The negative image of the father, which is laid from childhood

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

The number of articles about single mothers and forums under the slogan “you don’t need a husband, give a handout” shows that “family thought” is no longer or has ceased to be a value dominant that determines the life of Russian society and is unconditional for most of its members.

I am sure that one of the reasons for this phenomenon is the long-term purposeful devaluation of the image of the father and the image of a full-fledged family in the public mind.

If we delve into cartoons, which are one of the very first and main sources of knowledge for children, we will make an amazing discovery: the image of a father is most often flawed and has a much lower status in comparison with that of a mother.

This is not a coincidence, this is a trend. In domestic cartoons, based on the works of authors of different times and countries, fatherlessness is growing all over the place.

A mammoth, waking up after a century of hibernation, immediately cracks in search of mom (“Let mom hear, let mom come, let mom find me …”), and having found it, it doesn't even think about dad. The charming Umka also shows no interest in this topic - there is a mother, and it’s good (although she casually mentions that there are also some “neighbors, polar bears”). Little Red Riding Hood goes from mom to grandmother - where are dad and grandfather? The only men - fat and ridiculous hunters - appear at the close of the curtain, and then only in order to save the future successor of the female clan.

“And my mother will forgive me”, “Mitten”, “Fire is burning in the yaranga”, etc., etc. - where are the dads? In the female universe, these characters are not particularly in demand.

If the dad is not in the family, or there is, but takes up too little space in the family space, the child easily finds a replacement for him.

The unbaptized girl Natasha, who lives with an eternally steamed single mom, happily begins to live with evil spirits in the face of the brownie Kuzi, followed by other pagan atavisms.

In the cartoon about Carlson, dad (sleeping, by the way, apart from mom) is permanently busy, and his main functions are to reprimand, put in a corner, indistinctly mutter something in response to requests, smoke and grab his head. Accordingly, the Kid finds himself a substitute for his dad, another bearer of the masculine principle - the fat and awkward Carlson.

The father of the illiterate boy Kolya is permanently on a business trip, so the fabulous man Pishichitai with a beard a la Mikhail Kalinin is raising the child on his own initiative.

There are no dads in many of the masterpieces of Soviet cinema, based on works about the Civil War and the Great Patriotic War. There is a special case, after all, in war and post-war times, in principle, there are fewer men. But where did the father from the family of Kolya Gerasimov ("Guest from the Future") go? From the Vasechkin and Petrov families?

There is one more category - a single father, but here it is generally solid comic. The father of the princess, who fled with the Bremen Town musicians, in principle does not arouse sympathy - a helpless mattress with a bunch of complexes. It is strange that he has such a spectacular and uninhibited daughter (it can be assumed that his wife also faded at one time, unable to bear this bore with diet eggs).

Absolutely the same situation in the "Flying Ship", well, just one to one. Yes, at least "Shrek" remember: Fiona's father, in fact, turns out to be an enchanted toad.

One could write off such stereotypes on the principle of the class approach - monarchs were often ridiculed in fairy tales, but in Soviet times it was generally in the order of things.

However, firstly, now is not the Soviet era, secondly, even in Soviet culture there are noble and quite attractive kings, and thirdly, the comical king-father is a phenomenon of the same order as the "ordinary", untitled father …

The heroes of some cartoons, eager to become fathers, periodically adopt someone - either a puppet bull who gently hums: "Pa-pa-nya …", or a bird that smacks all living things with its endless "Who is there?"

Uncle Mokus generally picked everyone up indiscriminately - homeless pigs, monkeys, hippos, hiding with them from the half-insane and seemingly childless Mistress Belladonna.

The only image in this series that does not evoke an ironic smile is Kokovan's grandfather, who brought up a Gift ("Silver Hoof").

In general, the image of the father drawn on the Whatman paper of public consciousness is not particularly pleasing.

Dad is a gloomy drunk in Makovsky's painting "I Will Not Let Go".

Dad is an unfriendly and selfish judge in Korolenko's story "Children of the Underground", as well as a harsh and harsh governor in Stanyukovich's story "Escape".

