Resolve or Suppress?

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

- What are you doing? - asked the little prince.

- I drink, - the drunkard answered gloomily.

- Why?

- To forget.

- What to forget about? - asked the little prince. He felt sorry for the drunkard.

- I want to forget that I am ashamed, - the drunkard admitted and hung his head.

- Why are you ashamed? - asked the little prince. He really wanted to help the poor fellow.

- I'm ashamed to drink!

Antoine de Saint-Exupery. Little Prince

When reading the article about the fight against the devil, a misunderstanding of the following nature might arise: as if instead of solving the problem associated with your shortcoming, you need to forget about it and not remember any more. It starts to seem especially strong after the phrase:

Or you can not fight at all, it is enough NOT to think about the problem of your addiction and ignore any signals …

In reality, this will lead to the displacement of the problem into the subconscious, and the repressed algorithms will still play its role in a different, but already uncontrollable way for you. It is still unknown which is worse: to remain with your own shortcoming, constantly “losing to the devil” or to “expel” everything into the subconscious, guaranteed to acquire some kind of psychological illness and “saboteur” in your head.

Actually I am NOT suggesting to ignore the solution to the problem, I am suggesting to ignore ONLYthe appeal of his inner "devil", the dialogue that he wants to start with you WITH A PURPOSE to persuade you to work out a vicious algorithm. As for the problem itself, here it is categorically impossible to ignore and displace it. On the contrary, you need it first RECOGNIZEin oneself, then realize more clearly, find the necessary management concept in relation to the problem and implement this management in full. It would seem that there is nothing complicated … but no, drunks still drink, and males cannot walk past a woman so as not to appreciate the smooth lines of her body, already at that moment committing an act of adultery.

Before further reading, I recommend (but not necessarily) look at an anonymous article in our VK group, it was she who made me remember the topic that I wanted to analyze, but abandoned, writing only a short critical note "On the fight against shortcomings." It will only be wrong to criticize, you also need to try to explain the alternative: how to do it right? Of course, by the word "correct" I, as before, understand: "correct in my understanding, and this understanding has been tested in my life practice and in the practice of some people I know."

What is the main problem?

In my subjective opinion, with which I once again advise NOT to agree immediately, the main problem is REFUSAL TO RECOGNIZEyour flaw and come to terms with its presence. To overcome a flaw, you need to know well what you are struggling with. Judge for yourself: if an alcoholic constantly convinces himself that he drinks a little, rarely and "in moderation is not harmful", constantly receiving feedback from life for his drunkenness, then the problem will never be solved. Displacing it into the subconscious will not change a person's morality, but will aggravate the situation by manifesting in other forms. For example, a person will develop another addiction, the joy of life will disappear, bouts of unmotivated aggression will begin, and so on. It’s even worse if he subsequently begins to hate himself.

However, you cannot stop here, because accepting yourself as you are is only first step, and it will lead to rapid degradation without a second step.

Second step- awareness of the fact of the problem. It is necessary to understand that this is really a problem and it must be solved: the flaw must be eliminated, and something else must appear IN REPLACE OF IT. Yes, this is very important: you cannot, for example, just remove addiction, you need to propose a way to invest the released energy into something else. I often witnessed how a person temporarily got rid of a deficiency, but he was immediately crushed by boredom, routine and routine, because he did not know what to do now with the freed up resources and time, as a result, he was forced to transfer all this to another parasite … There was a parasite in the form of alcohol, and then a parasite appeared in the form of, say, unrestrained shopping, watching stupid TV shows, collecting butterflies, organizing another club of losers, etc. Worst of all, if then the worm of alcohol dependence returns and helps to "eat up" the unfortunate man already with a vengeance.

