Why modern children don’t like to learn, don’t know how to endure and hardly bear boredom

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

A very cool article on parenting and overcoming major parenting / learning challenges. Both the main problems and the ways to solve them are spelled out, which is much more important. And I completely agree with the author.

I am an occupational therapist with many years of experience working with children, parents and teachers. I believe that our children are getting worse in many ways.

I hear the same thing from every teacher I meet. As a professional therapist, I see a decline in social, emotional and academic activity in today's children, and at the same time, a sharp increase in the number of children with learning disabilities and other disabilities.

As we know, our brains are malleable. Thanks to the environment, we can make our brains "stronger" or "weaker". I truly believe that despite all our best intentions, we are sadly developing our children's brains in the wrong direction.

And that's why:

1. Children get everything they want, when they want

"I am hungry!" "In a second, I'll buy something to eat." "I'm thirsty". “Here's a drinks machine.” "I'm bored!" - "Take my phone."

The ability to delay meeting your needs is one of the key factors for future success. We want to make our children happy, but unfortunately we only make them happy in the present moment and unhappy in the long run.

The ability to postpone the satisfaction of your needs means the ability to function under stress.

Our children gradually become less prepared to deal with even minor stressful situations, which ultimately becomes a huge obstacle to their success in life.

We often see children’s inability to delay gratification in classrooms, malls, restaurants, and toy stores when the child hears “No,” because his parents taught his brain to immediately get whatever it wants.

2. Limited social interaction

We have a lot to do, so we give our kids gadgets to keep them busy too. Previously, children played outside, where they developed their social skills under extreme conditions. Unfortunately, gadgets have replaced outdoor walks for children. In addition, technology has made parents less accessible to interact with their children.

A telephone that "sits" with a child instead of us will not teach him how to communicate. Most successful people have developed social skills. This is the priority!

The brain is like muscles that learn and train. If you want your child to be able to ride a bike, you teach him to ride. If you want your child to be able to wait, you need to teach him patience. If you want your child to be able to communicate, you need to socialize him. The same applies to all other skills. There is no difference!

3. Endless fun

We have created an artificial world for our children. There is no boredom in it. As soon as the child calms down, we run to entertain him again, because otherwise it seems to us that we are not doing our parental duty.

We live in two different worlds: they are in their own “world of fun”, and we are in another, “world of work”.

Why aren't children helping us in the kitchen or laundry? Why don't they put their toys away?

It's simple, repetitive work that trains the brain to function while doing boring tasks. This is the same "muscle" that is required for schooling.

When the children come to school and it’s time to write, they reply: “I cannot, this is too difficult, too boring.” Why? Because a workable "muscle" doesn't train with endless fun. She only trains while working.

4. Technology

Gadgets have become free nannies for our children, but this help has to be paid for. We pay with the nervous system of our children, their attention and the ability to postpone the satisfaction of their desires.

Everyday life is boring compared to virtual reality.

When children come to class, they are confronted with human voices and adequate visual stimulation, as opposed to the graphic explosions and special effects they are used to seeing on screens.

After hours of virtual reality, children find it increasingly difficult to process information in the classroom because they are used to the high levels of stimulation that video games provide. Children are unable to process information with a lower level of stimulation, and this negatively affects their ability to solve academic problems.

Technology also alienates us emotionally from our children and our families. Emotional availability of parents is a primary nutrient for a child's brain. Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving our children of this.

5. Children rule the world

"My son doesn't like vegetables." "She doesn't like going to bed early." "He doesn't like breakfast." "She doesn't like toys, but she's good with the tablet." "He doesn't want to dress himself." "She's too lazy to eat herself."

This is what I hear from my parents all the time. Since when have children dictated to us how to educate them? If you leave it to them, all they will do is eat macaroni and cheese and cakes, watch TV, play on the tablet, and never go to bed.

How do we help our children if we give them what they want and not what is good for them? Without proper nutrition and adequate nighttime sleep, our children come to school irritated, anxious and inattentive. Also, we are sending them the wrong message.

They learn that they can do whatever they want and not do what they don’t want to do. They have no concept - "must be done."

Unfortunately, in order to achieve our goals in life, we often need to do what is necessary, not what we want.

If a child wants to become a student, he needs to study. If he wants to be a football player, he has to train every day.

Our children know what they want, but it is hard for them to do what is necessary to achieve this goal. This leads to unattainable goals and leaves children frustrated.

Train their brain

You can train your child's brain and change their life so that they can be successful socially, emotionally and academically.

Here's how:

1. Don't be afraid to set frames

Children need them to grow up to be happy and healthy.

- Schedule meals, sleep times, and gadgets.

- Think about what is good for the children, not what they want or don’t want. They will thank you later for that.

- Parenting is hard work. You have to be creative to get them to do what is good for them, although most of the time it will be the exact opposite of what they want.

- Children need breakfast and nutritious food. They need to walk outside and go to bed on time so they can come to school the next day ready to learn.

- Turn what they don't like doing into fun, emotionally stimulating play.

2. Limit access to gadgets and restore emotional closeness with children

- Give them flowers, smile, tickle them, put a note in a backpack or under a pillow, surprise by pulling them out of school for lunch, dance together, crawl together, beat on the pillows.

- Have family dinners, play board games, go cycling together, and walk with a flashlight in the evening.

3. Teach them to wait

- To be bored is normal, this is the first step to creativity.

- Gradually increase the waiting time between "I want" and "I get."

- Avoid using gadgets in the car and restaurants, and teach children to wait while chatting or playing.

- Limit constant snacking.

4. Teach your child to do monotonous work from an early age as this is the foundation for future performance

- Folding clothes, putting away toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, making the bed.

- Be creative. Make these responsibilities fun so your brain associates them with something positive.

5. Teach them social skills

Learn to share, be able to lose and win, praise others, say "thank you" and "please."

Based on my experience as a therapist, I can say that children change at the moment when parents change their approaches to parenting. Help your kids succeed in life by educating and exercising their brains before it's too late.