How to wean a person from drinking alcohol. Part IV. Who you should be

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Before I still tell you about where to start, I would like to further reduce the circle of potential readers of this series of articles. Despite the fact that I have repeated the idea many times about the complexity of my method and its inaccessibility for most people, this idea still seems to someone too abstract and not worthy of attention. However, I will now explain why it makes no sense for many of you to read further.

Observing how people live, we can distinguish two groups into which they are divided according to the ability to solve their life tasks. Even more broadly - according to the ability to "arrange space". Do not be afraid of the magic phrase "to be able to arrange space", it carries a very real meaning, manifested in the life of any person. I will explain this meaning, but this explanation is unlikely to be clear to those who do not have this ability. Thus, if someone thinks that I am writing nonsense, then immediately stop reading this series of articles, value your time. And who will understand everything, that has a chance to master the cycle to the end.

So, here we have a person that we are watching. Mainly you need to pay attention to how he lives, what he does and, most importantly, how he does it and with what result. As you observe, ask yourself the following questions. A person is able to solve the problems that arise before them, can he do it confidently, judiciously, efficiently and with high responsibility, or does he just spend a minimum of time and effort on this and rather go to do something more interesting? Does a person accept the surrounding reality as it is and continues to influence the emerging circumstances in any scenario of fate, or does he complain, whine and constantly dissatisfied with his life situation, not wanting to accept what life puts in front of him? Does a person perceive any situations as an excuse to learn something new and solve important problems, or does he just grieve at every failure and rejoice at every success, considering life as a series of such accidents that are not connected with his work? Depending on what the answers to these (and other similar) questions will be, we get either a person who knows how to organize the space around him (that is, to influence the world around him) or who does not know how to do it. It will be difficult to ask yourself such a question right away, and even more so it will be difficult to get a detailed answer to it, therefore, first you need to look at a person from a superficial point of view. Namely…

In addition to such fundamental questions, a number of characteristics can be distinguished that allow making preliminary assessments of a person's ability to influence reality. Of course, these are indirect characteristics, none of them in isolation does not allow us to determine a person's abilities, even approximately.

What does a person's home look like: is it clean and tidy or is it dirty and messy? How does a person plan his affairs and actions: "how will it turn out" or does he pay attention to the strategy of his behavior when solving a problem, thinking over different options in advance? What periods can a person think: “now”, “tomorrow”, “in a year”, “10 years”, “after his life”? How does a person say: smoothly and consistently or constantly gets confused, cannot connect whole sentences and contradict himself? How does a person perceive information and listens: attentively and critically, or, without understanding, immediately draws categorical conclusions? How does a person relate to their family? - here it is especially important to look at his children, a lot can be said about their upbringing (and in general by their presence by a certain age). How does a person react to criticism and how does he argue his position? All these questions can also be problematic to ask at once, so there are even simpler criteria. Namely…

It is possible to determine a person's abilities by a number of very simple signs, which, of course, also separately do not make any sense at all: relation to alcohol, to tobacco, to other drugs; attitude to things (careful or consumer); attitude towards other people depending on the consent or disagreement with them; setting oneself in relation to other people around (in the simplest case: parks neatly or not, smokes in public places or not).

The main rule: all these criteria must be applied carefully, the simpler they are, the more likely it is to be mistaken. It is possible to reliably determine a person's ability to arrange space only by considering a large set of its individual characteristics.

In general, having answered all the questions, the picture should look like this. A person who knows how to organize the space around him looks "prosperous" (in the good sense of the word), responsible, reliable, gives the impression of a skillful master of his craft in what he does, a pleasant companion, knows the answers to many life questions, always helps with advice or business. There is a feeling that any difficulties in front of this person become less difficult and as if the forces to resolve them need much less than it seemed when a person takes on them. Sometimes there is a feeling that when you share a problem with such a person, this problem seems to have already been solved, or at least it does not seem so terrible anymore. Even not very high-quality things serve such a person for a long time and to the maximum. Despite the seemingly busyness of such a person, you are surprised by how much he manages to do in comparison with other people. Simply put, there is always order around this person, but only the word “order” needs to be understood more broadly: this is not an order in things that may differ from yours (if he has one at all), it is, in principle, an order in life, and regardless of your idea of order in life, in any case you will recognize it as order, and not as chaos.

