Bokshu

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

On the night of January 21, 1996, I flew out of my body and transported to the Hindustan region.

A thunderstorm raged over the jungle - strange purple lightning flashing fiercely, whimsically twisting over the river delta and highlighting the contours of wet trees. I, not weighed down by the burden of my body, hovered over the river bank and froze in anticipation of something significant and mysterious - as if the most intimate secret of existence, ancient and powerful, should be revealed to me - like the mystery of the Sphinx or the mystery of the death of Atlantis …

A fire was blazing on the shore - a large and fierce one, it rose to the sky with bright flashes of fire and the drizzling rain was unable to extinguish it - as if the gods themselves kindled a hearth for sacrifice, wishing to unite the spaces of the two worlds and show this world some kind of miracle …

And indeed, soon two appeared - over the river bank from somewhere out of the bushes and tangled lianas a shiny black panther with glowing yellow eyes jumped out, and a fiery yellow spotted leopard immediately appeared next to it.

They seemed to have performed some kind of magical dance around the fire, incomprehensible to the human mind - making high jumps and writhing, but at the same time doing it with ease and grace …

Seeing me, both animals stopped and, rising on their hind legs, began to stretch upward, simultaneously changing their appearance. The panther transformed into a slender woman with blond hair and piercing eyes; the leopard became a tall and sturdy man - broad-shouldered, blue-eyed and looking intently right at me …

One moment - and I recognized them: Bokshu! Panther and Leopard - he and she are immortal gods from another world, once, thousands of years ago, who were people, man and woman, and now they are immortals, capable of changing their appearance, moving from world to world and living for millennia …

It was they once upon a time, when I was only 12 years old, one night they flew to me, forcing me and then to "leave" my body, and like two luminous balls hovered in front of me in the corridor, intently studying me …

Then I could not penetrate into their essence, I could neither remember nor even recognize their names.

But now they seemed to open up a little for me - just enough so that I could go through my further part of my life, without straying off the right course …

And their main secret was love - real, complete and leading to immortality. Love that conquers suffering, old age and death. Here it is - an unexpected chance of the Spirit, conquering death! This knowledge and existence is higher than religions and any philosophical concepts - for all these constructions are only the product of a single, partial experience and the generation of only a linear bipolar mind, limited only by its limited experience of cognition in a narrow two-valued framework …

Here the mind ends and wisdom begins. And here the consciousness and body of a person are transformed from a muscle-tendon frame into a kind of plastic and flowing living substance in space - that flexible and fluid like a flowing liquid; then as if consisting of interweaving of droning strings; that which is a fiery plasma like a ball of lightning; or sprouting like mycelium through the space of the world; or motionless and solid like the Earth itself …

Then I returned home and got up in the morning dazed by my nightly experience.

Having made an entry in my dream diary, I went about my usual business …

At the same time, I had a secret invisible partner in the world of dreams - the Tibetan monk Golden Leopard. We met with him several times, and those meetings were a joy to me.

Our infrequent night "meetings" were like a breath of fresh mountain wind near the snow-covered Himalayan peaks: he gave me instructions and helped me overcome those "poisons" and defilements that could take me away from life.

The Golden Leopard owned the Magic of Fire and, as I think so far, he could have personally known the sages Vyasa and Maitreya …

That period of my life was difficult and thorny in its own way: I missed my first love and was possessed by the Scorpio demon. Therefore, I was preparing myself for ascetic sadhana, and I was irresistibly attracted by the emanations of the western side.

But on the other hand, I could go for days without food and water, did not know the cold and with pleasure in the winter “basked” in the snowdrifts.

I was also very "warmed" by the cosmic luminaries - Sirius, Orion and Venus: all my youth I lived as if under their invisible care.

Every spring and summer, allied creatures came to me: rhinoceros beetles, green praying mantises and cross spiders. The latter bred especially well in my house under a canopy, as well as in a barn and in a coal-box - so I lived in the middle of a real spider farm!

All three kinds of creatures were constantly striving for me, and I fully responded to them with mutual sympathy, observing and studying their habits. It was in my home library that there were about seven books by Professor Marikovsky - they were quite right for the court!