Dad is the one who conceived and, like a hedgehog, threw him into the fog, about which Tanya Bulanova cried inconsolably: "Bayu-bye, oh, if your dad saw who he offended …"

Dad is a fool who, according to Vadim Yegorov, is not even able to cook food (who called men the best cooks there?): “In the house there are tram-tararam, dad feeds us with burnt porridge in the morning…”.

Dad is a shitty teacher, if only he could let go of his hands - let us recall Mikhail Tanich's “Song of Grandma”: “Dedicates his upbringing / Dad his free day. / On this day, just in case / Grandma hides her belt. And Vadim Egorov said: "Dad's grin is terrible, I rode from dad like a horse at a gallop, and like a horse, dad spanked me on the prancing priest."

And dads are also weaklings, because in both Russian and European fairy tales they do not even try to argue with stepmothers, who order to take the unfortunate child to the forest to be eaten by wolves. That is, they seem to be there, but this makes no one hot or cold.

However, there are good dads who, while remaining boys in their souls, infantilely adore fooling around, but they cannot be taken seriously. They are kind and ridiculous. Let's take a look at Prostokvashino.

Dad is a sorrowful pofigist, in no way responding to the escape of his minor son in the company of talking animals. This Zen car enthusiast, without any resistance, obeys the decision of his wife to go to rest at a resort (despite his desire to go to Prostokvashino).

Do you think I'm exaggerating? What is your evidence? Let's give other examples, I'm looking forward to it!

An indicative quote from one blog: "My three-year-old daughter once asked: dad, why does mom know how to do everything, and you - only paper airplanes?"

With my ears I heard the mother's affectionate appeal to the infant: "When you grow up, I will teach you to draw, read, count, and dad will teach you to pee while standing!"

In principle, all of the above was remarkably summed up by Mikhail Tanich in a song about dad. It makes sense to quote in full. Sorry for the parenthetical comments.

How many songs are we together

Sang to my dear mother, And about dad before this song

There was not a single song!

(Well, of course! Who is this dad to dedicate songs to him … - I. D.)

Daddy can, daddy can

Anything, Swim breaststroke, argue with bass

Chop firewood!

(Dad's skills are great and diverse! - I. D.)

Daddy can, daddy can

Be whoever you want

Only with my mother, only with my mother

Can not be!

(This is certainly a strong argument, you can't argue - I. D.)

Dad is in the house - and the house is working, The gas burns and the light does not go out.

Dad is in the house, of course, in charge, If mom is not there by chance!

(The light and gas are not the merit of the dad, but of the utilities. To light a match and replace the light bulb - you don't need a lot of intelligence. A clause about the domination of the dad only if mom is absent is very important - I. D.)

And with the most difficult task

Dad can handle it - give it a time!

Mom and I decide later

All that dad could not solve!

(Also a great clarification. In the "bull's-eye."

From the same series - an opus called Our Song with Dad, whose essence is already expressed in the first lines:

That a terrible pit is in our way

Or danger from around the corner, -

If only mom, if only mom, If only my mother was at home.

Who would doubt that.

A completely different matter is the image of a mother. I dare to say that we have developed a cult of motherhood, which, in fact, would be very cool if this did not happen due to the "lowering" of the image of the father. Have you ever seen a cartoon in which your mother would be ridiculous, funny, inept? Yes, there are none!

There are unauthorized mothers in the sense that they are tied up by a tyrant husband, but in this case they cause only sympathy. In all other cases, mom is an authority. The whole plush hop company, led by Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin, becomes quiet and obedient when Kenga's mom appears - pacifying, omnipresent and omnipotent. Only thanks to the calm and consistent Mummi-mom are all the rough edges smoothed out in the relations of the inhabitants of Mummi-dol (Mummy-dad can only eat cookies and roll memoirs).

Just listen attentively to this uncontested mantra: "Let there always be sun, let there always be heaven, let there always be mother, let there always be me!" (my proposal to replace the word "heaven" with the word "dad" caused a violent protest in the child). There is one more mantra: “Mom is the first word, the main word in our destiny! Mom gave life, the world gave me and you! ".

