Education of chastity in a girl

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

The importance of nurturing chastity cannot be overemphasized

In the modern "civilized" world, amid a total rejection of traditions, the conversation about girlish chastity is perceived as archaism. However, advanced psychological and medical science reasonably casts doubt on the wisdom of disregarding the foundations in this matter, and also shows the sad consequences of the sexual liberation of adolescents.

Times change, but not the point

We have always attached great importance to female chastity. The loss of a girl's honor was considered a great sin, and shame fell on the whole family.

The sexual revolution, which came to us 30 years later than in Western countries, has noticeably changed the attitude of parents towards the education of chastity in their daughters. It is not uncommon for adults to calmly relate not only to the extramarital cohabitation of young couples (in cities this is quickly becoming the new norm), but also to the sexual relations of 14-15-year-olds. Someone admits with a sigh that they cannot influence their daughter (although she lives with her parents under the same roof and is completely dependent on them financially), and someone does not see anything wrong with that. Times have changed, they say, the main thing is that there is no unwanted pregnancy.

Such people perceive the reasoning about chastity as a hopeless archaic and obscurantism. But experiments in the field of upbringing are an extremely dangerous thing, since their result is not known in advance.

The results of the sexual revolution in the West testify to the complete failure of the experiment in this area. In the late 1950s, about ten years before the start of this revolution, the brilliant American sociologist of Russian origin Pitirim Sorokin warned of the dire consequences of “obsession with sex” (although only the first bells were still ringing then, the most important thing was ahead). “A society obsessed with sex,” wrote P. Sorokin, “violates divine and human laws without hesitation, smashes all values to smithereens. Like a tornado, it leaves in its path a legion of corpses, many twisted lives, innumerable suffering and debris of broken norms. Now this is no longer a forecast, but a fait accompli.

Another thing is also interesting. Medical data irrefutably testify that the preservation of chastity by girls is the most reliable guarantee of women's health. That is, moral and ethical principles rooted in centuries are not accidental even in a purely applied, utilitarian sense. They have stood the test of time and proven to be effective. Let us give the floor to the author of the book "What do you teach my child?", The famous American psychiatrist and psychologist Miriam Grossman.

“It is already a scientific fact,” writes Grossman, “that the presence of human papillomavirus is a prerequisite for the development of cervical cancer. Why are girls and young women especially susceptible to HPV (human papillomavirus)? All because of the cervix, it is still underdeveloped … The formed cervix … is covered with numerous layers of cells, so it is difficult to get infected. But the underdeveloped cervix, the cervix of a teenager or young girl, is only one cell thick. This surface, covered with a layer of only one cell, is called the "transformation zone". With age, it shrinks, shrinks. But until that happens, for HPV, chlamydia and STIs (sexually transmitted infections), this is the perfect place to attack … This is why so many girls are infected with HPV, as well as other STIs. With age … this area becomes smaller, and after childbirth, it completely disappears …"

Dr. Grossman also writes that modern research methods, which allow real-time observation of brain activity, have greatly changed the idea of higher nervous activity in adolescence. It was believed that the brain matures early enough, and in adolescence it is already like a mature person. But it turned out that this is not the case. If a similar picture of the brain's work is observed in an adult, then they speak of serious mental disorders. And for adolescents, this is the age norm.

What is the essence of the question?

The fact is that in a state of anxiety, excitement, excitement, etc. (and falling in love and passion introduce them precisely into such states), due to the immaturity of certain parts of the brain, a teenager cannot make a mature, balanced, conscious decision. Therefore, the argumentation of the supporters of sex education: they say, you just need to teach adolescents in the techniques of "safe sex", and everything will be in the openwork, - does not stand up to criticism. As a rule, hopes for this do not come true. At the crucial moment, most adolescents are likely to forget about protection. That's how their brains work! And no preventive programs can cope with this.

The increased psychological vulnerability of adolescent children is also associated with the same features of the functioning of higher nervous activity. Having become infected, they experience it much more acutely than adults (although for adults such news is a great trauma). And - again because of their mental and psychological characteristics - they are much more likely to commit rash, sometimes irreparable acts. In any case, the experience of Miriam Grossman, to which students and high school students go to consult a continuous stream, suggests that there is a very definite connection between the increase in the number of teenage suicides and the increase in sexual promiscuity.

Why is swagger a way into a trap?

Chastity is inseparable from humility. It is difficult to imagine an arrogant, impudent and at the same time chaste girl. Of course, this does not mean that girls have to be quiet. People have different personalities. Some, like Pushkin's Tatyana, are prone to solitude and melancholy, others, like her sister Olga, are cheerful reticents. In the pre-revolutionary peasantry, which constituted the overwhelming majority of the population of Russia, languid, "muslin" young ladies were not in honor. The guys liked the lively, funny girls, good dancers and singers much more. They were the first to be recruited into a round dance, invited to a square dance, etc. But in any case, no matter how lively the girl may have, she did not cross certain boundaries so as not to lose her girlish honor. And thus aroused respect among the guys. They understood that the girl would not let them go too far.

When now girls, imitating the heroines of modern mass culture, do not behave modestly, but, on the contrary, cheekily, rudely, assertively, offer themselves (or even impose themselves!) On boys, write love notes to them, inviting them on a date, spread their invitations and often do not very decent photos for everyone to see on the Internet, divide the guys among themselves, they do not know that they are falling into a trap. On the contrary, they consider themselves to be the masters of the situation, since guys (especially those who are older) respond with pleasure to flirting, and it seems to girls that the whole world lies at their feet.

