From city to country: a whole new life

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Then I met my woman - Irina. A son was born, then a second. Days followed by days that rarely differed from each other.

I got an interesting job, delved into it, and achieved success. And on the threshold of another promotion I saw what was ahead. Career, retirement and old age. Like everyone else around. Like my parents.

I tried to escape this feeling of hopelessness by changing jobs. Sometimes he worked for two at once. My plans were formulated a long time ago: to buy an apartment, earn more money, then buy a bigger apartment …

And in the summer for two weeks I went on kayaking trips or to a fishing camp. I lived happily these days, waited the rest of the year: "Summer will come, I will go to nature." From childhood, a familiar program: "when you go to school, then …", "when you finish school, then …" Until then, do as you are told.

I came to a city apartment with a feeling of melancholy: I had already repaired all the sockets, thrown out the trash …

Once my wife asked:

- Do you feel good anywhere?

- Yes, - I answered, - two weeks a year, in nature.

- Then why do you live in the city?

And I understood: I had to leave. Since my earnings were connected with the city, I did not dare to go far. But, just in case, he mastered web design a little and began to make money with this.

We were looking for a home. In the suburbs, we did not like: the city dumps were burning nearby, the neighboring fences were pressed directly against the windows of the houses that were offered to us. But I was just afraid to think about going further than the city minibus goes.

And then one day we came to visit friends - in a distant wilderness, 80 km from the city. They lived in a large village stretched between the hills and the river. It was very interesting there. Once I realized that every weekend I try to find an excuse not to go looking for a house in the suburbs, but to visit friends in a distant village.

It's very beautiful there. Wide Don, over which the hills rise. Huge apple orchards and an alder forest extending beyond the orchard. I was looking for My place. And one day I realized that I want to live here.

In the spring we collected all our things and moved to this village, to the guest house of friends. It was an old reed house - without a foundation, wooden pillars stand right on the ground, reeds are sewn between the pillars, and all this is smeared with clay. And we began to master the village life and look for a house to buy.

The urban feeling that only old age is ahead was replaced by a thrill: "Everything is just beginning!" We settled in, got used to the fact that through the windows you can see the sky and grass, there is silence and delicious air around. Earned money through the Internet. Dreams that were impossible in the city were coming true. My wife always dreamed of having a horse. And we have a one-year-old Orlov trotter. I wanted a big dog and bought an alabai. The sons (at that time they were two and five) from morning to evening ran up and down the hills and built huts in all the surrounding thickets.

And all this time we continued to look for a home. At first, they wanted to settle very close to friends. The idea of joint projects and common space was in the air. But then I realized: I do not need a common land, but my land, where I can be the Master.

As a result, we found a log house on the very outskirts, with a vegetable garden extending into the forest, with an excellent hay barn, a stable and a huge old garden. We agreed on a deal and … thought about it.

A distant dream threatened to become a reality. A frightening "forever" loomed on the horizon. We wondered if we had made the right choice. These days, one evening, our young horse ran away into the meadows, into the floodplain of the river. I, as usual, went to catch her. My wife took a bicycle and followed us around the road. I caught up with the horse on the shore, it stood and waited for me. I took her by the bridle and walked towards the house. After a while Irina joined us. We walked through the meadow, in front of us lay the whole village, behind it the hills. Nearby, about twenty meters away, two storks landed on the meadow. A blind rain was drizzling, there were two rainbows in the sky, and a ray of light fell through the clouds on our future home. This place smiled at us. And we were glad that we stayed.

I have been living in the village for almost two years. New families are constantly moving here, and I communicate with them. Together we fix our houses, fix cars and mow the grass. I love that I spend a lot of time at home. When I want to see my friends or parents, I get in the car and drive to the city. And at home and in the yard there is always something to put your hands on. Here my male concern for the family is expressed in simple and concrete deeds. It's not just about making money. I again began to practice massage and bone-setting, which I abandoned in the city. I also make simple furniture for us, take care of the garden and the horses. Gradually, the house was improved, and now our life is even better than in the city. I see how my actions change the life of my family, and from this I change myself. And I have the opportunity to stop, think, look at the clouds in the sky. Or take my dog and leave to wander alone with the whole world. And then I get back to business. I think if I had stayed in the city, I would not have reached the level of awareness that appeared here for many more years.

When I now look from here at what my concern for my family in the city looked like, I have simple cynical words. I paid off with money from my loved ones. I paid them to not be with them. And he spent his life with candidates for deputy, with clients, performers, contractors, but not with his family. I came home to eat, sleep, and more often than not my thought was: "Leave me alone, I am tired, I was making money." This was the pattern my boys saw. I remember from childhood the parental formula: if the refrigerator is full, then nothing else is required from the father.

In the city I changed masks: "specialist", "family man", "friend on vacation" … Like all the men around. Arriving in the village, I did not suddenly become different. It's just that masks are useless here. Here I act in different situations in different ways, but it is always me.

And now I will add these lines, we will take the saddles and ride with my wife on horseback to the apple orchard, and then to the forest, and further to the hills …

Alexander Fin