Pros and cons of a large family

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

I don’t think our family is big at the moment - only five people. But in many places this is how we are called - both in Russia and abroad. And many more are afraid to start a big family. There are a lot of fears and myths in my head. At the same time - many want to, but inject.

A large family has many advantages, they are much more than difficulties. And I will definitely describe them below. But there are downsides. And I do not want to pretend that this is not. So let's start with them.

1. Food ends instantly. Especially for vegetarians, because fresh vegetables and fruits cannot be stored for long. Well, all this is eaten in no time. To the store every day or every other day. The husband is always shocked where everything went. I remember the story of the mother of 9 children that they ran out of 20 kg of oranges in a day.

2. It is impossible to satisfy always and everyone. With one or even two children, it is easy to find compromises and make everyone happy at all times. And if there are three, four, five or more children? Someone is always happy, someone is not very happy. And this is not a tragedy, this is the norm. The main thing is that the dissatisfied face should change, and not always be the same.

3. It is necessary to change tools and change themselves (parents). One child can be passed to each other as a banner. Two children can be separated - one in each hand. And three? Four? You need to change all your ways of influencing children. This means to change inside.

4. Sometimes there are not enough hands. Sometimes you even want to hug everyone at once - but it doesn't always work out. And sometimes you wash your ass to one, and somewhere another falls. And we urgently need to feel sorry for him, but the priest is still not well enough.

5. More rigidly you need to set the boundaries of your time. When you have one child and he is sleeping, this is your time. And when there are three of them, and one is sleeping, but two are not? Or two are sleeping and one is not? Whose time is it then?

6. Find an opportunity to give everyone personal attention. It can be difficult, but a child doesn't need that much attention - two people draw a little, pick up Lego, hug.

7. There is no time to be lazy and depressed, because all the time you need to take care of someone. This can be considered both a plus and a minus.

8. Even children who love each other sometimes quarrel and fight. Especially boys - and there are always enough reasons. It's hard to stand, but I have not yet seen brothers and sisters who never swear.

9. Different tastes - in food, for example. You can't always please everyone with one dish. You have to dodge.

10. Collective ownership of almost everything, try something of your own just for yourself - from a piece of mango to new pencils. Who found the one and the slippers. And someone will definitely find it.

11. Noisy. Quiet only at night, when everyone is asleep - and even then not for long. The silence is becoming so welcome.

12. More things in the house and more to take on trips. You can't get off with one suitcase for five. And since there are more things, then it is more difficult with order, and with washing, and with laying out in places.

13. Traveling is more expensive - tickets, large rooms (one does not always allow you to stay in one ordinary one, sometimes you have to take 2 rooms or one large one), you need large cars for rent, and so on.

14. It is difficult for parents to be alone. Only if you run away from home, leaving the children with someone. As one dad with many children said - the more children there are in the house, the less chances that there will be more of them … well, you know what he is talking about.

15. You need to reboot all the time. What worked with one will not necessarily work with the second. With one there will be some difficulties, with the other - others. There is no single algorithm for upbringing and solving all problems.

16. In a large family, do not click claws, as my husband says. You will think for a long time whether you want a banana, you will be left without a banana. This is a minus for those who are used to thinking for a long time. Or, as I am, I am used to finding something where I put it.

17. The husband turns from a loved one into a service staff. The same is true about the wife - give, bring, stroke, feed, wash, clean. The functional load increases on the parents, even with the help of their elders. You have to delegate - and find time for opportunities to just love.

18. The more children, the less often you are invited to visit - especially those who have no children.

19. Things fall into disrepair faster - the more children there are, the more likely it is that they will paint wallpaper, bed linen, break a vase.

Let's move on to the pluses? There are many more, and I have not recorded all of them.

1. Fun. In general, there is no way to get bored when there are so many different loved ones around. The more children there are, the more unpredictable the world is.

2. Personal growth. Permanent - for both mom and dad. Whether they like it or not. And this is a plus - you definitely won't ossify!

In many ways, two is easier than one, and three is easier than two. They are distracted by each other, play, build relationships with each other.

3. Much depends on the older child - the younger ones will take an example from him. Therefore, many say that it is enough to educate one, and then put it on stream. Sometimes it is enough to teach one thing - and he will teach the rest.

