Privacy Notice (Essay)

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

Essays for those strange people who published their so-called "privacy notice" and generally diligently protect themselves from encroachment on their privacy, while being in social networks …

Ololosh registered in various social networks, everywhere he indicated his personal data: date of birth, city, various preferences, favorite books, quotes, films, games, sex positions, and also posted a number of photos in which he marked his friends and his entire family. He painstakingly described all his adventures, photographed and recorded various events from the life of his family on video, and then posted them on the network. To make it easier to compose his psychological portrait, to identify all his mental defects, inclinations and even secret wishes that, as it seemed to him, no one could know, Ololosh published on his pages various articles from other blogs, groups and communities, signing under each such a publication your opinion. He also wrote comments under videos on various channels, on forums and under other people's posts on social networks. He fiercely argued with some, praised and encouraged the activities of others, in general, with all his actions, he completely naked himself in front of everyone, and he exposed himself much more than just naked, he showed ALL of his inner essence entirely, stripping naked every element of his psyche and showing it from all sides.

But suddenly something unpleasant happened to Ololosh: he found out that some people want to encroach on his personal life, on his copyrights, which, as he mistakenly thought, he possesses in relation to his buggashek, that they want to climb up to him into the soul and still delve into his head. They can reveal his personal life and put it on public display, use information against him, or, God forbid, to make money on it! Ololosh wrinkled his forehead, pouted, blushed with tension and wrote: “I hereby declare that all my personal data are mine, that I and only I can do whatever I want with them, and you cannot without my written consent, certified by a notary for special paper with watermarks, as well as the signature of the Pope. I consider the disclosure of my public information a crime and I will prosecute the violator, and then I will very, very strongly punish him in court for violating the law WTF-1-01-01 and GOST 123-5345321-99, as well as SNiP 994579843-345-24-22 ("Concrete bridges and structures"). I strictly prohibit unlawful actions against actions aimed at protecting my rights! I, a citizen of Ololosh of a certain year of birth (passport, series), impose the aforementioned prohibition on the employees of all those organizations that control the resources on which I have posted my data, as well as on the personnel serving these organizations, and on the personnel, service personnel serving these organizations, as well as personnel serving the personnel who serve these personnel. I advise everyone, everyone, everyone to copy this text, verified by professional lawyers, and then you will be protected by the copyright law and no one, do you hear? - NOBODY can get into your personal life and harm you. Everyone will see a notification lost in a pile of publications, and no even your very last photo will be used against you or for the benefit of someone other than you. The computers of those who want to harm you will explode by themselves, and the police will rush into the house of such people and knock everyone on the floor. Do not forget when copying to indicate my copyright and accompany your notice with proper links to all my resources and then write that this text was compiled by Ololosh Takimtovich (passport, series, year of birth, address of residence, parents' names, car number, kitten photo, account number in the bank, card number, color of panties) ".

Ololosh published the entry and waited for the rapid development of events. But an hour, two, a day passed … nothing happened …. then the next morning Ololosh opened one of his pages and saw the following comment under his notification: “You would, b.. I, moron, in the middle of Red Square sat down to shit and yell to everyone around: I, b.., forbid you, s..ki photograph me, na..uy bl..t . And below, under the commentary, the same joker published a photo of Ololosh, edited in Photoshop so that now the well-known genital organ was depicted on his forehead. But the tragedy did not end there, now, day after day, various pranksters and rascals were throwing comments on all of Ololosh's resources with one form or another of bullying over his personal life. Moreover, the commentators hit very painfully right on the most vulnerable spots and mental illnesses of the poor fellow.

Well, what did you want, my dear Ololosh? You yourself told everything about yourself … and now you forbid the use of this information? I hereby notify you that everyone deeply does not care about your ban, and moreover, you do not have any copyright in relation to anything, never had and never will, this is a myth generated by our vicious culture, and information flows are regulated at a level that is much higher than the legal one.