Pornomania is the scourge of modern men. Part 6

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Several years ago, while still a student, I went to a friend's dorm. In the room the company had already sat down at the table, and in the center of this table stood … no, not a cake with candles. My classmate was simply bursting with happiness - her parents gave her a laptop! "Well, shall we test it?" she suggested.

Friends and girlfriends could not wait: "Come on, come on!". Everyone giggled, took turns climbing to the laptop, opening some folders … And then someone found a video, pressed play …

I have never been a "dinosaur", I was a very modern girl. But that evening, when my friend turned it on, I felt very unwell. Maybe someone will not believe it, but I immediately wanted to get up and leave. I urgently came up with some kind of "excuse" and was getting ready to go home. My heart was extremely disgusting: a girl whom I trusted and whom I respected very much invited me to visit just to show porn … Someone shouted after me: “Wait! Look at how it's done! " I turned around and looked. But not on the screen, but on your friends. If you have ever seen a zombie, then you will understand me. Everyone's eyes are like coconuts in size, their mouths are open almost to the toes, their tongues are sticking out, "the breath is stolen in the goiter." And my hands still reach out to those places that people usually have covered … All the way home I was shaking: I could not even imagine that this is done with smart and adequate guys and girls. That they turn on the video and become like some kind of crazy …

A friend of mine called me "to the movies" a couple of times. I refused, and she twisted her finger at her temple: “What are you doing! You don't know what you are missing! " Of course, “spectators” came to her in droves to watch the “cool video”. Or maybe not only to see …

In those years, I did not understand why such a rebellion arose in my soul. Probably, she just felt: it shouldn't be this way! Why shouldn't it? This is now the norm of life! Students spend hours surfing the Internet and “having fun” … Many say they watch porn “for educational purposes” in order to be successful later. Who? The same lovers of sex in the video, I guess.

And for some reason it was disgusting to me. What do porn and real love have in common? How can you watch a video in a hostel, and then buy a bouquet and go on a date?.. Is there any connection between the one and the other?

It would seem that you live among all this - you would have to get used to it. But I still couldn't. For me, porn and love are like two parallel lines that never intersect. Either one or the other.

Why I am so worried about this topic, I understood much later. When I just watched those who "dabbled" in pictures and videos. Believe me, what they called "flying away" eventually destroyed them. When I got married, and we began to communicate more with other married couples, it became clear: it was not for nothing that in my youth I reacted so violently to this. It turns out that pornography destroyed a lot of marriages, ousted love from them.

And why? - you ask. How can one interfere with the other?

Maybe.

There were many good, well-read, cheerful guys in the company that my friend had gathered. So, after university, I periodically met them - and, imagine, they all (!) Had sad faces. They had sluggish movements, disappointed voices, dull eyes. And this is twenty-three - twenty-four years! At the age when life is just beginning, they were no longer interested in anything. These are old people without wrinkles.

I asked - what happened? It turns out that none of them could build a normal relationship with the girl. As they say, hormones were off the charts. One of them was blown away on dates: he could not think about anything but sex. Even an ordinary conversation could not support it: thoughts went in the wrong direction. Another young man almost immediately dragged the girl to the bed. In any case, he climbed to pester me. He even apologized: "I'm not a lecher, I just can't help myself." Of course, the girls ran away from him. I knew this guy from school - he was never dissolute, just at the age of seventeen he started "spinning a film" with other curious people. I watched and brought it to life, looked again and brought it to life again. And why not, if you want, and the "visual aid" can be downloaded from the Internet right there? And at twenty-four, our friend no longer knew - what else can you do with a female creature, if not have sex?..

Our third friend was constantly "thrown". Because he did not recognize ordinary girls (in not very short skirts, with calm makeup, without silicone boobs). He was not interested in the thoughts of his girlfriend, what she breathes … He met only with those who were similar. On whom? On those - from the videos. Who have written on their face: "I give!" Can such girls have a serious relationship? Sometimes they can, but rarely. And they simply siphoned off funds from my friend (he earned good money). Such was the deal: I gave you my body, and you gave me restaurants, gifts, just money … They literally milked him, and when they milked everything they could, her husband or lover appeared - and then the guy also received from him neck …

Why does this happen? Because these guys have sex overshadowed everything. When they watched porn "for educational purposes", they, of course, learned to have sexual intercourse. But they could not learn to love! Porn does not teach this, it is not its purpose. Its purpose is to get you turned on. And when the thoughts are only about how to sleep with someone, there is rarely anyone who will look for a worthy couple. These boys did not understand what love is. Maybe they thought about her, tried to find her, but turned back to the side of the road. And where did they go, to what purpose? …

Girls, maybe you think that porn is harmless thing? And is it okay if your future husband sometimes "relaxes" on the sites? In the end - he doesn't seem to be cheating on you … But the fact of the matter is that "seems to be."

