Raising 100% Americans

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

American education and upbringing through the eyes of a Russian teacher. What amazes me in America? The fact that in comparison with Russia here "everything is the other way around." It is the opinion of one person.

… A child was born in the family. Dad was present at the birth, helped, participated. "We gave birth." The child immediately comes to his own room, prepared in advance for him, so that his presence does not interfere with his parents' habitual (if possible) lifestyle. It is better not to give a pacifier. Instead, he must teach him to suck his fingers, if he doesn’t already know how. Why fingers? What do you mean why? To be independent from adults, suddenly the nipple will fall out, and there is no one to give it.

Independence comes first. It starts from birth. It will be sacredly nurtured all life and carefully guarded until death. Now let the child learn to calm himself down. In my school 6-7 year olds suck fingers. As soon as they are daydreaming or upset, they immediately put their thumb in their mouth.

A teddy bear or some other soft toy is placed in the crib for the child. The child will sleep with her sometimes until … adulthood. A friend of my eldest son did not forget to grab his badly worn bear when he came to us with an overnight stay, until at least 13 years old. Often this role is played by a baby blanket or diaper: at my school, a seven-year-old girl does not part with her baby diaper. Adults say that this calms the child, instills confidence in him, so he is not very lonely in this world.

… There is a lot of talk here about sudden infant death syndrome, it is also called lullaby death. The child dies of suffocation. This happens for no apparent reason at the age of up to a year, during sleep and, most importantly, in the crib. It never happens on hand. If you are near and if the child's breathing fails, you take it in your arms, breathing is restored and nothing happens.

Various solutions to this problem are proposed, a lot is being discussed about the position in which it is better to lay the baby, on the tummy, on the back or on the side. In this case, the child is left overnight in another room. It is impossible to take him to his parents, because they need to have sex, and with a child, even a newborn, this is completely unacceptable according to local concepts.

American Puritanism in its modern form, combined with early initiation (from 12 to 13 years old) into sex, practiced as a sport, is something very special and interesting in itself. Let's get back to raising children for now.

The child grows up, he is flooded with toys in quantities unprecedented by Russian concepts. How many gifts does Santa Claus bring for the New Year? Here at Christmas Santa will bring the little American 5 or 6 pieces, the same amount will be from mom and dad, there are also relatives, grandparents. Judging by the amount of money purchased, American parents are probably the most loving in the world.

It is interesting to watch children tearing beautiful wrappers from gifts under the tree and throwing them aside with displeasure. So many expectations and so many disappointments! It is very difficult to please. Therefore, a list is made in advance of everything that the left leg wants at the moment.

The same list was compiled by the parents of the baby when they got married. They went to the shops and entered into the computer everything that they would like to receive as a gift for the wedding, then the invitees were given a list of stores, and they could choose a gift there, pre-selected by the newlyweds. If stubborn guests are self-willed, then their uninvited gifts are often simply given back to the store. After Christmas, such returns are also very common.

Typically, each “school district” has several primary schools, one “middle” and one “high” school. Most often they are all scattered throughout the area. Education begins with the full five years. Grade zero is called “kindergarten,” followed by four or, in some areas, five. The next stage is grades 6 - 8. This school is called "secondary", it will be located in a different building. From the 9th to the 12th grade - "high school", the building is again different.

In the school, which my eldest son graduated from, from the 9th to the 12th grade, 1,500 people studied. There were 300 people in his class. It's not that they all attended any lesson, they just don't have a class at all: starting from high school, they go to each lesson in a different composition. Actually, they start to shuffle them in kindergarten.

Every year everyone is re-mixed and given a new teacher. Teachers tend to teach only at one level, for example, only in the first grade or in the second grade, and so on. There are exceptions, but rarely. When I asked the director of the school where my eldest son was studying at that time, why they were being reshuffled, I was told that this was done so that the children knew as many children as possible and did not become attached to someone in particular. “It's okay that they ended up with a friend in different classes this year. Your son will have many new friends! This is even better!"

Attachment here is rather a negative concept, close to dependence. And to be independent, to be always by yourself and FOR YOURSELF is the most important thing. But aggressiveness is positive, it means strength, assertiveness, the ability to achieve OWN - these are the qualities of a leader. Why change teachers? And this is so that if you get a bad teacher, then next year he will be gone. And in one class only they teach, because it is easier to do. Narrow specialization. Imagine a math teacher who knows mostly only 6th grade algebra.

Under a system where children go to each lesson in a different composition, and change is only 3 minutes, most often deep friendly relations are not formed, although there are again exceptions.

