Give birth at home

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

And when the girl grows up and prepares to become a mother, she trembles with fear, and then they begin to tell her that if something suddenly goes wrong, don't worry, our selfless doctors in the hospital will save you. And the future young mother freezes at the thought that she is in a position between life and death. Childbirth is a completely natural process, no more, more often than not, painful than a toothache or pain caused by some kind of trauma, but at the same time so wonderful that fleeting discomfort is an insignificant price to pay for untold joy.

With Panteleimon, home birth entered our life. It was Herman's initiative, it was he who insisted on them, persuaded me and organized all this, finding me a very good midwife.

Only after going through a home birth, I realized what I had lost, giving birth in state hospitals. And once again she was convinced that her husband should be listened to. A woman should give birth at home! I have something to compare with: I gave birth in the Soviet maternity hospital, and when we jumped from developed socialism to capitalism in one fell swoop, I gave birth to Sergius in the most expensive paid maternity hospital. Home birth is natural, comfortable, and great (with emphasis on the penultimate syllable). After all, it is much wiser to lead a healthy doctor to a woman than a woman in labor with contractions to a doctor. I remember when I started fighting with Arseny and German was driving me through traffic jams to the Moscow maternity hospital, the memories were not the best for both of us.

And when you go to the hospital in advance and languish from doing nothing, without people who love and support you by your side, you immediately feel like a patient who will have an operation soon, and not a woman waiting for a miracle. The baby receives his first and most important information immediately upon birth. And, of course, it makes a big difference whether he gets it in his own walls, surrounded by family people or in a government house among someone else's environment, in an unnatural bright light that blinds the eyes, in the room where, in addition to childbirth, abortions are performed. A baby should not be born in a sterile hospital environment. Being born in a natural environment, in which he will still end up in a few days after being discharged from the hospital, he immediately acquires the immunity he needs.

Our daughter also gave birth at home. Unlike me, she had a difficult childbirth, a breech presentation of the child, and even the girl walked with one leg at first, and if she gave birth in the hospital, she would have done a cesarean one hundred percent, otherwise she safely gave birth herself and is now waiting for the second baby, and I will soon be already, God willing, a grandmother in the square. Although Polina immediately, based on my experience, was determined to give birth at home, she nevertheless decided to go to the hospital in order to have an idea and understand how she herself wants, where she would like to give birth more. How to give birth at home, she had an idea: at the time of the appearance of her last brother, she was already fifteen years old, and she clearly remembered the joyful preparations for this event. She has already selected two midwives who have agreed, since such births must always be attended by two professionals who have had sufficient experience in delivering a breech birth. Polina, on the recommendation of one of the good maternity hospitals, selected and went there for "reconnaissance". The reconnaissance raid completely convinced her that she had nothing to do in the hospital. State setting, cold, attendants, smiles. Immediately comes the feeling that you are on the conveyor belt for the production of children. To the desire to give birth herself, there was an unequivocal answer that with such a presentation of the fetus - only Caesarean. When you get to even the best hospital, you find yourself in a territory where the "ball" is on their side, and they will proceed from their own interests, not from yours. How calmer and easier for them. But with such a presentation, childbirth, although more complicated, is still natural, and women do an excellent job with this task. But you just need to be a professional in your field in order to properly carry out childbirth, and not go the easy way, just mutilating a woman with a cesarean operation. And for a child, such childbirth is stressful, like everything unnatural, like any surgical intervention. Caesarean is an operation that is performed when there is one hundred percent confidence that a woman will not be able to give birth on her own, and now every third woman in childbirth is "caesarean".