But it quickly turns out that the attitude of the guys towards them is consumerist, and often rudely cynical. It cannot be otherwise, because the centuries-old installations, passed down from generation to generation, are too strong. And even when at the level of consciousness a person adheres to different views, the so-called collective unconscious (or ancestral, genetic memory) tells him the truth. And the truth, in this case, is that decent girls do not behave like that. This means that the attitude towards them arises as to dishonest ones. With all that it implies.

But girls, no matter how they set themselves up, by their very nature are aimed at emotional attachment to the person with whom they will have a love affinity. This is again a medical fact, which, however, many parents do not even suspect. Let us again give the floor to M. Grossman.

“Over the past twenty years,” she writes, “we have learned (and this is scientific evidence) that the hormones that are released during intimate behavior induce feelings of attachment and trust. Especially in women, as oxytocin is primarily a female hormone. I call this hormone … “politically incorrect” because it challenges the claims that differences between men and women are based on cultural background and socialization. It challenges the idea that sexual behavior is easy to separate from emotional attachment … A hormone, explains M. Grossman further, is a molecule that “travels” from one organ to another and conveys a message. Depending on the context, oxytocin carries different messages throughout the body. During childbirth, it travels from the brain to the uterus and instructs it to contract and push the baby out. During breastfeeding, oxytocin tells the breast cells to order the brain to produce milk. But oxytocin also travels within the brain with messages about emotions and behavior. If you take a virgin rat and inject it with oxytocin, and then put it in a cage with droppings from another rat, that virgin rat, under the influence of oxytocin, will act like the cubs are her own. In this way, oxytocin conveys the message of "create bond, create emotional attachment" …"

Oxytocin is produced during lovemaking, kissing, etc. not only in women, but also in men, estrogen (female hormone) enhances its effect, and testosterone (male hormone) reduces. Therefore, a girl in the face of a change of partners will be in a more vulnerable position. No matter how much she inspires herself that “bed is not a reason for getting to know each other” (quote from an anecdote), her psyche will resist it. Once again, let's give the floor to Miriam Grossman:

“In addition to emotional attachment, oxytocin affects our judgment and risk assessment. It affects the areas of the brain associated with feelings of trust. Basically, when young people are sexually active, oxytocin acts on the girl's brain to wave a red flag. Suppose it's just casual intercourse, a one-night stand with someone she doesn't really know. Normally, the brain would sound an alarm: “Think about it! Is it good? Is it safe? How will you feel tomorrow morning? Is this a smart thing to do? " But instead of this part of the brain, instead of the amygdala, oxytocin acts, which to some extent silences this voice. And the girl is less careful, less suspicious …"

Our ancestors did not know anything about oxytocin, but, as it turned out, they were wiser than us when they tried with all their might to protect their daughters from extramarital affairs. Thus, they not only saved them from bad illnesses, but also protected them from severe mental trauma.

A few important tips

Taking care of the future personal happiness of daughters, it is important to develop in them feminine gentleness, compliance, the ability to seek and find compromises. Diligence, neatness, the ability to create home comfort are also very important for girls. Gentleness goes hand in hand with meekness, patience, and humility. With those qualities that especially resent feminists, because for them it is associated with weak will and the eternally oppressed position of women. But if a person has an inner core, he, with all his meekness, will not succumb to bad influences and will show intransigence to evil.

Remember that the dolls girls play carry a very important educational burden. The child reads information from them without words, at the level of the image, and begins to imitate involuntarily. A Barbie doll is a fashionable, well-groomed "diva" for whom children are, at best, just an addition to a glamorous interior, and often an annoying hindrance. They are good in photographs, but in life they are too much of a hassle. Bratz dolls are daring girls with a passion for fashion, who think first, second and tenth about outfits, parties and, again, a glamorous lifestyle, expensive and, of course, at someone else's expense. What comes out of this in reality, I hope, is clear.

Try to make the girl look pretty, but don't dwell on her outfits. And even more so, do not encourage interest in cosmetics. Now cosmetics are being promoted not only for adolescents, but also for five-year-old babies. For girls, cosmetics is an important step towards growing up. This is especially dangerous now, when many adolescents associate growing up with sexual freedom.

Pay close attention to the romantic upbringing of girls, but do not inflame sensuality. Many teenage series and books do just that. But, fortunately, there is other literature and other films, and much more talented (which means that they have a stronger, deeper, often cathartic effect on young souls). In these works, female chastity, fidelity, pure, sublime love are praised. Timely read "Jane Eyre" by Sh. Bronte, "Scarlet Sails" by Alexander Green, romantic stories by Turgenev and other similar works will give the teenage girl the right guidelines. Especially if the mother is not too lazy to discuss what she has read and connects it with real, modern life, backing up the words with specific examples.

Try to influence your daughter's social circle. In adolescence, this, of course, is more difficult than at five or six years old, but all the same, the opinion (and in some cases a ban!) Of the parents is of great importance. “If you want to preserve your daughter’s honor, look who she’s friends with” - something like this sounds like an Arab proverb that I once happened to hear.

And most importantly, do not forget that more than anyone else in the world girls (as, indeed, boys, but now we are not talking about them) need mom and dad. In the already mentioned book "What do you teach my child?" M. Grossman writes:

“Rest assured, your influence on your daughter - at the age of twelve, at fourteen, and at the age of sixteen - is much greater than you might think … Education is what she needs. She needs parental warmth, support and guidance. You are required to have clear rules and high expectations … Build contact with your child. She needs a close, trusting relationship with you … Share your accumulated experience with your daughter, instill in her your moral values … This will certainly affect her behavior. Yes, she might argue with you, but research shows that teens in families with high parental expectations are slow to engage in early sex. If you treat such relationships unequivocally negatively, it will be a serious factor influencing your daughter …"

It is very important for parents who wish their daughters happiness to remember this and not succumb to crafty talk that the world has irreversibly changed.