Imagine that before meeting you, he occasionally looked at porn. Just for the company or to learn - it doesn't matter. And so he met you, the girl of his dreams. You got married, everything is excellent. But he did not give up his habit, and from time to time he visits these sites. And he looks at busty young ladies with perfect abs. And your chest is small and your belly is not very elastic. At first it does not bother him, but then you realize that deep down in his soul he compares you to those "girls" in the video. He forgot that it was not the size of your bra that he loved you. Now you feel that you are a little "not like that" for him. That they do not perceive you as you are. That he seems to have sex with you, but in fact - with someone else. And then he stops hiding anything at all. He begins to openly criticize your figure, underwear, behavior in bed. The question is how long can you tolerate it.

Girls, don't be fooled: pornography gives rise to an inferiority complex … Wouldn't you be offended if people start comparing you to someone? If you know that it is not you yourself who "turn on" him, but unfamiliar naked girls, at whom he just stared … Can you then believe him that he really loves you?

An old friend of mine had a big fight with her husband. Olya almost cried when she talked about how he humiliated her. “He just bothered me with his nit-picking. Constantly reminded me that I have a fat butt and no waist. And I’m so by nature! And he always was like that, only he used to like it, and now it annoys him. " She began to annoy Mikhail after the unlimited Internet appeared in the house. My husband immediately started watching porn - at first a little, then more and more often. And the more videos he watched, the less his wife attracted him. At first, Misha only hinted - they say, I would like your hips to be a little smaller. And then he began to say, without embarrassment, that she was a “cow,” and cows did not excite him. “It is very offensive to hear such words,” she admitted, “from a man whose entire office is hung with my full-length photos. Now, because of this porn, I no longer suit him the way he loved me."

How tempting it is - porn fulfills all your desires! Straight goldfish online! I pressed the button and chose the woman of my dreams! With such a figure as you want - there would be the Internet and wild imagination. Only this is not your woman, but a common thing. And while you are staring at her, a hundred more people like you are also staring at her. You all laugh together like a herd, looking at the video whore, and your women are waiting for you in their own bedroom and do not understand why you do not go to them. And this, in your opinion, is love - to throw your own and lick your lips at someone else's, from the Internet?

Young man, perhaps you haven’t thought about marriage yet. Then I want to tell you that you will also have an inferiority complex. Before your eyes - "samples", but before them you will always be like to China through Antarctica. You will want to become in bed like that shaved jock who handles women like a janitor with a broom, but you can't. And not because you are short, thin and shy. But because this is not your game, and other people's roles do not suit you.

When you love and love you - you are infinitely happy. All you need in this life is her, your star, your sun, your goddess. But if you looked at naked aunts for five years before, you cannot be truly happy. You will not be able to dissolve in your love when you soar in the clouds with Her, when you catch her every word … You will never know what it means to love so that your heart stops at one of her glances. You will only think about whether you can "how they are", whether you are able to "how there." "Oh, but I can't do it in this position …", "Why can't I several times?" And if you decide that you still do not reach them - you are finished. And your relationship is over. Because you are obsessed with sex. You do not know and do not want to know how else you can show your love, if not in bed. And the more time you spend there, the less chance you have here.

Many say: "For me, it's just relaxation - so that stress can be relieved." Yes, someone relieves stress with beer, someone - playing cards, and someone - with porn films. And then it becomes a habit, and what a habit! One of my acquaintances was barely pulled out by specialists: so he became addicted to pornography. And before that, he lost his family and … In general, about everything in order.