Polina gave birth in such a calm and good-natured atmosphere that now, when she is preparing to become a mother again, she has no fear of childbirth. And when I was supposed to become a mother for the first time, my husband, who had already become a millionaire by that time, paid for the full depreciation of the maternity hospital in which I was supposed to give birth. We were a little mistaken in the timing, I entered the maternity ward at night, on another shift, which was not warned about me. In the registration card, in the column "husband's work", it was written - a cooperative, since there was no other definition for people with non-standard earnings yet. And just imagine - the first birth, a state of uncertainty, and from this a state of fear, and, I must admit, pain from contractions, and instead of such a natural support in this situation, some kind words at such an important event in the life of any woman, I suddenly I hear the words of the doctor delivering childbirth, who looked into my personal card: "Yes, you are one of the rich, and money is not a panacea, now you will give birth to a fool." And they inject me with a sedative, so that I start to feel sleepy. And this is in the midst of the contractions. I start to switch off, and suddenly they start yelling at me: "Let's give birth, otherwise now the child will not have enough oxygen, and he will have problems with his head." And under this nightmare, I gave birth to my first child, my daughter. I told Herman this story only fifteen years later, knowing his character and that time, I did not want the consequences for the attendants of that maternity hospital. Realizing that these are just unhappy people who already punish themselves with such an attitude towards people.

I already gave birth to Arseny and Sergius with normal, polite medical staff, but all the same, compared to home birth, this is not the same. But how comfortable it was to give birth at home. I will tell you how my last birth took place. Closer to the approach of the date of birth, the midwife began to visit me often, fearing to miss me. Since the previous birth was forced to take instead of a midwife, my husband, who always said that a man should not be present at childbirth. And this happened at odds with his position and desire because of the swiftness of my penultimate birth, since they took place without contractions, and I just woke up because the child was eager to see the new world. It was unrealistic for the midwife to rush in fifteen minutes, the time during which everything happened. And Herman had no choice but to catch the baby, give it to me and wait for the midwife. This happened at night, there were no traffic jams, and the driver rushed to me with the doctor at maximum speed, so I had it in record time. The midwife cut the umbilical cord and performed all the actions necessary for this event.

It should be noted that the umbilical cord is cut in maternity hospitals immediately after birth, and this is not correct. It takes a long time before doing this. It was my fault that the midwife was not around during the birth, I insisted that she leave that day, assuring me that I would not give birth today. The next day, Gerin's dad came to visit us, and he is a professor of medicine, a pediatrician, a pediatrician. After examining the newborn, he did not find any abnormalities in him. As quick and easy as the labor was for me, it was so stressful for my husband.

Therefore, when I was about to give birth again, Herman himself had his hand on the "pulse", not trusting my words that I didn’t seem to give birth soon. So with the last childbirth, everyone was on the alert, and did not succumb to my provocations. When labor began, and they were again very fast for me, it took only 20 minutes from contractions to labor, the midwife was available. The husband lit candles, threw incense, outside the door the children were impatiently waiting for who would be born to them: a brother or a sister. An atmosphere of anticipation for something miraculous that was about to happen was in the air. After the baby was born and put in the cradle, the feeling that you are at home, among people who love you, made this event a holiday immediately at the moment the baby appeared, and not after some days had passed during discharge from the hospital. When the child and I were put in proper order, the children entered the bedroom to get acquainted with the new little man who had come to our family. It was especially interesting for Panteleimon, he was the smallest at that moment, and then suddenly in an instant he became an older brother for someone too. He was bursting with two feelings at once: pride and curiosity.

Immediately after giving birth, a woman in labor needs to drink a little warm natural dry wine to strengthen her strength, which I did with pleasure. The midwife made me some delicious herbal tea. Micah, as we named the newborn, since at the moment of his birth the Prophet Micah was celebrated according to the Orthodox calendar, quietly snoozing in the cradle, resting from the difficult journey he had done. A big advantage of home birth is also the fact that you also use your bathroom, and everything that is needed for childbirth, everything is prepared by you, and you can rest assured that you will not be infected with anything. It is no longer a secret for anyone that even in the most expensive and "prestigious" maternity hospitals there is no one hundred percent guarantee that you or your child will not be infected.

I also really liked that I myself can create the environment in which the baby appears. I decorated the room, bought new beautiful bedding for this occasion, paid attention to myself so that the mother herself, when meeting her baby, would look beautiful. There is a lot of talk about the risk of home birth. With any birth, whether at home or in the hospital, there is a risk that something might go wrong. But if this happens at home, then the whole country is buzzing about it, branding the mother, and the midwife gets a prison sentence. But the same situation that happened in the hospital, as a rule, goes unnoticed for the public and without any harsh consequences for the medical staff, leaving unrevenged parents alone with their grief. How many stories with a tragic end due to a mistake or just a negligent attitude of doctors that occurred at the birth of a child in a maternity hospital, told to me by the affected women themselves, is known only to me.

