Who Shaved the First Popes?

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Humanity has always paid a lot of attention to hygiene issues. A disdainful attitude towards unclean nations is always understandable and does not cause condemnation. You need to wash yourself, gentlemen, regularly, because a fresh smell from the body speaks of its health.

In general, the history of washing speaks volumes. that the peoples of the world treated this ritual with sacred awe. In the end, human life begins in water in the womb and water accompanies us throughout our life. How not to remember here, a Russian bath or the baptism of Rus in the waters of the Dnieper, summer bathing, fragrant bath procedures.

Hygiene is diverse. Just remember the announcements of pre-revolutionary Russian newspapers:

- Nega and hola nails!

- Intimate massage at home with a ride on your own pair of horses to the client!

- Bleeding your degree!

- Madame Babarykina - evening heels tickling!

A-ha-ha-ha !!! What the old newspapers did not write then. You are amazed at the naivety (?) Of our great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers. For example, my ancestors, the landowners of the Porkhovsky district, for the purpose of bath hygiene, to procure birch brooms, sent the courtyard exclusively on Peter's day. It was believed that during its term, birch holds the leaf best of all, and has exceptional "usefulness" in striking the secret places of the master.

The birch branches taken on Peter's day make the man younger, and I, following the traditions of my ancestors, confirm this axiom. Especially if you hit with a steamed broom, but right under the tail, tortured on the sauna shelf. I think that among the men reading this miniature there will be those who received this "indescribable" pleasure.

Oh my God! How our ladies do not smear their faces !!!! Sometimes the language does not dare to describe this pile that the modern Burenka puts on her beautiful face! Chastity is off the charts!

And yet, for the most part, hygiene is a pleasant thing. No wonder we pay so much attention to her.

But there are some procedures that I personally don't like very much. Here's about one of them and how she helped me discover the lies of the Vatican falsifiers of history and will be discussed.

But first, I will present you with a note from the Internet, which personally led me to Homeric laughter. That's really really according to Pushkin: “Oh, how many difficult mistakes we have, the spirit prepares enlightenment! And experience is the son of difficult mistakes! And a genius, a friend of paradoxes! However, read it yourself. I left everything as it is.

ENTHUSIASTIC VELOCITY.

smitrich - 2010-10-01 Still, the question continues to torment me - why do drunken people grow stubble on their faces faster?

Even against the background of moderate but regular use, one has to shave one and a half to two times more often.

And vice versa. For a week now I have not been drinking at all and the result is obvious.

What kind of chemical processes are they?

About three years ago I already asked about this here, but then I had fewer friends and I did not receive an intelligible answer. Everyone was joking in the sense that a drunk just doesn't notice the time. But my further experiments once again confirmed that the perception of time has nothing to do with it. The bristles objectively grow in different ways.

What's the matter? A?"

It looks like the author of the question has no problem with the stubble! And not even in a liver planted forever! Here a psychiatrist-narcologist is needed!

So, we're talking about shaving your beard.

Let me tell you right away, reader. Oh, and I do not like this business! But I am forced, like many, from men! It is especially hard for married people! A woman's face, exhausted by lapping, perceives only the smooth-shaven skin of a partner. The familiar expression "like a child's bottom" is the highest quality shave certification. Here behind this, and "march in formation !!!", men, for an evening shave.

The mustache is still, as it were, tolerant, with a nettle seed, but nowadays you can hardly find bearded ones. Rarely do you find nowadays a "creeping" native appearance with an unkempt piebald broom.

A barber, a barber, a master, a stupid artist (by the way, the famous military harness is from here), a hairdresser, as soon as the specialists of this business are not called. There are also legends about them, fairy tales, jokes. Probably there is not a single older man who does not know AIDS of the generation, whom this master did not hold by the nose in the hairdresser's chair, running a dangerous razor over his cheeks and chin, glossing the client's stubble for many days. Sprinkled with "Chypre" or "Triple Cologne" I went out into the spring street and involuntarily rejoiced at the lovely chill on my cheeks, giving a wide smile to the ladies on the way! Sharman, gentlemen! Sharman!

However, then I did not think about the essence of shaving and its place in the history of mankind. And it should have been!

Take a look at the antiques of Greece and Rome, look at the statues of the Etruscans, appreciate the faces of Caesar and Aurelius, Titus and Caligula! Perfectly shaven well-groomed faces, near which the master of his craft was clearly trying!

Whatever one may say, but most of the gods of the Pantheon are also shaved to blue, which cannot be said about the Slavic gods of early beliefs and the Great God of Peace. Even Christ, and he was bearded!

The Russians did not shave at all until the Peter the Great reforms, and there was a well-known reason for this. And not only religious. By the way, it was the Russian Cossacks, during the Russian army's foreign campaigns to finish off Napoleon, who brought the new fashion to Paris, which the French women liked so much! Local aboriginal women were beside themselves with the thick beards of the Russian Cossacks! I dare to assure you, reader! After this campaign, Russian blood was added to the descendants of the French! Oh-ho-ho !!! Our grave sins!

