Toha Ha: Psychiologists vs TV Viewers

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Part 1 "Semyonich"

Recently, a partner said a phrase that, in my opinion, can be made the motto of all viewers. Semyonich (I already told you about him), as usual at lunchtime, took out his black and white treasure from the cabinet and put it on the table - a small portable TV.

“Where did you get him out of the nineteenth century?” - I joked, brushing the dust off the rarity thing.

Grandfather's wrinkled face stretched out in offense, apparently, he was preparing to answer me with some particularly well-aimed taunt. He even opened his toothless mouth, but just at that moment music began to play alarmingly from his drawer and the twelve o'clock news began with a list of remnants of troubles and cataclysms that had somehow already happened on the earth's ball on this sunny, fine morning. It was then that my partner in the hearts and blurted out:

- On TV, one nonsense, make it louder! I involuntarily smiled at the logic of this phrase and added a sound for the deaf Semyonovich, who eagerly stared at the small screen, like a fortune-teller at a magic ball.

- Why are you looking then, if you yourself say that they are lying? - I asked in bewilderment.

- Manny can be, man does not take yih nonsense. It's you young people who are greedy for gossip. So the TV set zombies you. And you can't fool me! I figured them out a long time ago. Therefore, I can look calmly.

It was strange to hear these words from a person who always had the same concrete argument for all my arguments: "TOLD ON TELEVISION!" … For Semyonich, this was both an axiom, a holy truth, and an ultimate truth.

• “… Well, you’re telling me here! They said on TV, shored is good for the heart, and cognac is for blood vessels, and pyvo … pyvo is generally good for everything."
• "… A on TV they said shodoing sports is harmful"
• "… A on TV they said shovegetarians, the sect"
• "… A on TV they said shothen the Muscovites attacked"

Whatever I said to Semyonich, it was said on TV exactly the opposite, as if I was arguing not with a stubborn grandfather, but with the black-and-white picture tube of his own TV.

“There are pieces in the main house of yikh chotyry…” the old man boasted. I knew that he loved to drag from the trash and fix all kinds of junk. The number of televisions for him was something of a symbol of wealth. “… In every room, in the kitchen, and one at the walk-through,” he went on contentedly, “I never turn them off. Even for a draw. For a long time now I can’t fall asleep without their boo-boo-boo … Vaughn puts me to sleep.

- How can you sleep ?! - I was surprised.

- In the evenings, there are usually some criminal programs, where they constantly rob, rape and kill …

- Well, sho zrobysh, we do not show another. Such is the life in us now.

- That's why life is such that people see enough of such programs and begin to do all this themselves.

- But I don’t! No one has yet, thank God, killed, robbed … he-he-he and not raped, - Semyonich laughed victoriously. - On TV they said that TV does not affect human behavior. Yaksho lyudyna tvaryuka, it’s not because he’s watching TV. The face of the old man at that moment became instructive, like that of an enlightened sage surrounded by silly little students.

- Previously, they did not show crime - and there was no such lawlessness, - I objected.

- That bulo vono take before, only not showing off, - the grandfather waved his hand and clicked the switch. The disgusting voice of the commentator mumbled loudly throughout the room. Semyonich's face also seemed to switch and instantly acquired an interested look. - Better let the sport take hold, here at least they don’t betray and show a healthy lifestyle - everything is like you love.

On the screen, someone was desperately hitting their face. The overwhelming tone of the announcer then slowed down, then accelerated to the speed of light, then suddenly fell silent, then again yelled at the top of his lungs. “And the sponsor of our program, - he cheerfully managed to insert words between the hail of blows, - vodka“Sportsman”- hrya! -, the network of sports bars "Incurable fan" - hrya! -, hangover remedy "Total Recall" - hryas! -, "Lobotryaz forte" - and no problems with women - whack! - "Put a hut" tote - the most profitable sports bets! While the athletes get kicked in the face, you get money! " Boar, bob, bob …

And while sweeping echoing blows flew into the boxers' heads, sweeping echoing thoughts began to fly into my head. I thought: I wonder what would happen if watching TV was also a sport? HM… I introduced these powerful couch athletes in sports shorts and leaky T-shirts with traces of chips from fries … Honestly, I sometimes admire some viewers! These are people with strong nerves, pumped up thumb and incredibly flat, wide-inch brains. Professional advice givers, ruthless critics of everything and unrecognized indoor geniuses of humanity. They know best how to kick the ball and run the country. They are experts in all areas and walks of life, from ice dancing to the choice of mayonnaise. They have witnessed so many events! They don't care. They watch talk shows and TV shows that do not brainwash them in the least.