While still at university, Aleksey went to his neighbor's dormitory - so to speak, "to get a shoe in theory." Sometimes he even skipped couples - he could not tear himself away, sat until the morning, until he lost consciousness right in the room. At first, Lesha was just curious to learn the "theory", then he began to look for someone to "practice" with. Over time, he got tired of it, he stopped both looking and driving girls. Then he met a good, decent girl and married her. A daughter was born - in a word, everything was like in a fairy tale. But one day an old friend threw off a reference … And off we go! Lesha often invited his wife Natasha to "experiment". And then Natasha was no longer needed: he, like a funnel, was drawn into this virtual-sexual world. Lesha dismissed him when his wife tried to talk to him: “Don’t worry! It's just a hobby, like soccer or fishing."

Further - worse: they generally stopped spending time together. Lesha was more interesting on the Internet. He did not communicate with his daughter, he could sit all night at his desk - it is clear what he was doing there. During the day he answered his wife's questions out of place; after work, without taking off his jacket, he rushed to the screen. Natasha turned a blind eye to this for almost a year - well, the person gets tired, he needs to rest somehow. But one day I accidentally saw that Lesha was texting in a porn chat with some youngster. She decided to sort things out. My husband freaked out: “Why are you meddling in my life ?! I am not telling you how to rest! " Natasha tried to start everything from scratch, invited Lesha to go to a psychologist together. He dismissed: “I have no problems. If you have them, then you go. " And again he buried himself in the computer.

Natalia filed for divorce. “It seems to me that when Leshka signed the statement, he was all there, in his porn. I would not be surprised if he didn’t even notice what kind of document they gave him.” After the divorce, Lesha not only did not give up his "hobby", he again began to look for girls for "practice". And then … hallucinations began. Everything he saw on porn sites now seemed to him - either in the subway, or in the office, even during business negotiations. Alexei tried to give up "this case", but he was drawn again and again - to look, then to chat. His father saved him: during another hallucination he grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to a friend's psychiatrist.

Lesha scrambled out, but his wife never returned to him. She was just afraid. I was afraid that one day he would break loose. That's why that pornography is not a hobby. It is addiction, the same as alcoholism or drug addiction. And someday you will have to choose: your beloved woman - or your porn addiction. Are you sure you will make the right choice?..

There has been a lot of writing lately about the fact that pornography leads to impotence. In fact, it’s not that simple. At first glance, it seems to be the other way around: sex scenes “turn on” both men and women. But this is only physiology. Love is a completely different state. This is a merging of souls, spiritual closeness - call it what you want, but pornography has nothing to do with it. Just pleasure for yourself - and only for yourself. The desire to amuse yourself, your beloved (or beloved) first of all. All these pictures and videos seem to say: "If you want it - come on, try it right now!" I repeat: if you want it. And does your loved one want this, who, perhaps, thinks and feels differently? But what does it matter to you! You want it - it means that everything should be exactly that way, and nothing else! The meaning of porn is to "fuck" a partner, to please your ego first. And where does the desire to please a loved one go? There is no this desire. There is only "wanting", and everyone else, please, adapt.

You will say that I am exaggerating. That impotence has nothing to do with it. But somehow we got into a conversation with a girl on the train. Tanya lived with her boyfriend in a "civil marriage" and was very afraid that he would leave her. And this guy, after watching porn, offered her … threesome sex. She was shocked by his idea. And so much so that she refused without hesitation. But he began to insist! And she exploded: “You are a pervert! How can you just turn your tongue - to offer me this! " And he, apparently, also has something boiling, and he told Tatiana everything that he thought about her: “You're just a bore! With you there is no variety at all! " They had a fight, and now the girl was going to put up with him. Tanya admitted that on the way home she was shaking all over: "Now he will leave me, since I do not want someone else in our bed!" I asked her: "Well, what have you decided?" - “I decided … why not? I have already watched the scenes with the three of us many times … well, there is nothing so terrible there, on the contrary, it's cool …"

I'm scared to imagine what else Tanya's boyfriend's fantasy can reach. And that at the same time Tanya herself will have to do if she does not want to lose him. Here it is - spiritual, not bodily, impotence, when there is a discord within the couple. We stopped seeing and hearing each other, but instead of taking off our eyes and taking off our headphones, we think our problem is sex. That we urgently need to look at something "for the acuity of the sensations", and then we will have everything okay. We try to repeat someone's scenario - and we destroy what we have. The reality in which we live. A reality in which She wants tenderness, not abuse and handcuffing. Where He sometimes comes home from work tired and dreams of going to sleep, unlike that virtual superman who is "always ready." We stop living in this real world, because here we have to plow, think with our heads and feel with our hearts. And "there" - just clicked the mouse and got what he wanted.