One of my acquaintances, the wife of a very wealthy man, gave birth to her first child in a very expensive medical institution, and still recalls her first experience with a shudder: the birth itself and its consequences. Her life was literally saved by her mother, who came a few hours after giving birth to visit her in the ward and found her daughter bleeding, who was fast asleep, the medical staff missed this circumstance. The other four children, this woman has already safely given birth at home. Recently, a young couple came to visit us to see and learn from the experience of farm life and told me what a drama happened in their family, how during childbirth, due to the negligence of doctors, their child died. She had her first childbirth, in everything she obeyed the doctors, without yet having experience in such matters. Already when there were strong contractions, the doctor said that it was too early, and left to drink tea, as a result, the child suffocated. The husband never managed to hold anyone accountable. And I could tell you such stories on many pages, and despite the fact that I have a fairly wide circle of acquaintances who gave birth at home, there is not a single negative.

According to statistics, per 100 home births - 0.01 percent mortality, and for hospitals per 1000 births - 150 deaths across the country. It should be noted that obstetricians who deliver at home are always professionals in their field, because if the birth was not successful, they will face trial and, most likely, prison, therefore, understanding what awaits them, they work for fear, and for conscience. But it is very difficult to bring to justice for mortality in the hospital due to the fault of doctors. Most European countries allow home births, especially Germany and England have a high level of home birth attendance. And in order for home births to be available to every woman in our country, it is necessary to demand from the state an increase in the level and professionalism of the institute of obstetrics, the legalization of home births, to adopt the good experience of European countries, and not to stigmatize home birth and go to give birth to a state house.

Inoculation of cowardice

Once I was invited to the program "We Speak and Show" on the NTV channel, dedicated to discussing a real tragic story. A 22-year-old girl died after giving birth to twins by cesarean; she died twenty-eight days after giving birth in the hospital. Relatives were not allowed to see her under the pretext of her poor health, so that they would not bother her in vain, and the paramedics would not be distracted from their work. So she died in the government building, and those close to her could not even see her in the last hours of her life, be with her, tell her who her long-awaited daughters were like, and most importantly, to protect her. Now they are trying to bring doctors to justice, to find out the truth about the death, it is assumed that, most likely, during the cesarean, the bladder was damaged, which resulted in peritonitis. Moreover, the doctors insisted on the cesarean.

For reference: the woman in childbirth safely gives birth to twins without surgical intervention, for this you just need an experienced midwife. They received the body already in the morgue, and only the husband was allowed to come up to say goodbye, who, in turn, at the sight of his wife in the coffin, was surprised by the presence of a black eye and a scratch on his forehead. The morgue attendants told the mother that only one person could come up to say goodbye, to which she humbly agreed. They discussed killer doctors, a system that interferes with finding and punishing the culprit. And I was most horrified not by all of the above.

The fact that the hospital is a scary place was not a revelation for me. The maternity hospital arose in the nineteenth century for women of "easy" behavior and without a fixed abode. No decent woman would have thought of going to such a place. Another thing horrified me.

I cannot imagine that if I, God forbid, were in the place of this unfortunate woman, so that my husband would not break through to me and snatch me out of the hands of doctors, leaving me without his protection. After all, she was not in prison and was not kidnapped by unknown villains. Why do we all the time blame someone, anyone, but not ourselves "loved ones." In one of the previous chapters, I told you how I defended my deceased mother, not allowing her to be taken to the morgue, although I was also convinced that they were acting according to the law, and I was breaking order. And it all ended with the fact that they themselves later asked me not to continue this story. Then only faith helped me to overcome their lawlessness. The fear of committing a sin and admitting blasphemy in relation to the deceased, overcame my cowardice and made it seemingly impossible.