Stupid corporations churn out billions of dollars in advertising that doesn't affect them at all. They have two hundred channels that are created just to entertain them. These are people with superhuman willpower. They do not believe the deceivers, whom they watch every day and ask to make "louder". They do not accept the vulgarity and cruelty that they watch every day and ask to make it "louder". They condemn the bastards who are watched every day and asked to make "louder". They hate advertising, crime, glamor, drugs and homosexuals, who are watched for years every single day on all TV channels in the country. Louder and louder. These are people with a steel core and their own opinions. Smoking, being poisoned with alcohol, taking loans, stuffing a brand on the skin - this is completely their personal, conscious choice. And don't argue: they know everything better than you, because they are in the know around the clock. These are real formidable and pompous fighters in slippers, but there is one small, small but …

A question arises: who, then, are their opponents in this telecompetition? But none of our valiant warriors knows this. They are all so cool and self-confident, for only one reason: none of them realize who they are dealing with. on the other side of the screen … I continued to ponder, looking with peripheral vision at the battle.

My partner could no longer see anything in front of him and enthusiastically waved his fists through the air:

- So yogo, so! Angry, she's wrong! Sho are you a robish! Overlap the trebo!

Semyonich, of course, like any other viewer, knew better than the athlete and his coach how and where to hit. And I kept thinking: while we are clever and throw useless advice on the screen, at this very time there are many such battles that people do not even know about, but every day they themselves enter the ring with invisibility. Whether we can compete with rivals about whom we sometimes do not know anything … How careless it is when a person without psychological education and basic knowledge of information turns on the TV and faces hundreds of qualified brainwashing specialists, hypnotists and magicians of consciousness, but that's all equally - I looked at the diverging Semyonich - stubbornly considers himself smarter and higher than them.

Hey guys! Don't you think that you and your opponent have completely different weight classes? It's like a battle between Mike Tyson and a schoolboy, only hundreds of times harder and a thousand times more terrible in the consequences, because we feel physical blows instantly and instantly react to them, our body is injured from them, and the psychological blows from which the soul is injured, we immediately and we do not notice. We sometimes feel them when it's too late.

I have written many times about psychiologists - manipulative psychologists and their influence on our society. And since the viewers do not know who is in front of them, according to the old tradition, I tried to present this figuratively and in all details, because, knowing the goals and doctrines of psychologists, this will be no less a battle for our future and the right to live on Earth. Get ready for a real deadly battle …

Part 2 "In the ring"

- Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble! - In the square screen of the ring, a gray-haired, taut entertainer in a melodious voice greets the audience and introduces the fighters, - in the left corner - a professional psychologist from the United States, winner of the gold cup of public relations specialist, transcontinental champion of mass persuasion, international master of sports in manipulating subconscious feelings and impulses, the teacher of Goebbels himself, please meet: Edvaaaaaaaaaaaaard Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeees !!!

And in the right corner of the ring is a seventh-grader Russian boy Vanya Novodumtsev, a student of secondary school №23. Winner of the top five in physical education!

Speaker (in a nasty, depressing voice): Vanya has just returned from school and the first thing he does is looking for the TV remote control with his eyes: the guy can't wait to fight. Well, as they say, "dementia and courage!" We wish Vanyusha good luck. The audience applauds his self-confidence. As we can see, the boy is very brave and believes that television cannot influence him in any way and that there are no psychologists, ha-ha-ha, of course, at all.

And psychiologist Edward Bernays, the founder of Consent Engineering, who has worked with US presidents and companies such as Procter & Gamble, General Motors, American Tobacco Company, and General Electric, believes that "Modern television has great propaganda potential and is an excellent vehicle for the dissemination of ideas and views."

What different styles both fighters have! Ivan believes that television reflects reality. Bernays, nicknamed the "Father of American Propaganda", is convinced that television, on the contrary, does not reflect, but creates reality, and it certainly cannot be compared to a harmless mirror. Ivan believes that he watches Russian channels and programs. And CIA agent Bernays knows that after the liquidation of the Soviet Union, in which he took an active part, all the TV channels of the former USSR passed into the hands of Western corporations. Ivan trusts the news. Bernays, who taught people to take out loans, believes news is the best advertisement. Ivan thinks watching TV is fun and relaxation. Bernays, who taught women to smoke, knows very well how the human brain works and that under the influence of information coming into it, it constantly learns what it sees and hears.

