Self-justification is a global brake on human development

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

One of the main obstacles to development is self-justification. It doesn't matter what development is for a person, the question is what he wants, but cannot get it. It can be beautiful girls, travel, and even a more comfortable life….

If you look at it, one of the main obstacles to development is self-justification. Moreover, it does not matter what development is for a person, the question is that he wants something, but cannot get it in any way. It can be beautiful girls, money, travel, and even a more comfortable life. If a person does not accept responsibility for everything that happens in his life, then, as a rule, he does not even begin to move towards the goal. He always expects that everything will come somehow by itself, endlessly postpones work for later, creates the illusion of work, concentrating on unimportant details. But it is even worse when a person is silent about his problems or lies that they are not. Often, the argument of dumping personal responsibility from oneself fits into one phrase: “others / another are to blame, but not me: I can’t do anything here at all, so I will continue to sit on a comfortable sofa”. This is when circumstances, other people, the state, health, talent, luck, God, fate, karma, dark forces, stars, some predictions and prophecies are to blame. Anything or anyone, but not the person himself.

What do you think is the reason for generating such complex fairy tales? A person is driven by an unconscious desire to do nothing, not even start working in principle, not make efforts, wait for a freebie or a magical solution to problems. This is a complete dependence of a person's actions on his emotions, and emotions indicate that in no case should you get up from the couch. And the worst thing is that a person believes one hundred percent in his self-justification. He is completely glued to his emotion and does not subject it to analysis. The mind is simply asleep, the prefrontal cortex is inactive. It is not a person who controls emotions, but emotions control a person. Any invented argument not to work is perceived as an excuse not to work and is not subject to the slightest doubt. If there is no money, it seems logical to try to make money in different ways, learn sales, increase professionalism and increase your value in the labor market. It is logical, it is logical, but most people have their minds turned off most of the time and they do not spend such reflections, but simply act on emotions. It seems to be worth getting off the couch and doing at least something to solve the problem, but no, the person comes up with an ingenious excuse and believes in it one hundred percent. For example, that bad karma is to blame, and the person, of course, will not even get off the couch, because it is stupid to work on solving problems with bad karma. Why does a person believe in this? To throw off responsibility from yourself, so as not to get up from the couch, so as not to exert force on solving problems. But the main thing is not to scold yourself for inaction, because the same karma is to blame, but not the person himself. Well, the emotional roots themselves, as elsewhere, go back to childhood. Do you remember I said that freedom is only between stimulus and reaction? It is in childhood that reactions to many stimuli are inherent.

Blaming external circumstances is still an active strategy, here a person at least admits that there is a problem, but there is a much worse strategy - silence and lies … I lied to my parents about the situation at school and there were no problems. I forgot that in old age you will need money and problems, as it were, not. A person learns to lie not only to others, but also to himself. Preferring not to admit that there is a problem, so as not to solve it in principle. It is better to forget about the problem than to act on its solution. But the whole point remains the same - a person does not want to take responsibility for himself, inventing something in order to throw off responsibility for what is happening in his life. By the way, how do you like throwing off responsibility on fate? That they say it's not destiny to make money and that's it. - I will not work, I have no talent - I'd rather drink with friends, I must relax. Someone throws off the responsibility for luck, that they say there is no luck and that's it, so it's better to surf the Internet. Some, it turns out, just have bad karma, so they will not even try to look for solutions to pressing problems. Someone does not have a girlfriend and sex, solely because the sexual chakra is not sufficiently pumped, and not at all because he does not even fit to meet girls. It is really easier for a person to believe that in the presence of problems, it is not his inaction that is to blame, but invented external factors. Stimulus-reaction, where is the mind, where is freedom? The fortuneteller guessed to someone that he was a creative person and he needed more rest. The purest water is unconditional guidance on the emotion of laziness, and logical justification is a kind of voice of the emotional center of the brain. Someone, in general, mystical spirits, in a shamanic frenzy, flew in and said that there was no need to work and solve problems - everything would come by itself, because it was destined to be so.

Esoteric things, the objectivity of which cannot be verified, is ideal for throwing off responsibility. A person can come up with a completely logical fairy tale based on very authoritative sources, which, for sure, explains that getting up from a comfortable sofa is absolutely impossible. But, what is most sad, a deep desire not to get up from a comfortable sofa makes him believe in this fairy tale with all his might, without subjecting it to at least some logical analysis. An incredible preponderance of emotions over reason. In many cases, the prefrontal cortex of the brain is so atrophied that a person does not think in front at all. Constantly stepping on the same rake. Constantly hurting himself and does not even think about it. Blind adherence to emotions: where the wind blew, we go there.

