TOP 8 men's travel guides: How to build and keep a family

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

It is generally accepted that the best family arises from mutual love. This is true. But love alone is not enough, you need more and more. I want to share my thoughts on how a man should build and keep his family …

1. In order of entry

There are a lot of people in the world in pants and without bras, with a beard or bald head, but I consider men only those who are responsible for their words and deeds. Mom's sons, gentle daffodils, lazy bachelors weighing the pros and cons of family life can rest, I am not writing for them. A man is one who is ready to take on all life's difficulties and protect his woman and children from them.

It is generally accepted that the best family arises from mutual love. This is true. But love alone is not enough, you need a lot more. A huge number of married couples married not out of ardent love, but by the will of their relatives, sober understanding, coincidence of circumstances, and this did not prevent many from living in harmony and raising good children. And love itself, alas, is not eternal.

Love is a suggested feeling. A beautiful woman, willingly or unwillingly, inspires a man with love, which he sometimes cherishes until his death. And the other, on the contrary, instills such a passion in herself that she cannot imagine life without her beloved, although he (sometimes it happens) is not worthy of it. The suggestion of love can disappear, more often it happens slowly, over many years, and sometimes almost instantly. No wonder they say: from love to hate - one step.

The essence of the family, of course, is not love, but procreation. If a man wants to preserve his features in future generations, he must raise his children by himself. And they will strive to be like him in the best qualities. Maybe not only in the best. But natural selection will fix it.

Finally, it is easier for the two to endure life's difficulties. A loner has to "both behind the mammoth, and at the hearth", and there are few such talented people. The clever division of labor in the family has been taking shape for millennia; now it is gradually eroding, society takes on a lot. But more on that later.

Now I want to share my thoughts on how a man should build and keep his family. This is my purely personal point of view, without any claims to generalizations. Anyone is free to smash it to smithereens, I won't even mind. Laziness.

2. Eight male commandments

1. Be the head of the family. All sorts of family democracies and referendums, gender equality and other rubbish - well, their down the drain. Those who cannot live without equality should first teach a man to give birth, and relieve a woman from monthly ailments. Equality can be observed in certain activities. You can vote in elections on conditions of equality, but you cannot drink vodka on an equal footing, the female body is much easier to drink too much.

Moreover, no economic or spiritual system (and the family is one of them) can function on conditions of complete equality. You can only manage it alone. But the head of the family can delegate authority as much as necessary, the more - the better, this is the alphabet of management.

To be the real head of the family, you need to provide it financially. A woman also cannot be without work, but she should burden her less, leave more time for home and children. And if the family does not have enough money - the demand from the man. There is an exception: in his younger years, her husband's earnings are still small and he cannot cover all his needs. But a man must do everything in his power, take part-time jobs, improve his qualifications, and only then his conscience will be clear before his family.

Note. Now there are more and more families in which a woman is the head. Some live happily ever after. A woman often earns a lot, often runs a business, while a man is more concerned with housework, housekeeping and helping her. Nothing wrong with that. But we must remember that a thousand-year evolution aimed a man at dominance, male testosterone is a hormone of activity, impudence. In a passive role, the body gradually reduces the production of the hormone, what will come of it, let women figure it out for themselves. A tiger in a zoo with dead meat in its teeth is no longer quite a tiger.

2. Don't judge by yourself. Men and women are very different. We have a different set of control hormones. We think differently, we feel differently. What is indisputable for a woman, sometimes incomprehensible for a man. Let those who disagree explain why most women are afraid of mice. And here's another example from life.

For lunch there was a fish dish, and when the husband took over to wash the dishes, the wife said that this should be done with cold water. My husband (with a decent technical education) doubted: hot water, according to the laws of physics and chemistry, washes better. And he asked to explain the reasons. It turned out that no one knows them: the mother-in-law and friends unanimously declared that it was so, and why it was not known. Finally, it dawned on the husband: the smell of fish is unpleasant for his wife (as well as for many women), and hot water intensifies evaporation and smell … A man simply does not feel him, his sense of smell is much weaker.

Quite often a woman is guided by sensation, while a man is guided by reasoning. But on the other hand, women have a wonderful intuition, I often trust her.

