Dialogue with the landlord

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

When I was looking for an apartment for rent in Mostovskiy, I faced many problems, which I decided to collect in an exaggerated form in the form of a dialogue with the landlord (collective image).

I was, to put it mildly, surprised by the housing options that were offered here, as a result, we were forced to move several times. At the same time, many people sincerely believe that they have really good apartments, suitable for living, and by the word "overhaul" they mean "washed the floor and glued the torn off wallpaper with tape." Not all, of course, but most of the "renovated" apartments I saw required a complete renovation of absolutely ALL the elements that were there (wiring, sewerage, wallpaper, ceilings, floors, furniture, etc.), I'm not talking about the problem of cockroaches and rats.

Of course, there were also very good apartments, as many as three for the entire village. But the strange thing is that they were busy, although the landlord did not close the ad, but continued to look for guests. To the question "why do that?" all give the answer that it is beneficial for them when there is a queue, so that if some tenants leave, others will immediately come, so the announcement should hang constantly.

Fortunately, "accidentally" we ourselves were later offered an almost good option, although here we had to fix something at our own expense (current santenik, broken wiring and clogged sewers - this is probably a common problem of such apartments), having spent about half of the additional cost lease.

I mean that there are already people willing to move and help me in the development of the project, but they must understand that it is extremely difficult to find suitable housing here. You need to search and negotiate well in advance.

On the positive side, by the way, one can note the following: some people still have a conscience and rent out such apartments for free, just to look after her in the winter.

- Hello, are you renting a three-room apartment on the street such and such, house such and such?

- Yes, yes, I do.

- Can I see it?

-A good apartment, all the furniture is there, household appliances, major repairs have just been done, after the previous tenants, otherwise they broke everything there.

- So I want to see, can I?

- You can, of course, only pay view, four thousand.

- You fucked up, probably …

- Yes, you are right, okay, I'll make an exception for you, come to the address in an hour.

- Okay, only I have a couple more questions on the phone first.

- Ask, of course.

- Is there a polyclinic nearby?

- Yes, nearby, 5 kilometers.

- Oh, how is it next? You need to drive 5 kilometers, then wait another three hours in queues.

- No, no, the fact is that the queue for the polyclinic begins just at our house, you don't need to go anywhere: we immediately went out and got into the queue.

- Oh, yes? Very convenient, thank you. Is the yard clean? Do they not shout there at night?

- Yes, not that you, how do you generally imagine it for people to shit for themselves and yell at night? They would be immediately asked not to yell, so there is no point in doubting it.

- Indeed, well, let me come and see everything myself.

- Yes, see you later.

* * *

- Good afternoon, well, can I get through?

- Come in, please.

- Please turn on the light.

- Here, unfortunately, there is no light bulb in the corridor … it has long been unscrewed by some guests and taken for themselves.

- Are you renting out an apartment and cannot screw in a new light bulb yourself?

- No, of course, I don't need it, you need it, you can screw it in.

- Why the wallpaper is ripped off, you said that you did a major overhaul.

- Really? No, this is in another apartment, it is already being rented to other people. They didn’t do it in this one, no.

- Well, okay … where is the washing machine?

- What for do you need it?

- Well, what do you think?

- I don’t know, so many people lived here and nobody needed it.

- Well, I need it.

- Well, buy it, put it on.

- And then what will I do with her?

- Leave me, then I will be able to rent this apartment more expensive.

- Yes, great idea! So I will. I suppose I also need to buy my own refrigerator?

- Of course, otherwise where will you store the products.

- Why is the mattress all pissed off?

- Well, you know, many people lived here, someone with children, someone with very elderly people, they did not clean up anything after themselves, everything remained that way. You know, there are a lot of broken things here - this is our furniture, which we no longer need, we brought it here. This bed is all squeezed through, but do not throw it into the landfill, let the guests sleep on it!

- Indeed, a good idea. Plumbing, presumably, has not been changed since the 80s?

- Yes, you are some kind of optimist. She has been here since the very appearance of the house, here even the pipes are already rusted and the valves do not close. Therefore, it is impossible to change the plumbing, as you unscrew the old tap, the water will immediately rush, you will not be able to put a new one.

- How so, the old tap is already flowing like a stream.

- Well, okay, you will pay for the water, not me, I don’t mind. It has been flowing since the age of 76, and nothing.

- And, well, since the 76th, then okay, of course, let it … Presumably, the toilet is also from those times?

- But of course, there the drain has not worked for a long time, the water just flows from the barrel into the toilet, but you need to flush everything out of the basin. You collect a basin in the bathroom and then to the toilet …

- Ok, very convenient, but what other interesting features are there?

- Well, sockets have not worked for a long time, here they usually connect directly through the meter, do you see these two bare wires?

- Yeah.

- Here you need to screw the plug of the device you want to turn on to them. You can buy an extension cord and several tees to make it easier to connect everything at once.

- I see, why didn't they fix the sockets?

- Why? Whoever needs it, let him fix it. Here you need, pass me a new wiring here, I will be grateful to you. At my own expense, of course, because I don't need it. But I will be able to rent an apartment even more expensive later.

- Can you do a European-style renovation right away?

- Yes, of course, do it, I will thank you. Only if you buy me new furniture, I’ll probably take it home for myself, and move the old one here.

- Yes, health, I do not mind. I'll do everything. Did you buy this apartment specifically to rent it out?

- Yes, you are crazy! I inherited it, I decided not to sell right away, but first cash in on it, then I’ll sell it, while real estate prices are still growing. You’ll just make the repair, I’ll sell it three times more expensive later. Yes?

- Oh sure. Why are you renting at all? You don't have enough money?

- And what, there are a lot of them? I do not work anywhere, I live at the expense of others, for the fact that I allow me to live in my apartments.

- So you have several of them?

- I have four apartments, from them income is more than when I was the director of the company. Why work if you can not work?

- Indeed, it is much more convenient to parasitize. You don't need to do anything, just come and take the money four times a month.

- Well, here you are not entirely right, I'm worried about these apartments, I'm afraid that you never know what will happen, I risk that the tenants will be surrounded and disappear with good. For this excitement, I take money. Do you think it's easy?

- Yes, I agree, this is hard work, it clearly should be paid higher than the work of a State Duma deputy. And what do you think, a hundred thousand a month for such a murdered apartment is not too much?

- If you need it cheaper, get out of town, I have no time to bargain here, it's your turn, by the way. Find cheaper housing, see what quality there is. You will remember my apartment as a royal mansion.

- I see. Thanks. Can we conclude a contract?

- You are definitely not of this world. Do you want me to pay taxes !? No, let's get the money in advance, full prepayment, and live for a month, then I'll come back and bring the utility bill at the same time. Go to the bank here, pay yourself.

- OK, deal. Here's the money.

- Yeah thanks. Here's the key, all the best. Yes, I forgot to say, do not open the windows, here the heating systems are right outside the window, they decided to bring the pipe only up to our floor, so that the smoke is pouring around the clock right into the window.

- No, don't worry, I myself am from Moscow, this smoke will be like clean air for me. You'd better tell me, if I suddenly want to change my home, will you return the money?

- What money?

- Well, which I gave you …

- When did you give it?

- Uh … well, thanks, until communication in a month …

- I'm glad that you understand, until the connection