Friendship itself in the States is a completely different concept than ours. “Here, Mom, this is my friend,” says the child after he met someone on the set and played with him for half an hour. He may never meet his "friend" again or even remember him. Almost everyone with whom they are familiar is designated by the word "friend". “Friends” meet to do something together.

For example, play basketball or on the computer, go to the store. If the weather is bad, there is nowhere to go, there are no new computer games, then there is no need to meet. To my question to my eldest son, who had half of the seventh-graders as “friends”, why he is sitting at home today, on Saturday, and whether he should call him Jordan or Steve and call them to us, I could hear something like “yes it's raining outside and you can't play basketball "or" we have already beaten all the games that we have, and now we have nothing to do. " In short, they just don't meet for communication, they meet for a specific, specific occupation. The situation will change somewhat when sex becomes one of these activities.

The matter is still not as simple as playing on game consoles, here you want it or not, but you have to communicate, so they start meeting and getting together almost “just like that”. They do not expect much from a friend, they have no complaints, they do not keep much loyalty. Friends often change without much tragedy.

Another interesting detail that never ceases to amaze me at the school where I work. Children sit in the class themselves, in groups, with those with whom they are friends. Chatter and games begin, cheating, which is understandable, you make a remark to someone, and then everyone immediately begins to blame the "friend", and so ardently accuse him of all possible sins that it seems that there is no longer any friendship between them and there will be it cannot, but no, everything remains unchanged. The "friend" will do the same in similar circumstances. Everyone, of course, understands that their own skin is closer to the body. There is nothing to be offended at.

Individualism is preached and fostered fiercely, although the result is often the opposite. I liked the photographs taken by my high school students during a trip to St. Petersburg. Nine out of every ten photographs were … children themselves, not children against the background of, say, Nevsky Prospect or on Palace Square, no. Children at the airport, children in the room, children somewhere else, it's hard to say where. The main object of the history being recorded at the moment is not a new, foreign country, they are not themselves in this country, ONLY THEY. On a stand in the school where my son studied, there is a wall newspaper with photographs of a trip to France. And what? In addition to the Eiffel Tower, some American boys and girls are either in the dining room, or at the airport, or in the room in the hotel where they lived … And with all this, as far as individuality is concerned, it is it that most often Americans lack.

Comparing Russian, Lebanese and American children, I can say that the first and second have much more individuality both in dress, interests, demeanor, and looks. In 1991-1992, I taught a course on Russian culture at the university. When discussing any topic in class in class, there were at most two opinions. They differed from each other in the same way that the positions of Democrats and Republicans differ. The young population remained strictly within the party boundaries. At the same time, the passivity of the audience was striking. It was very difficult to stir them up, to arouse interest in something not directly related to their life. Most of all it reminded me of the Soviet Union I had recently abandoned. The only difference was that they were simply afraid to publicly express their opinion, but nevertheless they had it, here ideology does not descend from above, the masses themselves are saturated with it.

In the full sense, "the people and parties are one." I was even threatened once in class. When I remarked that it was nice to know a little about those countries where America endlessly pokes its nose, the students asked me if I, a foreigner, were afraid to make such remarks, because it sounds somehow “against their country”. I expressed surprise and asked what happened to "freedom of speech."

Do you know how we relate to sneaks? In the States, however, they are diligently taught to sneak from childhood. If any conflict arises, you must immediately resort to the help of adults. If you answered the one who struck or offended you, it does not matter who is right or wrong, but both will be punished and at the same time, no one will understand this, everyone will be responsible for their personal actions, no matter what caused them. And this is not only in children. It is the duty of every citizen to be fooled. I saw that somewhere someone had deviated from the rules - let me know, fulfill your civic duty. It doesn't matter who did it, a friend or a parent, let us know so that action can be taken in time.

At the age of seven, the eldest son, once coming home from school, noticed that, they say, “you’ll shout at me, force me to do my homework, I’ll call the police, the teacher told us today that if we are offended at home, we need to dial 911, the police will come and figure it out. Ten years later, when the youngest son turned 7, he watched our attempts to force his older brother to study, just picked up and dialed the same 911, then, however, got scared, hung up, but we immediately called back from there. When asked why he did this, the child said that it was because we were shouting at my brother, and at school they were told what to do in this case. The police came to us and made sure of the situation.

The son of my local Russian friend also threatened his parents to involve the police in resolving the generational conflict, and also at about 7 years old. And there is no need to talk about what is happening at school. The only exception is such a thing as drugs. They will remain silent here. This is a serious matter, they can kill for it.