KVN very quickly turned into a regular show business

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

KVN is gradually becoming an instrument of politics, a powerful lever that politicians are more and more successfully pulling on. At different times before the elections, Boris Yeltsin and Vladimir Putin, the President of Abkhazia Bagapsh, visited KVN …

KVN - a totalitarian humor show or how much humor is for the people today

From the abbreviation KVN, you can safely exclude the last letter denoting resourcefulness. The game has become a professional comedy show where there is no nothing extraand not planned by the script. Everything is polished to a shine. The cute boys and girls just have to play. And the rest will be done for them.

Foreword

It cost me a lot of work to get the Kaveans to talk: no one wanted to talk about behind the scenesone of the most popular humorous programs. But the guys willingly shared how they can be punished for being too frank.

All players remember sad examples of expulsion from KVN Garik Martirosyanand Igor Kharlamov … But the story of one Moscow team and another Armenian team is especially frightening for everyone. All of them - and this is more than 100 people - were expelled from KVN forever.

And this happened due to the fact that the teams allowed themselves to go on tour without informing the management of AMiK about it in advance. According to the contract that successful teams sign, they must not only coordinate their touring schedule with AMiK, but also deduct a certain percentage of earnings.

They say that even the patronage of Yuri Luzhkov did not save the bright and talented guys from the Moscow team. That is why all names in the article have been changed or missing.

We are starting KVN …

KVN appeared as a kind of alternative to student skits in the 60s. The game immediately established itself as entertainment for intellectual youth. A year later, KVN went on television for the first time.

In 1972, apparently for this very intellectuality, the program was taken off the air. For 14 years, KVN existed in a semi-underground form. Nobody could prohibit organizing tournaments in student dormitories. KVN again appeared on the blue screens in the 90s, and almost immediately a real boom began among the youth.

Alexander Vasilievich Maslyakov, or Barin, as the KVA people call it, they managed to turn the game into a business, and the TV show into a real state. Now this is the real corporation with over 40 years of experience in the market and thousands of employees. And AMiK's revenues, according to some sources, exceed several million dollars.

Not oil, of course, but still …

KVN has its own supreme authority (President of the Cheerful and Resourceful Club - Maslyakov Sr.), there is the heir to the throne (host of the KVN Premier League Alexander Maslyakov Jr.). For the eyes of Maslyakov's son, the kaveenschiki lovingly call Small.

- Unfortunately, the Club of the Merry and Resourceful for 20 years has become a relatively honest way of taking money from the population … - believes Alexander, one of the sponsors of the regional KVN team. - This is a rare case when its creators (read teams) pay for the show. The maintenance of a team playing in the Major League costs million dollars annually! Few people realize that there is a lot of money behind a bright youth show. There is no charity at all there.

But if KVN is only show business, then why then businessmen to sell ideas about the need for a youth movement?

Over the forty years of its existence, KVN has become a real forge of personnel. Elena Hanga, Valdis Pelsh, Sergey Sivokho, Alexander Gurevich, Natalya Gromushkina, Alexey Kortnev, Arkady Inin, Gennady Khazanov, Tatyana Lazareva, Mikhail Shatz - this is not a complete list of Russian stars who "got promoted" thanks to KVN.

Most of the projects of the Ren-TV and STS channels are being prepared by the former KVA members. In modern terms, KVN has become a powerful production center. AMiK even sends its invitations to the teams on behalf of the production center.

- Yes, KVN is not the same as it was 20, 30 years ago! - the captain of one of the teams is sure. - This is a professional show. If everything remained at the same, "student" level, KVN would be uncompetitive. He would not have been shown either on the First or on any other central channel. How can student jokes, in general, compete with naked women and reality shows?

Give me one million dollars … and 13 forks, please

The team's budget is classified information. In this, KVN teams are very similar to football teams: everyone knows that a lot of money is spent on them, but no one knows how much.

