The first path of Faith

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

This path is never well-trodden. It can be twisted or straight, like an arrow. Sometimes it is mirror-smooth, but more often stones are scattered on it. Sometimes there is a granite block on it, which, it seems, no one can move, but lo and behold !: there is a small hole below, which is difficult to see, but easy to overcome. And sometimes it ends as soon as it starts. We all went through it … This is the first path of our life - birth …

Vera decided to be born on a sunny April morning, at the very time when winter is still showing its teeth, but spring is already reigning. I was in full combat readiness: calm, but in slight excitement, relaxed, but collected. The contractions grew gradually, I had time to send my husband and children out of the house. I didn't want my husband to be present at the birth. A man does not need this - to immerse himself in the world of female secrets, try to understand her feelings and even more so to alleviate them. For me, it's like a man carrying his lady's purse. A man has about the same role in childbirth: an absurd attempt to help where a man does not belong, and sympathy for the far-fetched severity of a woman's lot. And it is about as heavy as the same handbag.

He was there, however, as always, even if immense. And after giving birth, it was very valuable.

Contractions are the most frank conversation with oneself, where you cannot evade, you cannot pretend to be pathetic, to be stroked, where there is no room for self-deception. And this is not pain … In my search for adequate information about childbirth, many times I came across articles and advice on how to reduce pain during childbirth. The very formulation of the question sets up the listeners of these tips to perceive their feelings as pain. What is pain? Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary, for example, says that this is a feeling of suffering. That is, when you suffer from your sensations, it hurts, and accordingly, if you treat them differently, then there’s no pain, as it were. It is the same in fights: if you treat them as strong sensations of life, paving the way, as joyous work, then it does not hurt. Yes, it’s overwhelming, yes, it’s draining, but it doesn’t hurt. Vera and I talked during the contractions, I helped her, she helped me. Such joint work gives no place for fears, weakness, despair. I remember getting into the bathtub to try if the water helps to relax and rest in between contractions. It did not help, although I really love water and during the preparation I read about the variant of water birth. Feelings gave me the answer. Thinking about this later and remembering Vygotsky and his "Age Problem", I understood why water did not seem to me a suitable medium for childbirth. Development is always a crisis, a leap, when the old remains in the past and the new is created. The baby leaves the womb, and a new life begins: all systems of a small organism must receive a powerful stimulus to begin a new stage of their existence. The lungs must immediately breathe in air, the circulatory and digestive systems - to feel the force of gravity and the changed temperature of the environment - all this is a kind of "magic pendel" for its development. Comfort does not lead anywhere, it relaxes, slows down, deceives. This applies not only to childbirth, but also to upbringing, education, building relationships … but you can't list everything - this applies to all aspects of human life.

After the baby was born, exhaustion set in. I just lay down and lay for a long, long time with Vera on my stomach. My head was empty, but my heart was full. New life puffed nearby, and I myself was like a newborn. And only after a few hours I remembered: "where is she, like her, the placenta?"Immediately, figures, figures, facts and facts began to flash in my head, and I swam … My husband pulled me out from under the water, busily offering to call an ambulance. "No ambulance!" - I shouted and asked to bring tea with dates instead. Having refreshed myself, after some effort, I gave birth to the placenta. It was already evening, and with a feeling of complete completeness, I called the children to get to know each other and soothe the anxiety of misunderstanding in their little heads.

And so, after a short but very meaningful inner conversation, Vera entered this world, persistently and easily. She is like this in life: very persistent and joyful, easily upset and easy to adjust again. Her first journey became a lesson for our entire family. And the stones on the road will never make us turn off the path.