We are so used to doing everything that the ministers of various similar institutions tell us, to take their word for it. And they also intimidate us that if we insist, they will call the police, and they just take us impudently. They voice us the rules of our behavior that they themselves came up with for us, so that it would be easy for them to cover their tracks, so that there would be no witnesses if something suddenly went wrong (in the case of hospitals), or it is convenient to extort money from us (if it is morgues). They decide whether to be near a loved one when he is very bad, they decide what to do with the deceased. And we obediently agree with this and begin to seek justice only after the tragedy has already occurred. But "they don't wave their fists after the fight." But if you just start talking to them in their own language, threatening them that you will call them to account, then the situation changes dramatically. Many are outraged by the actions of the Juvenile Justice that children are taken away from normal parents. But after all, they take away from those who give them away, and then they begin to sue. Moreover, the law on the legality of the activities of this organization has not yet been issued. It was an experiment. We tried, and if the juvenile authorities do this, will they give or will resist. The experiment was successful, all the papers are returned and signed.

You can imagine such a situation in Chechnya, so that a similar commission came there to pick up a child from the family, justifying this by the fact that there is one less sausage in the refrigerator than it should be according to the developed norms. You do not need to have a violent imagination to predict the course of events in the proposed combination. We are treated as we ourselves allow. It is not the president who prohibits you from going inside the hospital to your relative and gives you the right to kill or maim with impunity, this is not in our legislation, we have not yet adopted a law on juvenile justice, it sits in our miserable, crumbling, cowardly souls. The most we have become capable of is demanding compensation. As my husband says, “it feels like we were all vaccinated with cowardice in childhood.”

Eyewitness note

Herman receives a lot of letters by e-mail, they write about different reasons, I would like to give one of these letters to you to read with the author's permission: “… Although I do not consider myself a person connected with medicine, however, having given birth to two children in maternity and a half years of marriage have not yet had time) and having spent their youth in the bowels of the MMA them. Sechenova (Moscow Medical Academy) as a student and employee, she saw everyone … As a child, it was very easy to idealize the world of medicine and feed your desire to help people with the idea of becoming a doctor. It seems I ran away in time. Let's start with the fact that medical students in the first or second lesson in anatomy (and this is the first year and one of the main subjects) are thrown onto a marble sectional table (each) with a piece of a corpse and told to clean the remaining tissue (or somewhat differently: depended on the part of the body and the "drug" that should eventually come out). Then, I remember, I got a piece of my leg, and I had to clean up the knee joint …

In addition, further classes followed the path of progression of callousness and alienation, and the corpses that were laid out in the hall where the classes were held (regardless of the need to look at them during a particular lesson as an entourage) were constantly defiled (as students - “racked”): a scalpel or tweezers could be stuck into the liver, used gloves were thrust into the abdominal cavity or skull … The guys were very fond of taking pictures, taking some “funny” poses with the corpse. There were also enamel buckets with giblets. On such a subject as pathological anatomy (2nd year), at the entrance to the floor, you find yourself in an analogue of the Cabinet of Curiosities. Peter I would have been envious of the abomination that is in the assets of medical institutions.

And in the 3rd year - topographic anatomy - in each small classroom there is a large metal bath with formalin, in which, like in a broth, various semi-decomposed body parts, fragments of muscles, tendons and nerves, together with latex gloves and a heap of rubbish float. Of course, for this you need to bend over and catch a piece for the class … I think that in physiology classes (1st year) they are forced to kill frogs in order to see how their paws will twitch, this is already childish pranks. As a rule, when faced with women with a medical education, in ninety cases out of a hundred you will not be mistaken, saying that there was more than one abortion in their life, for them it is like cutting out appendicitis. Regarding maternity hospitals, there were several cases both with me and with my acquaintances. At the time when I was pregnant with my daughter (our first child is 1 year and 5 months - so it happened not so long ago), the gynecologist of the antenatal clinic, in which I was registered, persuaded me to go to bed early for retention at 11 hospital (metro area Serpukhovskaya and Dmitrovskaya). There was no evidence, one might say, but I, frightened, agreed. Moreover, she said that it was for 3-5 days, just to see … However, as it turned out, earlier than 2 weeks later they would not let go. You can listen to enough fear and see enough - horror. When you were told that everything is all right, and the neighbor is one, two, three … comes back in tears with a diagnosis of a frozen pregnancy (in fact, it often turns out to be “wrong”), you don’t know how to behave and feel. After making this, often incorrect, diagnosis, doctors try to send it for cleaning on the same day, and only a few go to a nearby clinic and conduct a second ultrasound.