Experts estimate that a team of 13 students playing in the Major League is worth about $ 1 million a year. They say that you can get by and cheaper, but the chances of winning in this case will be significantly reduced.

Where does the million come from?

The average cost estimate of the KVN team for the game:

- Directions (depending on the distance);

- Accommodation (although AMiK, as a rule, negotiates with hotels and hostels on the provision of discounts for kaveenschikov);

- Daily allowance (depends on the team's budget);

- Contribution for the game (contributions are in all Leagues, except for the Highest);

- Props (depends on the imagination of the kaveenschik, taking into account the requirements of the TV crew);

- Recording a phonogram;

- Authors;

- Working with the editor (the editor is provided by AMiK);

- Makeup artist;

- Additional resources (vocal, dance, circus and other groups);

But what about talented, but very poor guys from the regions? What about those who have not managed to find a rich sponsor? Do these guys have a chance to win at least something?

- If there is no money at all, then you cannot play in KVN, - the players say. - You need to be able to pay at least the entry fees and get to the competition. If there is not much money, then there is still a chance. It will be very difficult though. The team Pyatigorskfor example, generally there was no money … When they played in the Ukrainian Open League, sponsors brought them … drinking water. Whole trucks! And the poor team director, by hook or by crook, persuaded people to buy water so that the team had something to live on.

Team Vladikavkaz, according to the stories, she traveled from her hometown to Moscow by minibus. There were 20 of them, and there were only 15 seats in the minibus. The daily allowance was given out at one hundred rubles a day - and this is in Moscow! The guys lived for 20 people in one room … But they won!

The richest kaveenschik in Russia are considered to be the teams “Four Tatars”, “Golden Youth”, “Burnt by the Sun” and RUDN University. Teams from Tyumen and Chelyabinsk also stand out.

They say that the victory of the team "Four Tatars" was allocated a separate line item in the budget of the local administration. It is interesting that the guys won exactly before the loud date - millennium of Kazan …

When forming national teams of cities, the political and geographical aspect is taken into account. For example, a Chelyabinsk player can get into the Krasnodar Territory team, provided that no one has ever seen him in the Chelyabinsk team. As soon as the player lights up once - and that's it, you are already marked.

“In KVN, everyone knows each other,” the players say. - When one team has solid financial support, those who want to join it immediately appear. If there is a desire and strength to hand over numerous debts (one player handed in 48 pieces at once), then you can officially transfer to the institute and become a member of the KVN team. Other players prefer to just play for the institute.

So it turns out that 30-year-old uncles of a solid build suddenly appear on the student team … And sometimes it turns out that great actors, kaveenschik, who have given more than a dozen years to the game, continue to ride the 412th model of the "Moskvich" and intercept a friend until his paycheck a friend has 100-200 rubles.

Where's the money ?

- Sponsors must be sick in the head people to give money for KVN, - says businessman Alexander. - To put it mildly, AMiK's behavior towards sponsors cannot be called beautiful. AMiK, for example, may suddenly change advertising conditions for team sponsors. And the fact that AMiK forces teams to sign contracts is also ugly. In fact, this contract takes away from the teams all the opportunities to earn money on their own …

However, there is one loophole: AMiK has no right to change the name of a team. So there are teams like "Pyramids" from Vladikavkaz. In fact, Pyramida is the nightclub there. Remember also the history of the team "Crown" from the Perm town of Dobryanka. Previously, the team was called “There is a contact!”, But having acquired a sponsor in the form of the Moscow entertainment complex “Korona”, it changed its name. The team Parma sponsored by the investment banking group "Parma". Good (albeit very expensive!) Advertising is also received by institutions that have created their teams.

- They say that thanks to its KVN team, the Peoples' Friendship University of Russia over the past year received 60% more applicants than in previous years, - a player of one KVN team sighs enviously.

But the teams of St. Petersburg, Pyatigorsk and Vladivostok with vague names had completely different goals - political.