Pavel Iustinovich Marikovsky not only very vividly and fascinatingly described insects and arachnids of Kazakhstan, but also studied the biofield - like his other associates or colleagues, such as Leonid Pritsker, Viktor Inyushin and ufologist Mikhail Yeltsin.

So the books of Pritsker, Yeltsin and Marikovsky himself were at that time in my desk …

Of course, I also had a kind of "religious" literature: Sonin's book "Comprehension of Perfection" - from it I first learned about the properties and types of symmetry, Fibonacci numbers, Evariste Galois and the quark model of elementary particles; there were (and still are!) books from the "Kvant Library" series: "How the Universe Exploded" and "The Drama of Ideas in the Cognition of Nature" …

The nature of the research and questions that the books of my childhood have covered filled me with quite awe.

And I distinctly remember that clear April day when, rereading the book by Zeldovich and Khlopov “The Drama of Ideas …”, I first “saw” the idea of multipolarity.

This vague guess came to me at first not as an insight, but as a result of some kind of intellectual search, which led me to an understanding of the principles of synthesis and superposition that could give rise to something new …

But what?..

And at that moment I stopped thinking and began to see. I didn't see much and didn't comprehend right away.

But that sensation that originated in me became a kind of touchstone and a guiding star in further searches …

When I was 19 years old, I came home from work one day and fell asleep in the evening.

I woke up suddenly from a very strange feeling that I was not human. I was lying on the bed, curled up on my side and saw myself very clearly from the inside. It was not dark inside my body, everything there was illuminated with light and filled, as it were, with liquid fire …

But the strangest thing was that I was … a jaguar! A large spotted cat with a tail and a mustache!

I was lying on the bed, purring and looking at myself from the inside. I was filled with a sense of strength, flexibility and great peace. A yellow-orange liquid fire was streaming in me, and it was very pleasant just to lie there with my paws tucked in.

This pleasant pastime lasted for an indefinite interval, devoid of any events. Everything was fine, there was no need to rush anywhere …

However, one thought suddenly pierced me and knocked me out of a rut: what if I can't turn back into a human? Get back to your normal form?

I began to inhale sharply and forcefully change my tendon frame. My paws unbent and began to turn into human arms and legs, the hair on my body disappeared, and on my head it turned into hair again …

Then I finally felt like a man again and remembered my name.

What an obsession?

I will never forget my first love. She gave me that impetus to search and advancement in life, but she also brought me to the fatal line.

I have long since outgrown the Scorpio mystery, got rid of my Demon and, most importantly, survived.

I have a family and several children.

But something new appeared in my life, which was not there before, about twenty years.

I periodically began to fall in love and each time I felt a very strange and intrusive effect: as soon as a new mysterious love appeared in the outside world - as it was right there, as if in a mirror, it manifested itself in me from within.

How can this be conveyed in words?

No way.

I can only describe in words.

I see a beautiful maiden "outside" and a sweet trembling and vexation of spirit seizes me; my shoulders are straightening more and more, an inextinguishable fire of love burns in my chest; every breath intoxicates with bliss and thirst for unity …

But at the same time the same phenomenon appears “inside” me - a virgin, a goddess, a beloved - she fills me with herself and begins to live in me.

Two in one. Or three?..

Interference?

Superposition?

Ibbur?

Sayujya?..

Are these concepts somehow applicable in this situation?

Who am I?

Like me?

I AM?

There is one word that can, if not convey, then at least denote it.

Kalagia!

A cup filled with light shines in my chest.

I love and passionately wish my loved ones perfection and immortality. This is realizable in me - the One.

Cyan - yellow - purple lights shimmer in me, but I need three more colors. The woman has them.

Those who have followed the path of love can live for millennia. This is the Tantra-Shakti-Yoga path, the left-hand tantra path.

Lovers can take the form of big felines, but this requires fire and water - a thunderstorm! Lightning bolts - linear and ball - are manifestations of their passion.

They can give birth to children and send them into the world, into existence - in order to lead them in a special way and lead to perfection and immortality.

And our common community and main value is Kula, Family.

But first, everyone needs to go their own way of progression: one - two - three …

I shut up.

There are no words.

There are clues in Sanskrit.

OM.