3. Distribute responsibilities.

Usually a man is responsible for money, and a woman is responsible for order and comfort in the house. And it is better to agree on this right away, even before the wedding. Any help is appreciated: I, for example, regularly shop for groceries and can make a decent dinner, but the wife is responsible for the state of the supplies. My area is also repairs, recreation, field trips, sports, tourism. I will not list women's responsibilities, everyone knows them.

4. Don't be greedy! A woman is comfortable if she is not constrained in funds. She doesn't need this new saucepan or perfume so much, she is pleased to know that she can afford these purchases. And if there is not enough money for everything, you should not be too lazy to write down expenses for a month or two; rest assured - reserves will be found. In our case, it turned out that a fair amount of money was spent on books, gifts, and children's toys.

5. Do not get carried away by calf tenderness. You want to carry your beloved and desired in your arms every day, but remember - they quickly get used to it. And after a while your admiration will become commonplace. A kind, understanding look sometimes contains more warmth than the usual compliments and caresses.

6. Do not lose your optimism! 2-3 pairs of eyes look at you with hope, they are sure that dad will find a way out of any situation. You can't disappoint them. It is better to hide even a rare momentary weakness, you can entrust it only to your wife, she will support you.

7. Be wary of routine. No love can stand it. Therefore - evenings by candlelight, beautiful new things, poetry (if you can), humor (if you don’t know how), games, trips, picnics, etc. Regular gifts bring a huge dose of routine. It is imperative to give, but from the heart, what really pleases, and not just what is horrible, because it is supposed to be a holiday.

8. Be an example to the children. Pedagogy has piled up various rules in upbringing, useful and not very useful, but our ancestors did without it completely. By example. If parents go in for sports, children will also like it. The most important thing in upbringing is to teach children to work, so that it will be a joy. If children see working parents every day with interest, they will surely accept it. But the time for entertainment needs to be dosed.

Now let's try to look a little ahead, in perspective.

3. What awaits the family in the future

The number of single people is growing in the world, which means that the institution of the family is gradually losing ground. Old retired people no longer need help from their children. Increasingly, children are scattered around the world and are not too attached to their parents. The household industry has eased the lot of a single man, and freedom of morals satisfies his needs in an intimate sphere.

Previously, joint ownership of property greatly strengthened the position of the family. The carve-up threatened him with large losses, and worked against divorce. Now more and more often property is owned separately, on the basis of marriage contracts, this facilitates the breakdown of the family in advance.

Technological progress also contributes. The number of professions that are difficult to match with family living is steadily growing. Sailors, shift workers, actors, athletes. An acquaintance of mine lives in Virginia, and his wife teaches in Florida. She flies there every Monday and returns on Friday. No wonder they have no children.

If earlier it was difficult to live without a family, now it is not only possible, but sometimes also convenient. It seems that the family is doomed, and in the distant future there will be no place for it.

But I disagree. I think, nevertheless, the family will not disappear. It's just that people seem to be divided into two groups. The first will include politicians, artists, athletes, rich bums, as well as egotists, feminists, homosexuals and other "child free". They don't have to have children. If it feels like it, they will lead one or two, hand over to grandmothers or governesses for upbringing. And which of them, to edrene-fen, are parents - life on the road, body in botox, on anabolic steroids and tranquilizers, already at 40 years old someone has time to kick back … They have no close ones, only temporary connections. These people are closed on society as a whole and eat in its bins. And the other (most) part will keep families and will draw warmth and support from them. I am convinced that the society, awakened from the dope, will pay due attention to them, because otherwise it will simply disappear from the face of the earth.

4. Instead of a conclusion

For a man, the main thing in life is business. Problems start with retirement; some simply die of lack of demand, they cannot live without work. It is bad if at this moment the realization comes: the years have passed, but the family has not worked out. Or broke up.

Here, each in its own way. Those who retain professional skill or wealth marry (often unsuccessfully) at both 60 and 70. Others go into religion, others - into unrestrained drunkenness … It's not for me to judge them. I will say this: if a man managed to live his life with dignity, he must find the strength in himself and finish it with dignity.