How to save your children if you are not an oligarch?

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

For some reason, it is customary to speak about those who are not children of “especially gifted parents”, were not born in a “yellow leader's jersey”, with a gold, silver or any other spoon made of precious metals in their mouths, for some reason exclusively in a pitying or derogatory tone. How hopeless are the prospects of such a person and what can the most ordinary, non-stellar parents do for him so that “it will not be excruciatingly painful afterwards for the years spent aimlessly”?

It is the parents and no one else who are responsible for the future of their children, because they are the ones who shape this future. Or vice versa - they do not form, frankly disguising as parenting, then to shrug and blame Putin for the disgustingly delivered work with the younger generation.

Putin is, of course, to blame. In general, he can be safely entered into the Guinness Book of Records as the Main Guilty Person of the planet at the beginning of the XXI century. However, remember Gogol: "It is, of course, Alexander the Macedonian hero, but why break the chairs?" Putin, of course, had to hurry up, but you are parents, what for?

We all know that in order for something to grow in the garden, it is not enough to throw something into the garden. You still need to tinker a lot with watering-weeding-cultivation. The process of raising the young generation is no different from farming.

It (the younger generation) is still googling in the bed, and with him already need to talk-talk-talk. If your words are not enough - all the classic literature will help you. How much to read? How much strength is enough and a little more. The more he hears words, the faster he will begin to speak himself and the more extensive his vocabulary will be.

2-3 years is the optimal age for connecting foreign languages. At the same time, your own knowledge of them is encouraged, but not required. Modern interactive cartoons do wonders, especially if you don't dump the child on them, but watch them together - parental empathy triples the learning effect.

In addition, you yourself will be able to tighten up a foreign language. My wife and I, after watching "Muzzy in gondoland" with our firstborn, somehow imperceptibly ourselves switched from contemplative English to spoken English.

With the first-born, we were stupid, artificially limiting the number of languages learned, and as a result he knows only three of them - Russian, English, Latvian. With my daughter, we no longer restrained her, as a result, by the age of 20, a person communicates at six, and now he is mastering the seventh - Chinese.

Modern opportunities for distance learning and communication directly with native speakers of any language create all conditions for the cultivation of polyglots, if only in childhood you show where and how the Internet can be used for peaceful purposes. And here the role of parents cannot be overestimated. If you cannot change the course of youth on the Internet, try to lead it and direct it in the right direction.

However, let us return to that period of childhood when a person still does not speak any language, but can already at least hold something in his hands. Once the grasping reflex is mastered, the baby's hands must be constantly occupied- there are never too many pencils, plasticine, musical instruments, no matter how the wallpaper and neighbors suffer.

And it’s just a little fun for the kid, but he won’t be able to go about his own business. More precisely, it will ride, but in an uncontrolled mode. Therefore, only together - to draw, sculpt, smear on the cheeks and on the table, fold into patterns and structures, in one word - develop in all possible ways fine motor skills, which, in turn, develops brain activity.

A pacifier - a dummy - is the enemy of the development of a harmonious personality. Gagging her mouth with it, and then demanding that the person say something clever is at least illogical. We eliminated the dummy as a class, even before the year and the sky did not fall to the ground, and everyone remained intact, plus the joy of additional communication with our own offspring, which began to babble faster and more legible.

The most terrible time …

The most terrifying time is the transitional age - the time for decision-making, and not only for teenagers, but also for parents. The transitional age is not a time of words, but of deeds, and the more stupid an act, the more intelligence is needed to justify it. In order not to lose your child in the abyss of teenage passions, it is at this time that you need to be near, which means for sure have to sacrifice. Career-status-wealth … Although you don't need to do this if you are not interested in the result.

It takes your time not to sit stupidly next to you, but to captivate, interest and lead … In Soviet times, circles and sections were engaged in this. Now there are no nannies - all by ourselves. Therefore, at least 3-5 of the most dangerous youthful years, you will have to adjust your career and economic plans.

Forced parental downshifting is not a loss, but on the contrary - an acquisition - a transition to the next - partner level of relations, but with one condition - if there is a common cause that must be created by oneself and common interests that must be cultivated. The real value is to truly live in the present, not to survive from the past to the future.

A decrease in income is not perceived dramatically if it is offset by a common goal, general plans and general ideas, even if they grow out of the school curriculum. It’s great to study geography not from maps, but from a landscape you observe with your own hand, but history - by comparing what is written in a textbook with what you see with your own eyes and touch with your own hands.

To love and appreciate the present, you need to know your past. The only question is the method of cognition. The history of the Patriotic War of 1812 and 1941 is much better "fits" while traveling along the route of the invaders to the East and back. The history of the Middle Ages is very useful to illustrate by participating in the reconstruction, during which one should try to put together a mini-catapult and construct a real combat bow "a la Robin Hood" …

When at first ammunition swings together, and then let three generations become archers (albeit playable) at once, this brings together much better than any conversations "for life". Standing side by side in one battle line, the offspring will not have to explain why they will not be able to stand on their knees for their Motherland. Building a coordinate system for a young person is a round-the-clock, painstaking and very personal business.

Together with history, in the process of making weapons and equipment, gradually and effortlessly, useful skills are acquired, which cannot be abundant. Ability to cut and knit, cut and sew, weld and paint. One skill … the second … the third … In the end, a critical number of them are recruited, which make their owner practically unsinkable.