The naive Ivan is convinced that in his home he is safe and master of the situation. Sly Bernays: “A person is a social being, he feels like a part of the herd, even when he sits alone in an empty curtained room. His consciousness retains the templates imprinted there by the influence of the group. " Ivan is sure that all his actions are his own conscious choice. Bernays: “People rarely realize the real reasons for their actions. To a great extent, we are controlled, our thinking is manipulated, our tastes are shaped, our ideas are put into our heads by people we have never heard of. " I wonder whose logic and strategy will win this battle? What a thrilling battle awaits us, my friends! And then the TV turns on, a gong is heard. Boxing!!!

1 round

From the very beginning, Vanya boldly goes forward and repeatedly strikes the remote control button, he constantly moves around the ring and does not allow the psychiologist to fall on his own. We see how cleverly he gets away from soap operas, low-quality talk shows, show business news, well, what can we say: his reaction speed is excellent. Was Bernays the first time in his career to face a worthy opponent? But then Vanya gets on the "Real Boys" and stops for a second, and what we see: Edward immediately approaches and stabs him in the head! More and more, but there are whole series, I would even say - whole seasons of blows to the head … It seems Vanya is shocked, he let go of the remote control! Will the victory of the psychiologist be so quick ?! Vulgarity, stupidity, immoral behavior - everything hits the boy's head with powerful jabs. But the guy does not give up and continues the fight on strong-willed, wincing from the missed blows on the conscience. Yes, Vanya has obvious problems with defense, our athlete absolutely does not use the block and takes all the attacks of the American with his head. It remains to be hoped that the fighter from Russia will hold out until the end of the round. The last seconds: ignorance prevails, Vanya clings to the ropes, and … We hear the saving gong for the advertisement!

And while Ivan in the corner of the ring comes to his senses from what he saw, sits on a chair, looks at sneakers, wedges and remedies for impotence - in the corner of psychiologists, his close-knit team of professional advertising marketers and cybernetics of consciousness comes to the aid of Bernays.

Here is the manager for the introduction of the cult of self-poisoning with alcoholic poisons, he spent 40 years studying the habits and emotions of people. Here is an expert in promoting the consumer lifestyle, having completed all kinds of courses, from manipulating the mass consciousness to micromimics of the face. Here is an expert in creating a positive perception of events and lightening negative images, with a perfect knowledge of crowd psychology and specialties in the field of brain and reflexes. And here is a whole department for the imposition of immoral and licentious behavior, working in the realm of the subconscious and instincts.

Psychiologists are in a hurry: they need to do a lot in five minutes of commercials, because they work for large food, pharmaceutical, alcoholic, financial and other corporations. These are multibillionaires who graduated with honors from Harvard, Oxford, Tavistock, Cambridge, Yale and other universities. And to help the viewer Vanya comes his younger brother Tolik, who recently graduated from the 4th "B". It seems that after the first round, our athlete's psyche is traumatized: with the voice of Kolyan from the TV series, Ivan tells the little guy that he is now a real kid, and gives him a slap on the head. But Tolik is not lost: with a sharp deceitful movement, he snatches the remote control from the hands of his crazy brother and switches the channel to cartoons. Gong!

Round 2

And a real massacre ensues in the ring! Cruelty, aggression, blood, guts … - and this is only the beginning of the second round and the animated series about alien monsters. The psychologist completely owns the course of the battle: in a free manner, with one left, he disassembles and reassembles the consciousness of children, without encountering any serious resistance - the second three minutes is entirely behind Edward Bernays. During a break for advertising, a friendly council again converges with psychiologists, and in the corner of Vanya there is a small scuffle, as a result of which the remote control is again in the hands of his older brother. Well, let's see if this will help our team change the course of the fight.