“It's almost impossible for teams sponsored by the institutes themselves or commercial sponsors to compete with teams sponsored by the regions,” complains one of the sponsors. - You can compete with teams that are supported by the governors themselves only with humor.

KVN is gradually becoming a policy instrument, a powerful lever that politicians are more and more successfully pulling on. At various times before the elections, Boris Yeltsin and Vladimir Putin, and the President of Abkhazia Sergei Bagapsh visited KVN. And regional governors even more so consider the pre-election turnout on KVN strictly compulsory.

“They demonstrate that something is happening in their region,” one of the players smiles ironically. “And this“something”is positive. How else can the governor appear on Channel One? No way! If only for a lot of money.

At the right time, the KVN team from Chechnya was actively promoting. A lot of money was invested in it. But, alas, the team was so weak that even dollars could not strengthen it.

- There was also such a team “Krasnodarsky Prospekt”. The Krasnodar Territory invested enormous amounts of money in it. But the people gathered there are completely incompetent. And, no matter how hard the sponsors tried, the team did not manage to rise further than 1/8. The "principle of the game" has turned on - the weak one flies out, - the same player explained to us.

Without exception, all KVN teams work with professional authors … It is almost impossible to create jokes and portray them at the same time: sometimes you have to create 5-6 scenarios at a time.

Scripting is one of the most lucrative subtypes of Kaveen business. This is how all teams that have been to the Major League earn. Of course, not the whole team, but some of the most talented individuals.

Good authors can be counted on one hand. These are Garik Martirosyan together with the entire Comedy Club team, Senya Slepakov from the Pyatigorsk team and others. They say that expensive writers charge $ 7,000 per script.

Belarus and Ural - the two most "fun" geographic areas. Traditionally, the most interesting KVN teams and the best writing authors come from here. Now the championship of Belarus is gradually being taken over by the Urals. Rumor has it that for the script from the "Ural dumplings" take from 1 to 5 thousand dollars.

But you need to keep your eyes open, otherwise you may be sold a script that has already been delivered.

AMiK editors also have their own kind of income.

- The Amikov editors have the right to select the material that will go on air, and reject everything else, - the kaveenschiki share their secrets. “Some people reject material and then sell the cut-out jokes to other teams. And nothing!

A contract with AMiK is a disaster

All expenses for "getting yourself to mind" are taken by the team. The script, costumes, staging … Whoever will be the funniest in the team (that is, the "front man", those who will get the main role), is also decided by the team itself. Usually the most talented person becomes the face of the team.

KVN broadcasts the First channel. He pays AMiK for the quality filling of his air. The first channel, of course, makes money from advertising sales.

But the players are absolutely convinced that it is AMiK that deserves all the credit for the promotion of the team. To the question: "Why do you think so?" - Kaveenschiki, as if on command, roll their eyes to the sky and exclaim: "So they show us on Channel One!"

“Nobody knew us until we appeared on Channel One,” says the girl-player. - And AMiK has the opportunity to promote us on the main channel! Everyone knows that it costs a lot! Remember the "Star Factory" … AMiK spends its airtime on KVN actors. And since efforts have been expended, it means that AMiK has the right to have a percentage of our popularity.

And AMiK already has it: according to the terms of the contract, which the teams conclude, none of the kaveenschiks should bargain with their face on the side. In addition, AMiK owns all the jokes aired on Channel One. And to mention the three-letter abbreviation - " KVN"- also impossible. It remains to wait until there is also a brand “ Humor »…

- They are well brainwashed there … - this is how their more practical general sponsor explained the altruism of one team. - I am personally surprised that adults believe that miracles happen! People believe that the funniest team can win. There are no miracles, there are connections and money and sometimes talent … But talent is rare.

A simple conclusion suggests itself: if First channel one fine day will be seriously interested in another project, then the KVN empire in the form in which it now exists, can order to live a long time?