After all, "porn" - this is not real sex … This is an imitation of it, and thought out to the smallest detail, so that you are drawn exactly there, and not to your own matrimonial bed. Want to have sex with youngsters? Here's a website for you - everything is just about this topic. Gangbang? No problem! Sadomasochism? As much as you like! Look, indulge your curiosity … Only all these theatrical performances will sooner or later seep into your life, but I'm afraid it won't excite you anymore. Other men and women, whom you do not know, will begin to haunt your life, they will stand between you two - and in the final they will throw one of you overboard like a lousy kitten. Because there is no real love. There is nothing human at all. There is pure physical education and posing in front of the camera. And you think that real life is there, and in your house there is "triviality", "conjugal duty" …

Well, yes, duty.

But you have forgotten about the main duty - about the duty of love! And when a man loves, he is in a hurry not to the screen - to spy on someone else's sexual intercourse - but to Her, to his woman. She expects from him affection and desire - not feigned, but sincere. And she knows for sure that the source of his passion is herself, and not a "German film". She accepts her man for who he is, and does not compare with anyone else. In turn, he wants to look only at her - and enjoy that he received such a priceless treasure. Someone have slimmer legs? And what do we care about that ?! Here are the most beautiful legs in the world, and everything else she has the most beautiful too! Does someone satisfy a woman five times? This is his personal business, the main thing for us is that we are together! That we are one self-sufficient whole, and do not need American humanitarian aid with the proud name of "porn video". All we need is to just feel each other. Guess desires by movements, vibrations of the voice and breathing rate. Study a person, try to please him, see and hear him. And to know that we are reciprocated … Only then will physical intimacy be the way we dream. All we need is true love! When you don't need to copy anyone and look up to anyone. Porn? What for? In true love, each other is enough!

Each of us has two origins. One of them is spiritual (which distinguishes us from animals). And there is a biological principle (like all living things). The spirituality is our striving for purity, love, beauty. In other words, this is the striving for God (or, if you like, for the Higher Reason, the higher power, thanks to which man was created). The biological (animal) principle is the same aspirations as in animals: to get food, to relieve themselves and to mate. Unfortunately, very many members of the human race have chosen this path: their whole life is aimed at satisfying their biological desires. That is, they seem to be like people, but they live only for the sake of the body, in order to fulfill all its whims. And porn was created just for such people. To constantly stimulate and strengthen bodily, animal instincts. And so that those who view porn, consider it normal. Pornography shows us what we are trying to keep in check - the lower, animal manifestations. When you are not ashamed. When you are not responsible for the consequences. When the main thing is that I get what I want. When it's all the same with whom. When sex is not even a reason for dating. When sex is generally the main thing in my existence …

But there is also another way. There is a way in which the spiritual, higher principle guides a person. This is the path of purity. This is a constant striving for the high, for true love. This is the desire to become better, kinder, cleaner yourself. This is a continuous movement towards people, a desire to give them the best that is in your soul. A person who obeys his higher principle will look for what will be useful primarily for his soul. Something that will make his soul even a little better.

Now think: when a person is shown sexual intercourse on the Internet in which there are no feelings, when they show stupid animal sex, and a person looks with an open mouth - can this awaken higher, spiritual aspirations? Never! The lowest feelings will awaken: “I want,” “I want to satisfy my ego,” “I want this, and I don’t care how it affects me and my loved one.” And after a while, this animal nature, which was given free rein, will begin to rule you. "Hanging" on porn sites - and now something that I was ashamed to think about before, even begins to like it. How else? After all, porn exists for this, so that you are not ashamed, that you do everything that your body wants, and that you generally forget that you are, first of all, a Human.

Love is the manifestation of the highest principle in us. Love is the brightest, most perfect spiritual feeling through which we express ourselves as people. And sex without love also happens in animals.

While we live, two principles - the higher and the lower - are fighting in us. Who will win? Are you a human being, the highest creation on earth? Or are you an animal that needs only to eat and enjoy? Are porn and love compatible? Now you yourself can answer this question. Either a person strives upward, or turns into an animal. You have to choose. And many have already chosen. And you?