Round 3

A sickening stench spreads across the ring, fidgety slutty girls appear from the stinking fog, the ugly sound of an artificial drum and the drunken addict voice of some painted rapper is heard, which means that the fight is transferred to the MUZ-TV channel. And we see all the same: Bernays with each "song" inflicts accented blows on the conscience of our athletes. Group "Leningrad" - a blow to the liver! Oksimiron and Yegor Creed - two in the head! "A glass of vodka on the table", "The color of the mood is blue", "Alcoholic" - and again blows to the liver. Aljay, Bilan, Timati - and again blows to the head … It is simply impossible to look at it, this is a real beating.

Round 4 …

The brothers change tactics and turn on the Comedy Club. A desperate attempt turns into new devastating attacks from psychiologists. It remains only to be surprised at the resilience of our guys: stupidity, vulgarity, obscenities - a whole bucket of slops is poured onto their unfortunate children's heads, and they only laugh in response to Bernays. What a humiliation … Scenes with vodka, drugs, cattle, homosexuals, acts that offend women, ridicule the Motherland, history, war heroes … The fighters from Russia are very tired, but the American athlete does not seem at all tired and endlessly, again and again makes promises, ideas, views, imposes fashions, behaviors and lifestyles. Time flies by 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… With each round, the outcome of the fight becomes obvious. We must admit: while we are losing this battle in one wicket. How many TV viewers beaten by psychiologists we see every day on the streets of our cities! How many traces of degradation they left on their faces, how much damage they caused to the psyche and health, how many traumatized lives and destinies! Apparently, these guys do not have a chance to realize themselves and become bright personalities.

The fight begins to be quite dramatic: children swear, sing songs about "chicks and drugs", praise everything foreign and despise domestic. Vanya showed his brother where he would get his first tattoo, he no longer wants to be a teacher, Tolik does not want to be a doctor - children want to become real boys, not losers, who are laughing at in every film. Psychologists have stolen their dreams, all these guys now dream of is money, clothes, clubs and trendy hangouts to be as cool as on TV.

Round 10

Everything seems to be lost, but … It can't be! The guys' mother appears in the ring - Svetlana Valerievna! She has just returned from work and is taking the initiative into her own hands: with a powerful grip, she takes the remote control from the TV and sends the children to learn their lessons, and Edward Bernays to the canvas. This is KNOCKDOWN, my friends !!! What a hard blow to psychiologists, the console counts down: channel one, channel two, channel three, channel four …

But what we see: "Fashion Sentence" stops the winning countdown, Bernays slowly rises from the floor, he is back in the game and incredibly angry! In his eyes there is a terrible rage, he dreams of immediately getting even and with all his looks shows that his revenge will be terrible! And right there on the screen of the ring in front of Svetlana Valerievna's eyes, a bright festive kaleidoscope, bewitchingly flashed the bait of colored blouses and dresses. With deceitful tricks, the psychologist convinces the woman that the program was made to help all the old-fashioned scarecrows become normal people again. Very noble of them, but what is it! Can not be!!!

The main character, a worthless teacher from Syzran, has the same blouse as hers! With a hidden technique, the psychiologist hurts Svetlana's pride painfully. After all, as it turns out during the program, her sweater is completely unstable, her favorite color is generally from the last century, and the comfortable shoes she wears are a sign of bad taste. My God, she's been living wrong all her life! “What only people around me think about me! I'm a real stuffed animal! " The mood is completely ruined. And here is the final exit! The TV viewer cries: her small salary will never be enough for this pompous hat with feathers, Gucci glasses all over her face in the shape of hearts and branded poisonous yellow boots with a twenty-centimeter platform … The jury rages, enthusiastically applauding the newfangled elementary school teacher. And in the house of the Novodumtsevs, the situation is escalating even more, and now Svetlana Valerievna's anger is transferred to her husband - "a pitiful engineer with a miserable salary … well, I'll make him a big scandal today!" On the screen, as luck would have it, glamorous faces of dressed up ladies-experts are full of … Edward Bernays is jubilant, it seems that he completely recouped and took revenge on our athlete for the missed hit.

Round 11

And the psychologist is again in the lead. He hits, again and again touching the feelings of the viewer, she furiously waves her hands at the screen - but everything is in the air. Having barely withstood the pressure and pressure of the programs "Let's Get Married", "Let Them Talk" and "Evening News Release", Svetlana Valerievna plunged into the imposed black world of negativity, gossip, bazaar showdowns, marginal personalities and unsettled destinies … She is completely broken. What a terrible country she lives in! My God, what's going on! All around chaos and rise in price! The woman is completely depressed, but she urgently needs to pull herself together: there is another championship final round ahead, in which everything will be decided!