But there are even more sophisticated methods to throw off responsibility. Their sophistication lies in the fact that they border on scientific facts, only with the substitution of concepts in favor of inaction. This creates the illusion of action instead of actual work. For example, programming the subconscious: people seriously believe that something can be done there in the subconscious and the subconscious will go and make money on its own, for one thing it will attract some “cash flow and luck”. I found on the Internet a wonderful way to “attract money” - you just have to say the phrase “ I'm a money magnet! Money comes to me in different ways! I'm open to money! Money flows to me with joy! ”. Many people really believe that from this pronunciation, they will add the amount of money in their wallet. Work and study? -No, you what, I have not sufficiently programmed the subconscious mind for success and have not attracted cash flow. There are even books on how to program your subconscious mind for success so that you do nothing yourself. Moreover, the subconscious mind, indeed, affects any actions, but here there is a substitution of concepts and the discarding of responsibility: the subconscious mind itself will not go and will not work hard, the subconscious mind will not solve problems for a person. You can tune the subconscious, but you will have to work as much as without tuning the subconscious. And what really should be done with the subconscious is to remove programs that make you believe in complete nonsense, in order not to get up from the couch. It is worth picking out fears from the subconscious, limiting beliefs, programs that interfere with work. And then, just work, regardless of emotions and any external factors.

Another method of dumping responsibility is to postpone the actual work for later. Everything later: after graduation, after graduation from university, when there is an opportunity when the stars will converge in a certain way and will favor - then yes, but for now, no, I will sit on a comfortable sofa. And you really want to believe with all your heart that then, for sure, and now is not the time. But who are they kidding? It's a very good idea to keep track of the dumping of responsibility and deliberately catch your excuses. Everyone has them. They are like fucking cockroaches: until you catch your cockroach, it is not recognized and it seems to be not there. And it is not realized, which means there is a chance to automatically believe self-justification, and not for your own reasonable choice. Excuses work on you until you realize and track them. As soon as you realize that some statement is a lie, self-deception, throwing off responsibility, you can write it down on a piece of paper and the next time you will logically understand that this is an excuse - your conscious choice will turn on. Well, the main way out of all this variety of self-justifications is simply to set goals and go to work, believing by default that in general all arguments to stop working are self-justifications. By the way, even if it didn't work out and you want to stop working, this is also a self-justification, but this is more to the question of willpower.

If you delve even deeper into the mechanism of self-justification, you will notice that a person is inclined to justify absolutely any of his behavior. Whatever a person does, he will always come up with a reason why it was right to do it. The emotional center will come up with a very logical and correct argument. A very good example of a girl here. If a guy failed to get sex with a girl, then the girl will come up with a reason why he is not worthy of sex and, in general, a fool. If the guy is stubborn and he managed to evoke the emotion of excitement in the girl, and then get sex, then the girl will come up with a reason why he was worthy of sex and, in general, a cool guy. Paradox? The guy is the same, only the mechanisms of the brain justify any behavior. A person will always find a justification for absolutely any action: both positive and negative. Even the maniac “Chikatilo” at the trial convinced that he didn’t just kill people, but he had a good purpose. Any robber, likewise, has an excuse for why he is robbing people and why he is doing it well. It’s like that he robs to feed his family, that he robs only bad people, that he donates part of what he has stolen to charity. Nobody will say: “I am a fool and do stupid things on emotions” - everyone will say the reason why this behavior is the most correct, and they are real fellows.

This is very noticeable in dependent people. There is addiction and the emotional center creates pressure to receive a dose of the hormones of joy once again, and the center of the mind is suppressed by a logical argument why it is worth going on about the emotion. Look how zealously alcoholics, drug addicts, Internet addicts justify themselves. Everyone has a very good reason to behave this way. Stimulus-reaction and there is no reason here, the conscious choice is disabled and the person is a slave to the emotion to receive the next dose. The manifestation of the mechanism of self-justification can be seen everywhere. For example, at work: if a person did not do something on time, he always has a reason why he did not do something on time. Units can accept personal responsibility and admit that they themselves have created problems, they themselves did not do something on time, they themselves missed the chance, they themselves made a mistake. But what is most important, after this recognition, there may already be a willingness to fix everything. When there is no unconditional faith in the mechanism of self-justification, then the center of the mind turns on and the person already has freedom of action.