Third step- solution development. It is not enough just to understand that the problem needs to be solved, it is necessary to find a WAY of solving and, in fact, a suitable alternative for the implementation of the freed up resources. It all depends on the problem and the person himself. Everyone must decide for himself what to do and in what capacity. However, common to all possible (already existing or not yet invented) approaches is an important rule: only a change in moral attitudes can lead to the problem being solved, in all other cases it will be pushed into the subconscious. In other words, it's one thing when you suppressed the craving for a bottle by willpower, and another thing is when your morality has changed so much that you IN PRINCIPLE are no longer able to take a bottle and drink, as if alcohol ceased to exist for you, and an imaginary picture of its use seems to be something completely obscene or "from a parallel universe." In other words, you no longer need volitional efforts to refuse the bottle, because there is not a single impulse to take it at all: neither physiological, nor cultural-social (in the form of a herd-flocking algorithm that calls for a drink at the New Year's table).

By the way, an interesting observation: if, after giving up alcohol, you have a disdainful attitude towards those who have not yet done so, as well as a desire to teach your drinking comrades in humiliating forms, then you have chosen the wrong alternative. Instead of directing the liberated energy to something useful, you spend it on gloating, self-exaltation, self-praise, playing the scourge of God and other amusements of a typical "demon" realizing his superiority in an artificial hierarchy (suitable only for children from sandboxes and representatives of movements such as StopHam, LevPros and others like them).

A less obvious example of such a wrong alternative: when the oligarch, who stole money at one time, suddenly realized his sins and decided to donate this money to charities, but instead of doing it right, he does it for show, constantly showing others his ostentatious generosity and involvement in useful work.

An example of an incorrect alternative that is completely unobvious for many: a person realized that he was living wrong and decided to live right, but instead of actually living right, he developed an artificial concept of life arrangement and organized a movement to unite people based on this concept, announcing it as the only one - correct. Now he sits and teaches other people to live correctly, very belligerently defending his superficial fabrications in front of just critics. And although the basic prerequisites for such behavior are correct (it really SHOULD UNDERSTAND, to begin with, somehow, the concept of life arrangement), it is wrong to continue persisting in defending those postulates of the concept that went against the real practice of life. As for the only correctness, the situation here is rather complicated: the truth, yes, exists, and it is one, however, it is doubtful that one person can be aware of himself as its full-fledged bearer, and even more so will be able to express it in lexical forms. Remember the Quran?

If the sea became the ink for [writing] the words of my Lord, it would have dried up before the words of my Lord had dried up, even if another sea had been added to it. [Surah 18, verse 109, trans. Osmanov].

It is necessary to listen to a person who knows how to do it, however, in his understanding of life, there will certainly be delusions along with valuable thoughts. But that is another topic…

But now you have developed a management concept (what and how to do) in relation to an undesirable environmental factor (your ALREADY CONSCIOUS lack). What's next?

Further head Odrive a tractor - and drive. Figuratively, of course. Let me explain now.

"Tractor" in my understanding of the world is a kind of technique that has infinite cross-country ability in any conditions. Slowly but surely, this tractor will transport you through any swamps and ravines. The main rule here is one - drive … In other words, you must constantly and methodically put your concept of management into practice, and not like most people I know do: lie on the couch until a roasted cock bites. Then, when a lot of time passes, they suddenly realize, unexpectedly for themselves, that if during the past year the tractor would move at least a meter per minute, then it would be possible to go VERY far (figuratively, to get to another city) from its original state, compared to work done in one day / hour. Now the poor fellow is trying to run these a little more than five hundred kilometers "three days before the exam." Familiar situation?

It would be a big mistake to think that the tractor personifies the will of man, since it is so strong and powerful. No guys, the tractor in my imagination is the work of the mind. Every day, every hour, minute and even second, in the background, you have to keep your brain turned on all the time. Even in sleep, the task MUST be done. Let it be slow, but sure and guaranteed. Dead end? - Look for a detour option or be patient to demolish the obstacle. Flat tire? - Take the pump and pump it. Driving in the wrong direction? - It doesn't matter, we turned around and went to another, having previously CHANGED or CORRECTED the devices that determine the correct course (usually this device is morality and, as a result, discrimination from God). ALL problems are solved IF they are solved:

Take me as I am

This phrase falls into the subject of the article and requires a short explanation.