And now the most interesting part of this miniature.

Tell the reader! How did ancient people shave during their lifetime !?

Do you really think that the author is a little out of his mind or has taken too much ?. Of course, with a razor or a saber, or even a sharp knife, you will scream indignantly. However, wait, stop and think, and only then you will execute or have mercy on me, your tempter.

After all, then there was the Bronze Age, and mankind did not yet know iron, which will appear already in the Middle Ages during the Renaissance.

Only I ask you, my friend, do not try to shave with a bronze sword or knife! Murder !!! I tried! I almost became disabled! He also set fire to the stubble with a gas lighter, rubbed it with a waffle towel, tried sharp glass and other methods. The result is puddles of blood and a ruined face.

As a result of many months of experiments (it must also heal, what is wounded) I have established:

1. The ancient heroes had nothing to shave with, and therefore, they could only trim their beards and mustaches.

2. All antique sculptures, made in the Middle Ages in one or two centers of excellence and are the most common forgery of later times. By the way, none of them has inscriptions that indicate who is depicted in marble. That is why I don’t understand why this man with signs of obvious idiocy on his face was named by historians Gaius Julius Caesar, and this one with the piggy eyes of a middle-aged tradesman is none other than Germanicus.

3. The ancient master could not depict shaved faces, since he simply never saw them.

4. You can fight with a bronze sword, but you can't shave.

5. A Roman bishop calling himself a pope, a simple swindler.

It remains to draw a conclusion. “Ancient” Rome is a state formation of the early Middle Ages, and the antiques attributed to it are the work of sculptors and artists of the Renaissance, passed off as antiquity, with the aim of “making the papal throne and the history attributed to it old”. By the way, also with the literary heritage. But this is a topic for a separate miniature.

It remains to tell the story of the barber from Avebury, which was almost a national treasure of England. Listen reader! This is instructive!

Avebury Barber is a semi-legendary figure in the British Middle Ages associated with the prehistoric site of Avebury in Wiltshire, England.

According to local tradition, in the 14th century, a pious traveler helped the inhabitants of Avebury to demolish and bury pagan menhirs. While he was digging under one of the menhirs, he toppled over and fell, burying the unlucky zealot of faith under him.

Archaeologist Alexander Keiler lifted the stone in 1938 and found a human skeleton underneath. Various objects were found along with the body, including coins, scissors and an iron probe. Thus, it was established that the deceased was a barber by profession (in the Middle Ages, this profession meant both hairdressing and medical services, up to simple surgical operations, so the corresponding English term sounds like "barber surgeon").

Keiler donated the remains to the museum curator at the Royal College of Surgeons. It was believed that the remains were lost during the bombing during the Second World War, but in 1998 they were found in storage facilities and re-examined.

Traces of a major trauma were found on the skull, which was treated, but no traces of traumatic death were found. Thus, the barber was rather buried under a stone than killed by this stone, which, however, does not exclude the occurrence of death due to asphyxiation when the abdomen and chest are compressed.

I don’t know about you, but I feel sorry for this shishigu. The fact is that an iron probe was found with him, but a razor, no !!! Do you know why? Because not all hardware is suitable for her. Steel and iron are not yet the materials for making such items. Only the development of metallurgy and the introduction of additives in the 15th century allowed Europeans to get the blade in the form in which we know it. Sharp blade! Razor steel cannot be made of cast iron; additives of molybdenum, chromium and other metals opened much later are needed.

There is a myth that such steels contain silver, but this name was given to it because of the special "white" luster after polishing, this luster appears weakly and few people will be able to distinguish it. These razors have a very high hardness due to their high carbon content.

In fact, it is just a steel grade:

In England, in which such razors were produced in the overwhelming majority, this is BS-1407 with a percentage of:

C: 0.95-1.25

Mn: 0.25-0.45

Cr: 0.35-0.45

Si max: 0.40

In the annealed state it has a hardness of: 27 HRC, when quenched it can reach: 64HRC.

In Europe, steel grade equivalents are: 1, 2210 / 115CrV3 with a percentage of:

C: 1, 10-1, 25

Mn: 0, 20-0, 40

Cr: 0, 50-0, 80

Si: 0, 15-0, 30

V: 0, 07-0, 12

Most of these constituent metals became known only in the 19th century. There is truth and Damascus steel, but there are completely different qualities that are not suitable for shaving. In it, I invite the reader to figure it out for himself

Meanwhile, there were no more bearded in Rome than now, if you look at the preserved, supposedly ancient images.

So I'll continue the story of the poor Avebury barber. It seems to me that the Queen of England herself buried him under this stone, when he tried to shave her legs and other places, with the skull of a sharpened cast iron. And the hole in his head, from a direct hit with the remains of this iron pot, which she threw into the stupid head of the barber! It seems to me that the bones of this rascal belong to the ancestor of Serenka Zverev. Otherwise, how to explain his behavior in public? Only a hereditary hole in the head!