Fairytale therapy as a unique language of communication with a child

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

What are fairy tales? Magical tales of princes and princesses from fairytale kingdoms? Yes and no. In fact, fairy tales can do a lot, their potential is enormous: they can simply interest a child, put him to sleep at night, encourage him to change, produce an educational effect, and even solve some psychological problem.

Stories, fairy tales and the inner world of a child are inseparable from each other. In any society, children's stories draw a large audience of young listeners. There are good reasons for this.

If we, adults, want to acquire some knowledge, we have many ways and channels for this. Internet, books, in the end, you can consult with a specialist in this field, get information from newspaper and magazine articles, listen to lectures, take part in seminars. Finally, talk to friends and exchange information and thoughts. Children, especially small ones, cannot gain knowledge in the same ways, and yet the problems that occupy them are no less important. How can we help them acquire knowledge?

And there is such a way - through games and imagination. The game "throw the rattle" introduces babies to the law of gravity. Other games teach transformation and make kids feel like a mom, dad, or a ferocious wild tiger. Imaginary doubles provide an opportunity to probe feelings and explore various possible options.

For a child, the world appears new and unknown. It needs to be investigated, discovered, studied, mastered. Fortunately, children are born with an irresistible urge to learn. See how persistently, with what persistence the baby learns to walk. He struggles to get to his feet and falls face down, tries to get up again and falls again, and so on until he learns. It is unlikely that Edmund Hillary showed more perseverance and determination in the conquest of Everest.

Another example: notice how the infant persistently throws his favorite toy over the side of the crib. His curiosity and desire to learn more about the laws of the world around him are so great that he is ready to risk the loss of his precious "property".

Remember that a child learns through play and imagination. Play is a way of acquiring adult skills. Children's play, in essence, can be equated with work and study.

If you watch the children play, you will notice that a lot of this game is based on imitation. They imitate mothers and fathers, older brothers and sisters, TV heroes, etc. This imitative behavior is entirely justified. Most of the skills needed in the life of a modern person are much more complex than instincts, and they are acquired through imitation. Children watch someone and then do the same.

Research has shown that when children are presented with two role models - one “successful” with a positive outcome and the other unsuccessful - they prefer the former. It is this very moment that is taken into account in many therapeutic fairy tales - unobtrusively in a fairy-tale-magical canvas, they offer a positive example of behavior, and it is not surprising that the child will behave in the same way as his favorite fairy-tale hero.

As adults, we should remember that if we want to teach a child something or convey some important idea to him, we need to do it so that it is recognizable, digestible and understandable. If we want to explain something difficult to a Frenchman, then, of course, we will succeed more if we speak French. When communicating with children, try to speak to them in a language that they understand and to which they respond best - in the language of children's fantasy and imagination.

Stories, especially fairy tales, have always been the most effective means of communicating with children. Fairy tales have been passed down and are passed down from generation to generation for centuries and are reflected in the cultures of different nations. In fairy tales, problems that are important for children's perception of the world are raised. Cinderella, for example, talks about rivalry between sisters. "A Boy with a Thumb" tells about the defenselessness of a little hero who finds himself in a world where everything is suppressed by its size, scale and power. In fairy tales, good and evil, altruism and greed, courage and cowardice, mercy and cruelty, stubbornness and cowardice are opposed. They tell the child that the world is a very complex thing, that there is a lot of injustice in it, that fear, regret and despair are as much a part of our being as joy, optimism and confidence. But the most important thing is that they tell the child that if a person does not give up, even when the situation seems hopeless, if he does not change his moral principles, although temptation beckons him at every step, he will eventually win.

Listening to these stories and fairy tales, children involuntarily find in them echoes of their own life. They strive to use the example of a positive hero in dealing with their fears and problems. In addition, stories and stories give the child hope, which is extremely important. A child deprived of hope or having lost it abandons the struggle and will never succeed.

What is special about therapeutic fairy tales? These tales are purposeful - each of them carries a solution to a problem. With the atmosphere, intonation, content, positive mood, fairy tales help the child find ways and means of understanding and resolving their difficulties and conflicts. After all, many children feel guilty or embarrassed about their fears. It is difficult for them to speak openly about them. Often, when you start a direct conversation with children about this topic, they immediately become isolated and leave the conversation. Hearing a story is another matter entirely. In this case, the children are not given instructions, they are not accused or forced to talk about their difficulties and problems - they just listen to a fairy tale. Nothing prevents them from listening, learning something new, comparing something, comparing without any unpleasant psychological consequences. This means that they can reflect on what they hear in a psychologically comfortable environment. By changing the context, you create a security zone. Such tales allow the child to feel that he is not alone in his fears and worries, that other children or his favorite fairy-tale characters experience the same. It has a calming effect. The child gets rid of the inferiority complex, he no longer considers himself a stupid, mischievous or cowardly, etc. This calmness builds his self-confidence and helps him cope with difficulties.

Indirectly, you can easily find out what worries your child. After all, talking with a child about his worries and problems sometimes resembles an interrogation in a prisoner of war camp: the name, military rank and registration number are all that you manage to find out. But the same child can become surprisingly open when he talks about what worries and disturbs the fairytale hero. And if you are not sure what exactly is the cause of your child's anxiety, ask what fairy tale (or rather, what) he would like to hear from you.

The way of communicating through a fairy tale is also valuable because in this case, in learning new things, the child feels to a certain extent independent. He can spend as much time as he needs to assimilate the content of the story and grasp its idea. He can listen to a fairy tale over and over again and focus on what is especially important for him at the moment - nothing is forced upon him. And, most importantly, everything new that he learns is perceived by him as his own achievement, as a result of independent efforts. If he wants to overcome fear, as the hero of a fairy tale does, he does so because he decided to do it himself, and not because his mother said so. Thus, the child gets the opportunity to experience a sense of his own worth, his ability to weigh the situation and make decisions on his own.

The healing effect of fairy tales on children is recognized by doctors of various schools and beliefs. Their use is recommended by psychoanalytic and behavioral therapy specialists.

You can easily compose such tales yourself, or you can use ready-made ones - there are a lot of them. Read the tales of Dmitry Sokolov, Doris Brett "Once upon a time there was a girl like you …" and others, or compose such tales yourself - everything is in your hands, and the fairy-tale hero created by your imagination will lead your kid into a bright, interesting adult life.