Why we don't finish what we started

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Starting something new, you feel inspired and motivated, and then the inspiration disappears somewhere, the activity starts to irritate, is postponed and as a result does not end at all. Sound familiar? This is how lists of missed projects, missed educational courses and stacks of unfinished books appear.

We figure out where the habit of not finishing things comes from, and explain how to get rid of it.

Reasons why you can't complete what you started

1) Lack of a clear goal

Starting something just out of interest is not enough motivation. Interest gradually fades away, and with it the desire to do something disappears. Lack of understanding what result you want to achieve and what to get upon completion leads to procrastination.

2) Fear of negative evaluation after completion

Susan K. Perry, Ph. D., social psychologist and author of Writing in Flow: Keys to Enhanced Creativity, argues that fear of judgment can sometimes get in the way of getting things done. Thinking that the result will be assessed negatively, we slow down the process of completing the task.

3) perfectionism

The attitude “either perfect or not at all” leads to the fact that a person refuses to do anything at all. University of British Columbia researcher Paul L. Hewitt notes that perfectionism is not a desire to improve a project, a relationship, or one's job in general, but an obsessive desire to correct one's imperfect self. When a person is afraid to make a mistake and not achieve an ideal result, which exists only in his imagination, he himself drives himself into a framework and creates obstacles.

4) An abstract idea of this lesson

According to constructive levels theory (CLT) in social psychology, there is a relationship between psychological distance and the degree of abstractness in thinking. In other words, we perceive distant objects or events as abstract, intangible, while close objects we can characterize more concretely and see exactly how to come from point A to point B.

Perceiving the project as something distant, unrealizable, we start to implement it for a long time, do not fully understand its essence and, accordingly, cannot complete it. However, the project can be "brought closer" if you think it over in detail, describe all the details and the desired result.

5) Unwillingness to overcome difficulties

At the beginning, the matter seems easy and inspiring to us, but when the first difficulties appear, everything starts to look completely different. Especially if you are not ready for them.

Susan K. Perry, Ph. D., social psychologist and author of Writing in Flow: Keys to Enhanced Creativity.

How to still learn to bring things to an end

1) Set a specific, realistic goal

Before getting down to business, honestly answer the question: why are you starting it at all? Make sure your main motivation is internal. Do you really want to do something according to your personal desire, or is the decision based on social opinions? Write down why you started the session and what results you want to get. State your goal clearly (remember to be realistic, specific and measurable).

2) Anticipate potential problems and solutions

Obstacles are less intimidating if you are willing to overcome them. Think over a plan of action, anticipate possible problems and ways to solve them. Answer the following questions: What difficulties may I face? When do you need outside help? What resources should be kept in stock? For example, in the course of training you are faced with the fact that for a long time you cannot master a topic and solve a problem - in this case, you can turn to a mentor from an educational program or to an external expert.

3) Calculate realistic timelines

It is not uncommon for newcomers to make the "planning mistake" first described by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky in 1979, defining it as "the tendency to underestimate the amount of time it takes to complete a future task due to overly optimistic scenarios."

As a result, you may abandon something because it takes much longer to implement than originally anticipated. The solution is to calculate realistic timelines and think about how much spare time you need to have.

4) Give up perfectionism

We've said before that perfectionism can be demotivating if you don't have the capacity to pursue an imaginary “perfect plan”. “Allow yourself to make mistakes from time to time and do not think that everyone around you is just waiting for you to make a mistake,” advises University of Massachusetts Amherst professor Susan Krauss Whitburn.

5) Track your progress

Regular recording of results keeps you motivated as you see your progress. “It is important to know how far you have come and how much is still left, otherwise the task looks like an endless one. Define clues ahead of time where you know you have seventy-five, fifty or twenty-five percent of the work left,”says American writer and motivational speaker Barbara Sher in her book I Refuse to Choose.

6) stick to the principle of small steps

Trying to do everything at once, you risk that in the end you will not get any result, since you are scattering your resources and not concentrating. Acting gradually, performing a small amount of work every day, you bring yourself closer to the goal, while this method of movement does not lead to overwork, as it requires less effort.

7) Present a clear result and remind yourself of it

Answer the questions: what will this project give you upon completion, and how will taking this action change you and your life? For example, you start learning German and set a goal to reach B1 level in seven months. Decide why you are doing it. Let's say you need a language to enter a foreign university, because you want to improve your qualifications or work abroad for some time and gain new experience.