Learning to think painfully

A kind word does not always reach consciousness. Sometimes it needs to be illustrated with a weighty slap on the head. It is not enough to have moral principles either; one must still not have immoral ones. And all of these it is better to take the lessons of life right away in practice. We made a mistake together - together we are looking for a way out of this situation. It happens - only with the help of a crowbar and some kind of mother … But what a thrill when it turns out to fix the broken and return the hopelessly lost!

We swear terribly, but always on the question “How?”, And not “WHO?”. In trouble, the smart one finds a way out of it, the moron - the guilty ones. To come to the right conclusions, you need to get away from the wrong inputs. All the same, even if you blow on the water, there will be more defeats than victories. Only a complete infantile thinks that the path to personal success is as straightforward as a hundred meters.

But how to bring this to the young and zealous? Only if you go through all the failures with him, go through them personally and at the same time make it clear that there are people who will support him, no matter how crushing the next defeat was and the wrong choice.

The one who does nothing is not mistaken

This is only half the truth. The other half is that sometimes the brakes fail even for those who are not going anywhere. Then a head-on collision with reality is inevitable. After a collision, the most important thing is to be the first to come to the rescue, without reproaching or reproaching …

We learn to get up, shake off, patch holes, lick wounds, without resorting to binges and binges. Although, if you want to try - come on, but only at home, so as not to fish it out around the city and not collect parts for spare parts … Then we sober up, get sick, draw conclusions, make adjustments. Laughing at the glamorous ways to deal with stress when a person becomes a shopaholic and then a nudist.

When they say "you have to try everything," you have to start with "try to think." It is impossible to learn how to do it in the “somehow by itself” format. Thinking can only be taught - arguing to the point of hoarseness, but treating attentively and respectfully to the point of view of a young creature, no matter how stupid it may seem to you …

Uff, profession …

How many of the warmest father-child relationships have fallen on the battlefield for a brighter future that parents see much better (or think they see). Of course, young people at 18 have no plans yet. Have a dream. A dream differs from a plan by its chaotic design. But this does not mean that the parents' plan will be better than the children's dreams.

The son of my very good friend, having graduated from an expensive and prestigious financial college, gave a diploma to his mother: “Mom! You wanted him - he is yours! and left to do what he likes - the design and construction of playgrounds and towns …

The best way to provide career guidance is to give you the opportunity to work in the industry that your offspring considers his calling. Some are very refreshing. Others, on the contrary, are convinced of the correctness of their choice. In any case, the percentage of getting into the top ten from the first run is extremely small, which means that most likely your descendant will have several professions.

This is the stock that the pocket certainly does not pull. And life, like the globe, is so round and unfolds so unexpectedly. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. Therefore, let's treat your plans with humor and respect the plans of another person, especially if this other person is not at all a stranger to you …

You need to HANDLE with children - this word most accurately conveys the meaning of the educational process. To mess around not from a year to three, but much longer, and not 30 minutes a day and not only on Fridays. This is not a work shift, this is life itself, that is, the concept is all-season and round-the-clock.

If we did everything right, did not regret this fuss of time and effort, then at the exit we get a person who is absolutely adequate - without illusions - who perceives the world around him, who speaks several professions and languages, and therefore is quite in demand and self-sufficient.

How can children be saved? How will they save us?

Of course, a person who has several professions and languages in his backpack can be turned into food, but it is already more difficult. But the entry of properly equipped and charged youth into the new elite is very real. Again, who will be considered the elite?

Those who have everything want to have everything. This is an axiom. But the fact that everything is possible for money is an illusion. In all ages, it has let down the inhabitants of heaven, and it is failing even now. In court, of course, the rich always wins the poor, but in a street fight it is the other way around. In this, in fact, lies the success of all revolutions.

We, born in the 60s, were deceived by the celestials so much that deception is no longer a tragedy, but statistics. Experience is what we got without getting what we wanted. God himself commanded to share this experience, warning children about the "bitterness" of the elites and telling about their weakness and vulnerability (whoever lives well in Russia will not be happy in London …)

During the rise of our generation, the corridors of power were populated by those for whom arrogance is an optimized conscience. And even the most shameless won the struggle for freedom of conscience. Our generation rose on the wing against the background of their joyful chants "steal while young" and "why take off to the heights of power when it is easier to emerge to them?"

The self-proclaimed "elites" have completely turned the dictionary of the Russian language. We had to re-learn old terms and remember that a good person will not be called a deputy, the fight against corruption is the fight of the branches of government against the tree, and in fact it is the elimination of business competitors, although using the word "business" to pump public money into your own pocket is also not entirely correct …

We will have to honestly admit that we leave social relations for the next generation in such a state that it is cheaper to paint and throw away than to fix it. But those who want to put things in order, we leave more of those who agree to abide by it …

You still have to fix the jambs and put things in order. Apart from our children, there is no one else … It just so happened - in Russia, some are slowly harnessed, and others must gallop. In order for some to show miracles of heroism, others must first show miracles of carelessness. We naively mowed and harnessed honestly. They are left with the second part - the heroic one. And this mission is definitely not for people with the psychology of a feed and a loser.