12 last round

What an alarming moment: Russia's future is at stake! And now the head of the family finally appears in the ring. Pavel Yurievich Novodumtsev. The man has just come home from work and is very tired.

Edward Bernays stands up, looking menacing and merciless. Psychiologists will now give their best, they will use their entire combat arsenal in prime time: football, TV series about cops, political talk shows, anecdotes, striptease, films, murders, detectives, scandals, intrigues, investigations - “everything is at your service, - says Bernays, inviting the opponent with a gesture, - your move, choose. I have a thousand ways to blind, stun, shut up, inflict an invisible blow, fool, destroy, break and leave me with nothing. You are on my field, wherever you turn it on - your game is lost in advance! Let's! Attack! So what are you waiting for?! And you and I see that Pavel Yuryevich accepts the challenge and with a confident movement picks up the remote control - what a dangerous moment! The psychiologist swings ready to deliver the last crushing blow, it seems that he put all his strength into it and … Wow !!! The TV is switched off with a precise quick counter strike on the “off” button. As the decimated Bernays falls to the canvas. The lights go out in Edward's eyes - it's a deaf knockout! Victory!!!!!!!! What an interesting unpredictable fight it turned out, my friends! This is the denouement! No cunning tricks, billions of dollars, corrupt officials and purchased judges helped the opponents in this battle! It seems that the winner wants to make a speech, he gathers the whole family around him.

- Well, - the newly-made champion sighs, - lessons are not learned, dinner is not ready … What's the matter with you? Children do not want to study, only deuces and remarks … The house is dirty. We have long ceased to communicate, read, think: we spend all our free time on degradation. Every day it gets worse and worse. I got a little distracted and lost control, we are no longer a family - we have turned into those very unpleasant participants in the cattle show, who themselves have watched all these years. Screams, scandals, ignorance, disobedience, whims, bad behavior, consumerism and indifference. This cannot continue. I myself am largely to blame, but now it's time to fix everything. The TV has become a source of big trouble, and you know what I decided? I'll take it to the trash today.

I understand that this will not completely protect us from enemy information terror, but it will deal a tangible blow to the enemy. We live in the world of the Internet, and I am well aware that it is not easy to hide from psychiologists, but! Today a colleague showed me a fascinating lecture about the influence of information on a person and its conscious perception. We cannot leave this ring, but we can learn to fight and smash the enemy on his field. We use his power against himself.

From now on, we will train, and not obediently receive blows from manipulators. We are not whipping boys, we are the children of the winners! We will study the enemy, build tactics, block attacks and deliver our own blows. Today I signed up for one good group, and every evening, instead of dull gaze on TV shows, we will watch reviews and articles, teach lessons together, and on weekends we will arrange literary readings, watch old good films on the computer and joint trips to nature, remember how when a long time ago, when we were not yet TV viewers, but a real family …

Toha Ha

Additional materials on the topic:

The story "Beyond the Screen"

And then the light goes out. The audience is in anticipation. Somewhere in the dark on the other side of the screen, a nurse neatly lays out tools on the table, an experienced psychologist slowly puts on gloves and a mask. This time the DOCTOR is at work. Get ready, now he will dissect your consciousness. - What do we have today? The psychiologist asked in the cold, even voice of a dead man. The screen saver of the film company appears, the solemn music sounds. The screen lightly illuminates the gloomy basement of the operating room, the light falls on the surgical table, acting as an operating lamp. - Fighter, - without being distracted from work, answered my sister.- How much time do we have? - About two hours. - Fine. - In the glass, not blinking eyes of the psychologist, barely noticeable lights lit up. He fumbled in the pocket of his oversized robe for a bunch of keys. - Establishing a connection. Ten cubes of abomination …

Story "Spectator No. 53"

- Tell me, how long has the film been on? Sergei did not answer, struggling to focus on robbing another bank. But Richard's persistent gaze did not allow him to calmly look at the hostage taking. “I don’t know, maybe… about ten minutes,” the young man answered irritably, surrendering under the weight of those fixed eyes. - How many people managed to die during this time? Sergei tensed, taken by surprise. He was confused not so much by this stupid question as by the fact that he really does not know the answer. - Three … no, four … A, and even that ebony. Five. - Seventeen. - Oh well … - Have you ever seen the people who were shot?