Mom, play with me

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

I started asking what they mean by "play". It is about literal actions: sit next to the child and for a long time, hour and a half, to play "mothers and daughters", in cubes, to collect constructors and puzzles. Mothers do not have enough patience, they are bored, business is again worth it. Irritation begins to build up, they get angry with the baby, try to escape, as if from a boring lesson.

Stop here. The topic of aggression and forced action came up. As if classes with a child are a boring obligation, a court verdict and a heavy cross, which you want or don’t want, but you have to bear.

Who and when told these mothers that playing and entertaining a baby is a prerequisite for "proper motherhood"? How did they decide they should?

"But he asks!" - mothers usually say. “Everywhere it is written that you have to play with the child, otherwise he will grow up (autistic, socially undeveloped, fool, moron, stranger - depending on what the mother is most afraid of).

I don’t know about you, but in our rather big family with children it was not customary to play. All mothers have always been so busy with the household that it was revered for relaxation and relaxation to sit next to the child for ten minutes, to participate in at least one layout of the children's loto, to put a couple of cubes on the top of the tower. The same is with walking: there was no time to hang around for hours on the playground, unless you catch tongues with a neighbor, also a respite.

But! They always talked with the children, they were not chased away from the adult table, when they began to discuss difficult problems, played word games on the way, used any method to teach something in between times.

Yesterday I am sitting with a student (11th grade, I am going to enter Moscow State University). I threw him one-root, but not obvious words, such as "avant-garde, guards, midshipmen, advance, proscenium, adventure", and ask him to deduce the meaning of the roots. The boy sits, does not enter, blinks his eyes. And I think: how did we all know this? But my grandfather, when we rode on the subway, always played something similar with us, when I was eight years old, and my brother was five. And dad taught us how to count on the example of a game of 21 points. We learned very quickly.

I rarely play with children (play therapy at the reception does not count, there are completely different tasks and processes). I'm really bored. So, on the run I can show something, push in the direction, throw an idea. Further yourself. Not more than five minutes in one sitting is obtained. But the impression is that they need more.

Total. I share my best practices.

It is better for all toddlers-crawlers to be on "free grazing" on the kitchen floor, where you can drop various objects, but at the same time constantly comment on and name their actions so that the passive vocabulary is replenished. Do not drag the child with you if you leave the kitchen, but encourage him to crawl or hobble after you. At the age of about one and a half years, physical development pulls mental development, do not forget about it.

Toddlers-tramps are already able to do something to portray, if you give them a toy analogue, as much as possible similar to a real object. That is, a two-year-old needs pots, hammers, sewing machines - toy, but "like real". And keep in mind that time flows differently for them, fifteen minutes is very for a long time. They need a minimum of objects in the field of view per unit of time. One hammer and four nails. All the rest should be removed and given out in fifteen minutes, in exchange for a hammer. Yes, vain and sluggish, but on the street they already play completely autonomously.

From about three years of age, imagination begins to work in children, objects for play become more and more abstract, and play requires partners. Mom's participation is required less and less (normally, if the previous stages are successfully mastered). Mastering the fantasy world lasts up to five years, then mom is not needed at all, except as a servant and a cleaning lady.

This does not mean at all that the mother cannot enjoy playing together with the children. Just let these be the games that mom loves. I love Scrabble, outdoor ball games, Seth and all kinds of cards. I don't like mothers and daughters and “building a house under the table”. Well, I never play them, only plates with food to the sword under the table.

After six years, children completely move to the inner worlds, no props are needed for games at all, the same stick can be a thermometer, a regulator's stick, a magic wand, and so on. That is, at the age of four, the Barbie kitchen with all the personal belongings is the hit of the season, and at the age of seven it is better to give something for independent creativity.

The most important thing I want to convey to moms is to play with the child. not necessary! And to study in detail too. (I think I said that already?)

Talking, picking up, slipping strange objects not intended for children, encouraging to turn on the fantasy - yes. But do not sit and grind out tasks and activities, because "it is necessary."