Specially spent a lot of time studying children's songs. Everything turned out to be quite predictable:

Shaking us in the cradle

Mothers sang songs to us, And now it's time for us

Sing a song for our mothers.

Mom keeps our peace

We will fall asleep - she does not sleep.

Let's grow up and be ourselves

We take care of mom.

("The best")

Do you understand what is the point? The bottom line is, dad doesn't count. Let him not sleep either, let him wearily cut circles around the room, lulling the cheerful child, figs with him. Mom was tired, mom didn’t sleep, mom rocked us in the cradle - yes. And what did dad do there - oh yes, who cares!

And if mom is not around, then this, of course, is an incomparable tragedy. The little timid image of the Pope, in principle, is not audible and not visible against the background of the widespread collective rituals in honor of Mom.

If a cloud frowns in the sky, If snow is falling in the garden

I look out the window at the street

And I'm waiting for my mother from work …

("Mom's Song")

That is, a sad child sits at the window and waits exclusively for her mother. And dad - well, it's not that important. Figs with him, with dad. Maybe he doesn't exist at all.

Mom mom!

There is light in this word of the sun.

Mom mom!

There is no better word in the world.

Mom mom!

Who is dearer than her?

Mom mom!

Spring is in her eyes …

("Mum")

If only someone said something like that about dads! Ha!

I will sing about how wonderful life is in the world

With a sweet mother, the most affectionate one, The nicest of them all!

("Mom")

Again twenty-five. It's good to live with mom, but not a word about dad. Either rampant fatherlessness, or total contempt for dads.

Well and so on - you can quote endlessly, songs of the same type drag on endlessly. "The earth is beautiful with the kindness of mothers …" ("Hello, mothers!"), "Everything that I meet in the morning / give Mom!" ("The happiest"), "Dear mommy, you are not dearer …" (Sunny song), "Mom was going to school in first grade: / Slowly got up again before us …" (Wake-up song), "The sun will wake up, mom will smile … "(song of the same name)," Dear mommy / We will all congratulate, / Let's say that we love her very much "(" Everyone will congratulate mom in his own way "). Etc., etc., etc., etc.

You know what the trick is … surely someone will write in the comments that the author (that is, I) has unhealthy complexes and a painful desire to assert himself. I want to clarify - I did not think about anything of the above until I had to take the child to kindergarten. Starting with the fact that with almost all requests, educators try to turn to mothers, ignoring the dads standing next to them, and ending with the fact that chanting mothers is the central theme of all matinees … well, in general, it is somehow uncomfortable, you know … and in society - on the streets, in companies … we do not live in an airless space, information is constantly coming in …

By the way, pay attention - on posters with social advertising calling to solve the demographic problem, most often one mother with several children is depicted. The father usually appears on posters condemning drunkenness. I remember that in the early 2000s I was struck by giant billboards along Moscow avenues - a sad child's face and a large inscription "Daddy, don't drink!"

(Along the way, since we are talking about it, I suggest that all customers and manufacturers of condo social advertising that flooded information stands at bus stops should be spanked on the face with a wet doormat and, having dumped it in pitch and feathers, chase the fuck away under a friendly "hoe-lyu"!).

And where can you see a complete family? In commercial advertising. Trading networks, manufacturers and sellers of goods and services understand that: a) a single mother will not provide them with the necessary income, b) the range of needs of a single mother is narrower than that of a full-fledged family. And this is a normal healthy life logic.

The problem is that all of the above reflects the attitude of society towards the image of the father. The father is not a hero, not the head of the family, not a protector, not a hero. The father is either a mattress, or a drunkard, or an unkind egoist, or a ridiculous clown.

I think no one will argue that the country needs more than just children, the country needs complete families capable of raising a balanced full-fledged child and capable of being a cell of society participating in a complex chain of socio-economic relations.

This is not my notion and not someone else's - this is the order of things, this is how our human nature is arranged. A child needs both parents, not one.