful, and at home - everyday life, vanity, everyday life. We were happy to serve our "Main Ray" - Marchenko. Imagine, we are sitting in armchairs, beautiful music sounds, laser lights turn on, there are dancers on the stage. Then Evdokia Dmitrievna comes out …

She could talk for 4-5 hours without interruption about the universe, the past of the Earth, Atlantis, Hyperborea, about the structure of the human body, the development of the brain, and improving memory. We then thought that Marchenko was reading all this from the noosphere, that some channel of knowledge was open to her. Then there was no Internet and books on esotericism, so we got caught. In those years, Marchenko organized "Radastas" in schools, houses of culture, in the Ice Palace in St. Petersburg, in Moscow, Australia, USA, Germany, Italy. She was accepted as a member of the Writers' Union of Russia. Members of "Radasteya" were mayors, officials, deputies. Well, how not to believe all this?

The first doubts arose when I saw Marchenko's assistants, who, in due time, not only did not read the rhythms, but freely communicated with each other. I went to confession, sold books and bought a cross. She returned to "Radastea" after 5 years, having seen in the newspaper "Ritmologiya" that Marchenko had been awarded a medal by someone from the Writers' Union. Well, I think, am I, perhaps, smarter than all the writers of Russia who recognized it? Then Marchenko created the Irlem Institute. I cannot be smarter than the state - if the institution has already been created, it means that it is doing everything right. I started going to "Radasty" again. Nobody forced me to do this, I drove myself, read books. But there was very little time left for the family: it was necessary to constantly re-emit something - to spell the rhythms. Each letter corresponds to a quatrain, for example: letter B - Shine of a squirrel with whiteness, running ashore, and so on for all letters. I liked to feel self-sufficient, able to manage my life.

Money began to run out. I spent a hundred thousand on "Pleasure". Marchenko has published more than 400 books, it was desirable to have all of them, in addition, constantly some kind of programs, "Radasty", a newspaper. Books - from 300 rubles, programs - from 5000 rubles, "Radasty" - from 7000 rubles. I just stopped buying books, watching videos and going to Radasty. Nobody held me back. Only my acquaintances, the gladastans, regretted that I was again left with my "undisclosed" brain.

Not only do I not regret that I left, but I am very glad. I always had a doubt on the inside of what kind of teaching it was, not from the devil, I am Orthodox after all. But religion did not give me food for thought, there was only faith, and I wanted not only to believe, but also to understand the structure of the world, to learn how to manage my life, after all, I had a higher education … All this was promised in Radastea. We were told about the science, for the study of which the institute was created: you read the rhythm, and everything works out for you.

Endless re-radiation, mumbling of rhythms - all this I tried not to do to my relatives, they were very negative about it: the husband was silent, and the children grumbled that it was a sect. And then I found a group of victims of "Radasteya" and became even more convinced that Marchenko's teaching was from Satan. I am very sorry for people who have been doing this for more than 20 years. I know a dozen people who invest all their money there, malnourished, not dressing properly. There are women who really suffered because of the sect: they divorced their husbands, do not communicate with children, one generally threw herself out of the window. My acquaintances, women over 60 years old, read only Marchenko, go only to "Radasty". Once we all studied Reiki together, read the Roerichs, Blavatsky. Now they don't even remember about it. Marchenko stands above everyone, even God, because she is “Luch”.

I myself did not suffer much, only I lost money, well, my memory worsened a little, I began to forget the most ordinary words.

“My husband left me pregnant because I was against Scientology”

Scientology is an international movement founded by the American science fiction writer Ron Hubbard. Scientologists believe that man is an immortal spiritual being (thetan) who is stuck on Earth in a "flesh body." The thetan had many past lives and previously lived in extraterrestrial civilizations.

Alina, 41 years old:

My husband had been friends with a Scientologist for several years, but I did not know about it then. Apparently, he occasionally attended some Scientology business courses. The husband worked as a realtor, and in 2015, when the ruble collapsed and mortgage rates soared, he began to have difficulties with work. He passed the "Oxford Test," which Scientologists use in recruiting, and from that test they sorted out all of his problems.

Endless seminars and business meetings have begun in the "Club of Successful People" - Scientologists have many similar organizations, the names are constantly changing. I began to look for information about Scientology, learned that a number of their materials were included in the list of extremist. I learned about the doctrine that everyone who does not like Scientology is "suppressive" and they are to blame for all the troubles. I tried to convey this information to my husband, saying that Scientologists would order to break off relations with me, since I was against their cult. But my husband did not hear me. It was suggested to him that the problems in business began because of me, and after a few months he left me. I was then in the fifth month of the long-awaited pregnancy. You can imagine my condition! He left very hard, as if in a dope. I hoped that everything would work out with the business. I know he was going through a breakup and was following me on social media.

At that time we had known each other for 20 years, friends since childhood, lived together for a year. I thought I knew him … I could not even imagine such a thing in my worst dream. He did not write, and I - to him. Gave birth alone.

A year later, he returned without a penny of money. I just called one day and offered to meet. We talked for a month. If I brought up Scientology in conversation, he exploded. Then he said that he needed me and the child - that's all.

Forgiving her husband was hard. For another six months after returning to his family, he regularly went to the sect. Now he does not go, but he still considers himself a Scientologist. Fortunately, they have him in a bad way, because he lives with an "suppressive personality", and it is infinitely impossible to hide it. They don't talk to him as kindly as when filling out the "Oxford test", they constantly ask for money, write to him, call him, offer to transfer what is there, and the rest later. I don’t know how much money he spent there, but judging by the thick stack of certificates of completion of the courses, it’s a lot. By the way, now my husband's work has begun to slowly improve.

I'm not sure I will stay with him, because now he is a different person. Scientologists have transformed his personality. All the good that was in him is almost lost, and egoism is hypertrophied. Earlier, when I was upset and roared, he immediately softened and began to calm me down, but now I can even walk all day roaring with tears - he doesn't care.