We were still lucky with the doctor, in the next ward there was a doctor who was a “lover of cleansing”, her strangely large number of pregnant women went to this “procedure”. Although it looked like a good-natured aunt, answering all the questions … For me, thank God, everything ended well. During the second pregnancy, my son (he is now 3 months old), at the 5th month, I foolishly knocked over a five-liter pot of boiling broth on myself … Fortunately, my husband was at home. They called an ambulance. I decided to agree to go to the hospital, as there was a large percentage of affected tissues, and I was very worried about the child. They took me somewhere to the "Pervomayskaya" area to the burn department. They looked at me there and said that if I could treat the wounds myself at home, they would let me go, but first I had to wait for the consultation of a local obstetrician from their hospital maternity hospital and the results of an ultrasound scan (it was a hospital with a bunch of departments, including a maternity hospital). I didn’t mind, because I went for that to be reassured. However, when the midwife came after an hour of waiting, she decided to conduct a manual examination, which is not done to pregnant women without extreme need, since there is a risk of premature birth, and she began to carry it out so hard that I was afraid for the baby. Even during childbirth, those obstetricians who gave birth to my first child did not allow themselves to interfere so rudely. After the examination, she told me that it would be nice for me to lie down with them (mind you, with burns not in the burn department, but in the maternity hospital), and after I refused, she began to frighten me and sent me to an ultrasound scan in some closet (that in principle it does not matter) to some girl suffering from severe squint. When I asked if everything was okay, she grunted and turned the monitor away from me.

Then I find out that the ultrasound allegedly showed placentopathy and oligohydramnios - these are problems that develop from the beginning of pregnancy and, well, oh-oh-very unlikely, especially in a 23-year-old pregnant woman without bad habits. They were not even embarrassed by what I did a week before the ultrasound and EVERYTHING WAS OK, and even a little better! They tried to put me down with a bad diagnosis and prognosis (including that the child is hardly healthy) and tried to scare me with the most dire consequences of non-intervention! If I were not sure that this could not be and did not decide at all costs to leave there and go to my doctor (I demanded a printout of the ultrasound scan from them, and my doctor in the LCD and three doctors of ultrasound specialists they said that these data cannot be trusted, and the printed picture does not contain what they wrote in the diagnosis, and they did not even redo the ultrasound scan), then I do not know how it would have ended … And so, I gave birth to an absolutely healthy baby!

My friend, on the other hand, got into storage in the late stages of pregnancy and was happy that she took her legs away from there and thereby saved the child. From their ward of 6 people, only she and another girl were saved in this way, for the rest of the neighbors it ended in tragedy … It turns out that under the guise of drugs that reduce the tone of the uterus (and, accordingly, the risk of spontaneous childbirth, miscarriages decreases), they were given muscle-reducing drugs (the opposite of the desired action) and carried out daily manual examinations, covering all this with the thoroughness of the treatment and concern for a speedy "recovery".

Naturally, all the unfortunate, unsuspecting girls, like lambs to the slaughter, went to these examinations and swallowed an insane amount of pills that were strictly forbidden to them in their position. My friend was saved by the fact that she once had a classmate in this hospital, phoning with whom she found out that the pathology department of this maternity hospital had a contract with a certain pharmaceutical company to provide “material” containing stem cells, and they have a certain plan …

Unfortunately, for her neighbors, this information was already useless, as well as for many, many unfortunate women … And you can't prove anything, and you can't dig … I don't know how true the existence of such an inhuman horrific practice is, but judging by that attitude The "treatment" that you are faced with, the conclusions suggest themselves … So for myself I decided - I will give birth to the third child at home … "Yes, the medicine of Paracelsus is terrible, but it is not without reason that there is such wisdom:" God marks rogue. " Pay attention to the symbol of modern medicine, it is not without reason that this symbol is the image of the serpent, the symbol of Satan.

Fragments of the book by Alena Sterligova "Beaten by her husband"