Six years without alcohol

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

There were many different bottles in the closet - "Pshenichnaya", "Stolichnaya". No, mom didn't drink it. Vodka was the currency for which you could change batteries or fix a tap, make repairs or something else. Then it was postponed that vodka is something valuable. The most valuable currency. Helping to negotiate and solve problems.

Then wines, champagne and beer appeared. Enough freely available. And I saw that not only plumbers drink, but also ordinary people. Everyone is drinking. All adults do it. So it's okay.

My dad died in an accident while drinking. My mother never drank much, did not like alcohol, did not encourage, did not favor people who were drunk. But she lived like everyone else, as expected. Holidays, birthdays, good wine just like that. When setting the table, she always went to the store for a bottle. And he probably still walks because the guests drink something.

And I remember how they had fun, talked heart to heart, made connections and broke them at the same table. How adequate adults from a few glasses turned into animals or even vegetables. As their gaze was covered with fog, the body relaxed, and they began to carry all kinds of delirium. It seemed to me that I would not be like that. Never.

At every feast, like a child, I watched the adults drink it. How they frown, drink, eat. But they still drink - and run to the store for more. I was told that when I grow up I will drink it too. In the meantime, it is impossible, until it has matured. Once they gave it a try. "That's disgusting!" - I thought and decided that I wouldn't drink it. But programming is a harsh thing - you get big - you drink …

And now you do not notice how you are already waiting for when you will become an adult. To grow you need to get some kind of initiation. And in our world this is not a passport at all, but the first legal glass. Unfortunately. If you drink with adults at the same table, it means that you have grown up. And since you want to grow up so much, you start to want booze along with everyone. Even if it tastes disgusting. I’m not for taste, but for status.

In high school, we started drinking beer. It seemed safe and right. Paradoxically, when we tried cigarettes, I felt ashamed (no one smoked in my house). But when we drank beer, there was no shame. As if I had just sped up the running of time for myself a little bit. As if I grew up a little earlier than necessary. As if there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, and for the parents it was normal - sooner or later, after all, children should start drinking, right?

Looking ahead, I'll say that I never liked the taste of alcohol. Never. Wine - any - has always been sour for me, beer - disgusting, anything stronger - just awful. But despite this, I drank it all. Everyone drinks and I drink. That's right.

At graduation, the teachers drank with us, they say, so you grew up. Like a baptism of fire. And with horror I think that our classroom, who was always against drinking, after graduating from school, at the same table with us clinked glasses with wine and something stronger. Until now, all class meetings are held over a bottle - and the teachers drink on a par with yesterday's students. If the person you have respected so much for so many years considers it normal, why shouldn't you yourself?

When I was engaged in tourism, our leaders always took vodka with them. In case of illness, freezing or something else. It seemed that this is a very cool thing, since it cures everything at once. And yes, they drank with us too. When we finished school, as soon as we hit 16, we became equal participants in the feast. Guitar songs, tents and bottles of alcohol. Romance, huh?

From my school parallel, several people are already dead. One was stabbed to death in a drunken brawl. Another drunkenly climbed under the bus. Someone drank themselves to fever. And I'm thirty-two. It's only begining.

And what a feast without a drink, right? You set the table for New Years, birthdays, weddings - for any reason - there should be a bottle in the center. And not one. You count the number of people, you estimate the amount of wine, champagne, vodka. This is fine. Just like others. It's not okay if you don't have anything.

When in the first university years we were bored, and we were constantly bored (few of us dreamed of becoming a mathematician), we drank beer in front of the institute. When we wanted to rest, we drank beer again. The same disgusting taste that I never intended to drink. Beer became the student's best friend. To pass the test, we often brought expensive whiskey or cognac to the teacher in a package. Once the teacher even made us drink it with him. Drink four. A good toast is five. If you don't drink - retake.

We drank with my parents at home - both on holidays and just like that. Together. For company. And then it seemed normal. And now, for some reason, it does not seem at all.

Alcohol has become so indispensable in everyday life, there is so much of it in the life of even those who are not alcoholics that now I am scared. It's scary to see kids on the playgrounds clinking glasses while playing in the New Year. It's scary to see very young schoolchildren with beer. It's scary to look at young mothers with strollers and cans of beer. Fearfully. It's scary now.

And then it was not scary. It seemed normal then. Despite the fact that I did not like the taste, the desire to be an adult and like everyone else outweighed.