A person who does not know how to influence the surrounding reality gives the impression of a failure in life. Almost everything that he undertakes, he does, if not frankly badly, then simply “bearable” and without effort, but more often than not, some long-term projects are not completed to the logical end at all (they are left on the principle “if only it works”). For such a person, life plans are many times greater than his active abilities and even the simplest tasks for years remain in the form of a project with the words "then I will do it." He can start solving the same problem over and over again, simply without understanding his previous unsuccessful attempts. The word "later" can mean a different period of time, up to 10 years or more, and even for the most simple tasks. The question "why?" more often used as an excuse for being lazy than to get an answer. Even the highest quality things of such a person break down quickly. A person does not give the impression of being reliable, does not know how to organize not only someone else's, but even his own life or even simple work to solve a particular problem in his own life. Such a person can easily get bogged down in the "family routine", losing all his strength in it. Simply put, around this person there is a mess, a feeling of incompleteness, his work is accompanied by breakdowns, and failure haunts in life. In a word, this is a "man of disorder", and disorder is not chaos in things (things can lie perfectly with him), it is exactly the disorder in life, which you feel regardless of the appearance of the person and his things.

I have described two such ideal representatives of one group and another. In practice, everything is much more complicated and a number of individual characteristics from different groups can overlap in one person (for example, an unsurpassed master of his craft can smoke, and a "wealthy" artisan can have complete chaos on the desktop). Nevertheless, looking at the life of a person as a whole, at his actions, at his decisions and at how he acts, one can absolutely reliably determine his belonging to one of these two groups: either he knows how to organize the space around him or not.

It is important to understand that all of the above is consequences a person's skills, not his ability. That is why, simply following a number of formal rules and trying to demonstrate the listed qualities, you will not be able to learn how to manage space. Formally leading the lifestyle of a capable person is not the same as being like that.

Now, dear reader, the matter is small: my technique is designed for people who can control reality. If you are a loser in life, or even just an ordinary person, but unable to organize the space around you, then my methodology is categorically contraindicated for you. You should act according to the classic schemes followed by lecturers at public events, these schemes have been debugged over decades of work, there is a lot of material on them, so do not meddle in the souls of other people individually with the hope of fixing something there, just spread the information written and developed professionals.

Why is that? Because if you are a loser in life, then penetrating into someone else's life and trying to put things in order there is a crime against a person who, inadvertently, entrusts you with a part of his life. Although, most likely, you will not be able to achieve even that. At a crucial moment in your relationship, you will not have the strength and ability to correctly solve problems and answer the questions that the pupil will turn to you; in a responsible situation you will not cope with the complexity of some problem and bring down all your undertakings. It will be worse for him and for you.

First you need to learn how to change the world around you, but how to do this is a separate and very complex topic. Those who do not know how to do this do not need to be upset or feel somehow inferior. To each his own in this world, and if your task is to learn how to influence life circumstances, then you need to deal with it, and only then can you reliably help others, taking responsibility for which you simply do not have the strength now (and these are not empty words). This is precisely the essence of the phrase "if you want to change the world, start with yourself." The world can only be changed by those who are able to do it right, or at least simply capable. The same applies to the upbringing of people - it can be done by those to whom it is "given". "Given" can be, for example, as a result of work done on oneself, as a result of one's own changes made through internal efforts, and those new qualities that were honed to the desired level.

People who know how to manage space can become a kind of "social hacker" or "social engineer". The methodology of Social Forestry covers this topic as well. For those uninitiated in this science of social programming, all this seems like magic. This is why only those who already know the basics of social hacking or want to learn how to do it should read further. One condition: you must be able to arrange the space around you.

Now I can move on to examples of highly effective social code that does its job correctly anyway, but only if it is taken by a person with the specified quality. What follows will be completely incomprehensible to the rest. This will generate a lot of criticism and ridicule, but … do you think I care about them?