Many people do not quite correctly understand the just desire of other people to accept them as they are. However, those also do not quite correctly express this desire.

This famous phrase of girls: “I want to be accepted as I am” means literally the following: “I want you to know and accept both my merits and my shortcomings,” however, in modern society, the condition is added to this phrase: "… and did not try to remake me."

So, this reservation at the end is a rejection of the second step, after which a rapid degradation begins. The first part of the phrase says to ACCEPT a person, to realize that he has such and such qualities. This is absolutely correct: the definition of the environmental factor is the most important element of the complete management function, you need to know - with whom or with what we are dealing. And only by accepting a problem as a problem (or by accepting a person in our life WHOLE), we can work with it (with him) without any surprises and previously hidden details. Moreover, hidden either by their own imagination, or by unwillingness to face the truth.

Both the merits and demerits must be recognized and recognized.

Then it becomes clear what and how to work TOGETHER.

One technique to combat procrastination

On the basis of the recommendations given here, one method of combating laziness and procrastination is born. She is popularly described in the psychological analysis of three famous films:

I will explain the technique in my own words (as you can see, my way of accessing it was different than that of Roman, the author of the video and an interesting channel, to which I recommend subscribing):

1 You should REALIZE (or admit to yourself)that you are doing stupid things and why you are doing them. This usually happens because stupidity gives you pleasure, and more than the necessary work. Perhaps this nonsense is part of your value system (for example, seeking emotional comfort). Other reasons are possible, but you must name them to yourself HONESTLY and OPEN, you cannot lie to yourself.

2 Realizing your flaw, you must understand that it really is a flaw and that something needs to be done about it. To begin with, you can try to furnish everything as a game: why not play "useful business"? Take it, and stop doing nonsense, and instead try to do important work. There are many options for such games, this is also not included in the objectives of the article (however, one option will be just below the link).

3 Next, you need to gradually "grow up" step by step: change your value system, realize your life mission, your ideal, see that from the standpoint of these things, your reclining on the couch or watching TV shows is a deadly crime (before God), and build on the basis new values, a different system of ideas. Having developed the course of your changes (for which you will have to understand more deeply the structure of our reality), here you sit in the tractor and drive in the chosen direction. Such internal transformations in different people proceed in different ways (explanation for astrologers: in scorpions, I noticed, such transformations occur almost continuously and often very painfully), but their essence is the same: they all change morality. Changing your morality inevitably makes the form of procrastination and laziness that you fought against impossible for you, and instead of these ways of spending time, you will now have other ways.

The simplest example of the transition from the second to the third step in this scheme for the MOST lazy I offered in one of my articles in the "Voice": "A couple of techniques to combat serial addiction."

Summary

- there is no need to try to correct your shortcomings in the subconscious by an effort of will, it will only get worse;

- there is no need to try to solve the problem by a strong-willed effort without developing an alternative for the implementation of the resources freed up after the solution;

but you need to act differently:

- until the flaw is honestly RECOGNIZED by a person, it does not shine for him to resolve it, then the flaw must be RECOGNIZED and ACCEPTED (as it is);

- after recognition, one should realize the harmfulness of the flaw and clearly understand the need to get rid of it and replace it with an alternative;

- then it is necessary to develop an alternative and develop such an understanding of the life order in which the discovered deficiency does not manifest itself at all, therefore, it is not even necessary to struggle with it in the new system of values, it simply does not arise.

An attentive reader could undoubtedly see the catch in my article. Nowhere here I am talking about HOW to develop the correct control concept, HOW to understand that the tractor is going in the right direction. In fact, this is not an attentive reader, this is a reader who has poorly read (or did not read at all) the previous articles from this blog. At the time of publication of this article, there are only a little over two hundred articles in the blog … is it really that difficult? Especially when you consider that almost ALL of them indirectly answer exactly this question: where to go?

PS … I also recommend the film "The Voice of the Monster" (2016), which well explains the psychological moment associated with recognizing the situation to oneself and the consequences of attempts to push the need to acknowledge this situation into the subconscious.