4. A huge portion of the daily "mi-mi-mi", that is, something that you can admire endlessly - when they hug and kiss each other. When they are dressed alike, when they share with each other and care for each other.

5. It's beautiful. Photos, family videos, the same clothes - so many different ways to preserve the memories of toddlers' childhood!

6. This is natural. And many things are revealed only after the third child, and some only after the fifth (according to rumors). Many people say that three children are not a large family, but a normally childish family.

7. All children are different. And in a large family there is a chance to see this in practice, when the same parents have several completely different children. There is less chance that you will fulfill your dreams and realize your ambitions at their expense.

8. Real socialization. From which you cannot hide, you cannot pretend to be someone. You have to learn to build relationships, conflict, make peace, express feelings and yourself. For real.

9. This is more like the realities of life than the artificial collection of children of the same age in kindergarten

10. You can not go to kindergarten - why, if you have a real kindergarten at home?

11. There is always someone to hug right now. Anytime and anywhere. And this is great!

11. Mom will have to deal with herself and her internal development - otherwise she will not survive. She will have to find a hobby and change her attitude towards herself.

13. Both parents will have to "grow" a sense of humor, which is very valuable. Again - because it will not work otherwise.

14. With the birth of children, you become more efficient - you do more in less time. The best time management teacher is children.

15. Large families teach patience, humility, service. Children in them are more mature, more independent, they know how to take care and work, it is easier for them to create families and they understand what to do with children.

16. And yes, I will highlight this separately. Children from large families understand what parenting is, what to do with the little ones, what to play, how to look after. For them, the birth of their children does not come as a shock or some kind of punishment. They have already gone through the school of a young fighter. And this is very important!

17. And when the parents are gone, they will have enough of each other to support each other and be friends.

18. You can learn a lot - after all, each child is interested in something different. Become a pro in drawing, and in Lego, and go to fire stations, and learn how to sew and knit.

19. Parents finally have to delegate responsibilities - one or two children can be fully serviced independently. But when there are three or four of them, you have to look for other solutions to the problem.

20. According to my observations, mothers with many children are always very versatile and incredibly beautiful - both inside and out.

21. In a large family, the amount of love and happiness increases proportionally - or even exponentially.

22. And yes, it is not much more expensive than raising 1-2 children - just a different management (things move from one to the other, a lot is used more intensively and collectively, you give up the excess and quite easily).

23. Ample space for the realization of the talents of mom and dad! You can lead the masses, you can stage performances, you can put together a basketball team!

24. More joy, positive emotions, inspiration. Each child makes his own contribution to this great cause.

25. Children open this world to us anew. Every time. Every child. And this is amazing.

26. It's amazing to see in their eyes the continuation of their beloved husband. It is different every time. This is probably the most amazing feeling - to give birth to a piece of a loved one.

27. A large family is a reason to reconsider your life, and move to a more natural one. For example, move out of town, grow food ourselves, be closer to nature. One or two children can also live in the city. With three or more - it's already more difficult.

28. When a mother is busy with an important matter - that is, raising children, she leaves her energy there. While the child is small, he needs her one hundred percent, and a lot of energy is spent, she has no time to do nonsense. But barely growing up - mom is gradually beginning to endure the brain of dad. Because she has a surplus of energy. It would be possible to use it for work, but then it will spend everything there. But it is better for her to give birth to someone again - and throw out her strength there.

29. It won't be boring. Guaranteed.

30. In a large family, children do not suffer from overprotection, parents have no time to control them, to monitor them totally. There is more freedom and independence in their life.

31. Children under five naturally radiate happiness. Therefore, the first five years of happiness in the house are so many.

32. Mom and Dad become not just a couple, but truly dear people. The more children you have, the stronger your mental and spiritual closeness, the more valuable the relationship, the more love they have.

33. Faith in God increases. You have to believe that someone besides you keeps your children and protects, otherwise you will simply go crazy with anxiety and the inability to be everywhere at the same time.

Pros and cons … And children grow up, grow up, and at home it becomes quieter and quieter … And you are so used to the noise and children's laughter. Children are like a drug. It's good when they are, when there are a lot of them. And as one man once said, there should always be a small child in the house, as long as possible. I agree with him.

A big family means more worries, more noise, more laughter and tears, more love and reasons for joy. Once upon a time all families were like that. Now they are in the minority. It's a pity. Let's change these statistics?

Olga Valyaeva