How I came to the decision to give birth solo

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

I have always been an excellent girl. First, I listened to my mother, then teachers at school, then teachers at the university, and then doctors in polyclinics. I did it well, otherwise (fear lived in my soul) they would not accept me, they would not love me, they would not understand me: known to many girls, especially the only one in the family, the excellent pupil syndrome.

When I got pregnant for the first time, I continued to follow the flow of my obedience and went to the clinic as a reliable bastion of peace. There they will calm down, and even give colored pills. But at the same time, I began to get acquainted with the subject of pregnancy and childbirth, unfamiliar to me before, on my own, as I wanted to pass this female exam perfectly well, of course. And visiting clinics did not add to my knowledge. I already understood this then. I read a lot of literature about natural childbirth, mainly by Western authors, including Michel Auden, but I did not relate it to real life. Then the thought that it is possible to give birth without doctors did not even occur to me. I called an ambulance when the waters receded, and I was in a state of magical euphoria for almost all childbirth, and this memory overshadowed everyone else for a long time. The way they were rude to me in the emergency room; how, without explaining the reasons, they immediately gave a pill of oxytocin, from which terribly painful unnatural contractions began, and the whole birth process went awry; how they scared a sick child, although my boy was born absolutely healthy; how at three in the morning they woke up the women who had just given birth and took them to some procedure. All this came to me after two months, when I recovered. But even then I was completely satisfied, because I knew from childhood that childbirth is painful, excruciatingly painful, and you just have to endure it. And all these people around and the hospital-white environment, and the complete nakedness of their natural essence.

Therefore, for the second time, I just blindly went to the hospital, ready for torment in my soul. I gave this willingness to doctors in exchange for responsibility. Responsibility for the birth of a new person. To his health and the entire subsequent path. For your body and for your soul. When I returned from the hospital for the second time, my husband did not recognize his wife in this ruin with dull eyes. I could not sit, walked with difficulty and was able to feel a taste for life only after a few months. At that time, I would have died if the doctors had not pumped me out after a puncture of the amniotic fluid. That is, they pierced him, and the birth went unnaturally fast, for which my body was not ready, and then they pumped me out, correcting their joint. And at the same time they felt like saviors, almost ruining the life of a young woman. It's funny … But having stepped on this rake twice, I finally began to perceive myself and the whole process of birth in a different way. The understanding came that I was deceived, tenderly, lovingly, deceived by my closest and completely strangers. They were deceived in the most important thing, in what constitutes a woman's destiny and a woman's happiness. I was happy to learn that childbirth does not have to be endured, it does not bring torment, but pleasure, a powerful explosion of energy, the beginning of life. Childbirth is a natural internal process that is fully regulated by our body. Roughly speaking, they do not need anything from the outside in order to happen safely. The woman and her child are the main characters, no one else. It is not for nothing that we often use the words "sacrament" and "mystery" when we talk about birth. This is a mysterious process - how the soul comes into this world. It is easy to break it, it is easy to interfere with it. And in the hospital this pure secret, the secret of your family and at the same time the secret of the whole world, is simply trampled under dirty boots. And I decided to give birth solo, in other words to play the main role in my childbirth.

I went through serious training before the third birth: physical and moral, I realized a lot and overcame a lot. I was ready to comprehend this secret and comprehended it. The birth went smoothly and joyfully. I did not feel pain, did not experience any torment, but only strong all-consuming sensations. There was no fear, no one rushed me, no one slowed me down. Everything went as I wanted, and an amazing girl Vera was born. After giving birth, I also felt like a girl, and not an exhausted "childbirth". Needless to say, I did not have the slightest tear, despite the stitches from previous births, no problems with the contraction of the uterus and the establishment of breastfeeding. And now nothing can intimidate me: I know my body and I know my soul, and, most importantly, I feel the power of feminine power in me.

Taking births away from us, we are deprived of this feminine power …