The day I stopped rushing

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 16:23

When you live a crazy life, every minute counts. You constantly feel that you have to check the list and run somewhere. And no matter how you try to distribute your time and attention, and no matter how many different tasks you try to solve, you still do not have enough time to do everything.

This has been my life for two crazy years. My thoughts and actions were controlled by e-mails and a busy schedule. And although with all the fibers of my soul I wanted to find time for all things in my overloaded plan, I could not do it.

And six years ago a blessing came over me in the face of a calm, carefree, stop-and-smell-the-rose child.

• When I had to leave, she started looking for a shiny crown in my bag.
• When I needed to be about five minutes ago, she demanded to strap her toy animal to the car seat.
• When I needed a quick bite to eat in a cafe, she suddenly stopped talking to an elderly woman who looked like her grandmother.
• When I had thirty minutes to run somewhere, she asked me to stop the carriage to pet every dog we passed.
• When my day was fully scheduled, starting at 6 am, she asked me to break the eggs and very slowly and carefully began stirring them in the bowl.

This carefree child was a real gift for me who is always in a hurry. But then I did not understand it. When you live a crazy life, your vision of the world becomes narrow-minded - you only see what comes next on the agenda. And anything that couldn't be ticked off the schedule was a waste of time.

Whenever my child forced me to deviate from the schedule, I had an excuse: "We don't have time for this" … Consequently, the two words that I most often said to my little life lover were: "Come on, hurry."

I started my sentences with them.

Come on soon, we're late

And she ended sentences with them.

We’ll miss it all if you don’t hurry

I started my day with them.

Hurry up and eat your breakfast. Hurry up and get dressed

I ended my day with them.

Brush your teeth quickly. Get to bed quickly

And although the words "hurry up" and "hurry up" had little or no effect on my child's speed, I still said them. Even more often than the words "I love you."

True, it hurts my eyes, but the truth heals … and helps me become the kind of mother I want to be.

But one day everything changed. We took my eldest daughter from kindergarten, drove home and got out of the car. This did not happen as fast as my eldest would like, and she said to her little sister: "You are so slow!" And when she crossed her arms over her chest and sighed in frustration, I saw myself in her - and it was a heartbreaking sight.

I was constantly pushing, pushing and hurrying a young child who just wanted to enjoy life.

My eyes opened. And I suddenly saw clearly what harm my hasty existence is doing to both my children.

My voice trembled, I looked into the eyes of my baby and said: “I am so sorry that I made you hurry all the time. I like that you are in no hurry, and I want to be just like you."

Both daughters looked at me in surprise, and the younger's face beamed with approval and understanding.

“I promise to be more patient,” I said, and hugged my curly-haired baby, who was beaming with her mom’s unexpected promise.

It was pretty easy to get the word "hurry up" out of my vocabulary. It was much more difficult to be patient enough to wait for my leisurely child. To help both of us, I started giving her a little more time to get ready when we had to go somewhere. But sometimes, despite this, we were still late. Then, I persuaded myself that I would be late, only these few years, while she was still young.

When my daughter and I walked or went to the store, I let her set the pace. And when she stopped to admire something, I drove the thoughts of my plans from my head and just watched her. I noticed expressions on her face that I had never seen before. I studied the dimples in her arms and the way her eyes narrowed as she smiled. I've seen other people respond when she stops to talk to them. I watched her study interesting insects and beautiful flowers. She was a contemplator, and I realized that contemplators in our crazy world are rare and amazing gifts. My daughter was a gift for my restless soul.

I made a promise to slow down almost three years ago. And until now I have to make a lot of effort in order to live in slow motion, not to be distracted by the daily hustle and bustle and pay attention to what is really important. Fortunately, my youngest daughter constantly reminds me of this.

Once during our vacation, we rode our bicycles for ice cream. Having bought popsicles, my daughter sat down at a table by the tent, admiring the ice tower in her hand. Anxiety suddenly appeared on her face: "Should I hurry, Mom?"

I almost cried. Perhaps the scars of a past hasty life will never completely disappear, I thought sadly.

And while my child was looking at me, trying to understand whether she needed to hurry now, I realized that I now have a choice. I could sit and feel sad thinking about how many times in my life I have spurred her on … or I could celebrate the fact that today I am trying to do differently.

I decided to live for today

No need to hurry. Just take your time,”I said softly. Her face instantly brightened and her shoulders relaxed.

And so we sat side by side, chatting about what the ukulele-playing 6-year-olds were talking about. There were even moments when we sat in silence, just smiled at each other, admiring the surroundings and sounds around us.

I thought my child was going to eat every last drop, but when she got almost to the end, she handed me a spoonful of ice crystals and sweet juice. “I saved the last spoon for you, Mom,” my daughter said proudly.

I realized that I had just made a deal of a lifetime.

I gave my child a little time … and in return, she gave me her last spoon and reminded me that the taste becomes sweeter and love comes more often when you stop rushing through life like that.

And now, be it …

… eating fruit ice;

… Picking up flowers;

… Wearing a seat belt;

… breaking eggs;

… looking for seashells;

… examining ladybirds;

… or just a walk …

I will not say: "We do not have time for this!" Because, in essence, it means: "We have no time to Live".

To stop and enjoy the simple pleasures of everyday life is what it means to truly live.

Trust me, I learned this from the world's leading experts on the joy of life.