I was not dependent on him. Or did it seem to me that she was not? Over time, I learned to dance just like that, without a glass. But every holiday a bottle was waiting for me on the table. Already expensive Italian good wine, which, they say, is even healthy. Only in the morning, even from the glass, my head somehow treacherously hurt, the state of weakness did not allow us to do ordinary things. It's strange, because wine is so healthy….

It seemed strange not to put a bottle of champagne on the table on New Year's. How then to make a wish? And how to receive congratulations on your birthday?

It is a little easier for women in this place. One day you get pregnant and you have to do without it all - even on holidays. And such a reason seems to everyone to be valid, no one bothers, everyone understands. There is another good reason - antibiotics. There are no more valid reasons for refusal.

If you are not pregnant and do not drink antibiotics, you must drink in the head of ordinary people. You're a little bit, to your health. Even if you are a nursing mother, it will not harm the milk in any way …

Pregnancy and childbirth gave me the opportunity to try a different life. Alcohol-free. And although my eldest is eight, I have been living without alcohol for six years. After he was born, I returned to wine on the holidays. And the second pregnancy taught me to listen to myself - and hear. I've learned to refuse. As well as from meat - without making an event out of this. Quietly. Just drink juice or water. Without making accents.

And three years ago a small miracle happened. My husband and I happened to be at Zhdanov's lecture. You may have heard of him. And what he told me so hooked me that I could not tear myself away. The lecture was a breeze. And I understood - not in vain. It's not just that my body resists this poison. It’s not just that I have never liked this taste. And it's not just that I feel completely different now, when there is no alcohol in me.

My husband stopped drinking that evening. Although he loved wine, beer, champagne. And since then, there has been no alcohol at all in our house. Yes, there were difficult periods when my husband brought beer out of habit, I hissed out of habit. But thank God, these were temporary difficulties.

Moreover, now in our circle of friends, not drinking is the norm. Imagine, you no longer need to answer the question: "Why don't you drink?" You no longer need to make excuses, look for arguments, lie. Nobody drinks. No alcohol. And everyone is good. Everyone is having fun. The feasts are warm and soulful. It turns out that this is also possible.

And at that moment you realize that you have been cruelly deceived. From the very childhood they were deceived. Not parents or relatives, but the system itself. A system that explains to children that alcohol is good, but only for adults. And not every alcohol is good, but only expensive and special. It's even helpful. A system that "conducts research" that proves that beer and wine are very important products for us. The system that takes you into circulation when you still do not understand anything. Takes and programs.

And you have no choice. Formally, it exists, but in fact it is not. Everyone drinks, all adults drink. And if you want to be an adult and want to be like everyone else, you also drink. You're not an alcoholic, it's just beer or wine. But you get used to it. You get used to relaxing like this, with a bottle. You get used to living any pain with a glass in your hand. You get used to celebrating the holidays just like that. You get used to having fun only by degrees.

Most crimes are committed by degrees. So are most casual relationships. Like most mistakes (for example, betrayal, quarrels, attempts to return the past).

It is scary that this is how many children are conceived, and then they are also "washed". It's scary that this is the beginning of the life of a young family. It's scary that the bottle becomes an idol in the center of the table - instead of an icon or at least flowers. It's scary that this is how we celebrate the New Year and program our future. It's scary that this is how we celebrate our birthdays.

You don’t think about what kind of poison gets into your body, what the consequences will be. Especially for women. After all, all eggs are in our body from birth. This means that every glass and every glass is killing our children, making them weaker, robbing their health and intelligence. You do not know that alcohol is excreted from the body for several years. That during this time many organs of your body will suffer very much. And most importantly, alcohol will dull the mind. In general, at this age you don't think much about anything. As soon as you become an adult, you live according to a well-established program, like everyone else.

I haven't drunk for six years. And you know, this is a special degree of freedom. When you can experience any feelings without doping - both joy and pain. When, in order to open your soul to someone, you do not need to pour something into yourself first. When you can control yourself in any situation, during any holiday. When you are not ashamed to look at the photos from the event later. When you are not ashamed to look your children in the eyes. When you understand that they will never see alcohol at home. And God forbid, for them it will never become the norm. Even a glass of wine for the holidays or a bottle of beer in the evening.

It is a pity that our parents did not know this. It's good that we can change our lives now. I am not proud of what was in my life before, "like everyone else." I would really like to fix the brains of that girl who was not going to do anything bad. But there is no time machine. I hope that I will be able to pass on a true example to my children. I really hope so.

Olga Valyaeva