It is worth understanding that the mechanism of self-justification is in me, and in you, and, in general, in everyone you know. And it is this very same mechanism that can create an insurmountable wall on the path to success, because the brain will generate a completely logical reason why you should not get up from the comfortable couch in order to work long and hard. But realizing that any arguments for committing ineffective acts or inaction can be a mechanism of self-justification, you can not believe your own arguments and just go to work, putting common sense above the mechanism of self-justification. Willpower is just the tool that can “break through” any arguments of the emotional center. Particular attention should be paid to the arguments to feel sorry for yourself, to work less, to postpone work until later, to immediately fold at the first difficulties. So that in the gym, God forbid, do not get tired, so that you do not overwork at work, so that when seduced, God forbid you do not overwork. The mechanism of self-justification cannot be led, it will always argue why it is not worth working, why it is not worth fighting to the last in order to get the coveted result.

Let's summarize the standard arguments for putting the mind to sleep with emotion. Types of self-justification:

1. Advertise your weakness in front of something or someone. A person, as it were, is so helpless in the face of evil circumstances and difficulties that he will not even get up from a comfortable sofa

2. Blaming something / someone for what is happening in his life. A person, as it were, is happy to work, but evil circumstances are to blame for the fact that he cannot get up from the couch in any way. And, as if, it’s even silly to get up from the couch

3. Silence, forgetting of problems and lies. A person deliberately hides the problem, tries to forget it. Deceives himself and others that everything is fine

4. Procrastination. A person is guaranteed to be ready to work, but only then: certain events must come and, only then, he is ready to get off the couch. Instead of actual work, a person, as it were, endlessly prepares for it

5. Illusion of work / improvement / search for a "magic pill". A person creates for himself the illusion of action, instead of actual work, where efforts must be made. It pumps the subconscious mind, chakras, thinks over and brings to the ideal a plan of action, looks for magical ways to solve problems, always consults with other people. Instead of effective actions, all attention is paid to small things and things where you do not need to strain

Let's take a look at a few examples of self-relieving self-responsibility.

Exercise on personal responsibility:

Taking responsibility for your life motivates you to turn on your prefrontal cortex. This is the first step towards making smart choices. There is a great exercise on how to train personal responsibility - always keep your word. He said and did. If you are in doubt about what you will do, don’t say, don’t promise. He said I'll come at exactly 7 for the meeting, come exactly at 7. He said you will make a project, do it and provide evidence. Said you will call back - call back. He said and did, everywhere and in everything: in general, everywhere and in general in everything. Once I didn’t do it - I lost complete trust, twice I didn’t - I lost trust at all. The training process itself consists in tracking the moment when you begin to feel sorry for yourself and justify yourself. Nobody will say the phrase “I have lost confidence in you”, just a red light will flash in my head: “The person is unreliable, he can let you down”. But if you always keep your word, people will perceive you as a very reliable person, and there are few such people. To whom would you entrust a large sum of money or an important position, not someone who always did what he said? Trust, in general, is one-off and the one who keeps his word is worth its weight in gold, because the majority of the population are idle talkers. Keeping your word is also a training of willpower, because sometimes it will be difficult to do what you promised: it is always easy to chat, and difficult to do. And it will also teach you to adequately assess your capabilities, to be honest with yourself and others. Honesty can even consist in admitting that a person is not working and making excuses. This is the activation of the mind center in the brain. It's a good idea to make yourself a “said-did” reminder and make it your life motto.

The path to prosperity can begin with the understanding that in everything that happens in your life, only you are personally responsible and in order to bring the matter to the end, you need to work hard. Make conscious choices rather than act on the basis of emotions. Even if you were set up, deceived, even if everyone is against you, even if something does not work out, even if everything is wrong, accept the thought: “I did something wrong and only I can fix the situation - I’ll go and I will start to solve the issue differently”. Make it a rule to always take responsibility for yourself and this is what will give you the opportunity to resolve issues and achieve goals. Make it a rule that you will either take a leap forward and defeat the emotion of self-pity, or you will lose. And the main way out of all this variety of “cockroaches in the head” is simply to set goals and go to work, by default believing that in general all arguments to stop working are self-justifications.

I recently finished a book and this article is part of this book. I can't decide on the name, can you help? I have already come up with several options, please choose which one you like best, or suggest your own option in the comments. Thank you in advance, for half a year now I've been puzzling over which name to choose:)

There are two criteria:

1 The book is easy to recommend to friends. Have you read the book "…."? Read it.