Stay in "girls": what awaited unmarried women in Russia

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

In the old days in Russia life was not only difficult, but also very harsh, especially for women. This can be judged by many works of art and historical facts. Naturally, the representatives of the aristocracy were less concerned than the commoners. The peasant girls lived much worse.

As it turns out, it didn't take much to compromise oneself, become an outcast.

1. Stay in the "girls"

The prospect of being a spinster did not please anyone. The life of a girl, and then a woman, who for one reason or another did not marry, became a real hell. The women stayed in the parental home, and the parents were mostly not happy about this. When the parents were dying, the woman went as a "living room" to the house of her older brother.

All the hard work awaited her there, for which no one ever even said "thank you".

As for their contemporaries who got married, they did not accept old maidens into their circle, and they could not find a common language with younger unmarried girls either. As a result, they remained practically isolated from society: general holidays, festivities, feasts were prohibited for them.

And the attitude of society as a whole was cruel and merciless towards them. Old maidens were awarded offensive and evil nicknames, moreover, in each of the provinces it had its own: gray heads, unstoppable hair, centuries, and that's not all.

Sometimes the prohibitions were simply absurd. For example, women could not work with livestock. It was believed that they could cause stillborn calves or livestock deaths. They were also forbidden to talk to women who carried a child under their hearts.

Outwardly, the old maidens also differed from the married ones. They did not have the right to put on the clothes that were mainly worn by married people: warriors, scarves, neva, kokoshniks, kerchiefs. But they could not dress up in bright clothes either. As a result, the woman had an incomprehensible appearance.

In a word, an old girl. Rumors also spread. They said that the ages deliberately spoil the harvest and are close to Satan. But married women, too, had to always be on their guard. Although their position was better, it was rather precarious.

2. "Going wild" is like

Every girl on her wedding day was required to cover her head with a scarf, which showed her new status. From that moment on, she could not walk with her head uncovered, without a headdress - a kokoshnik, a kerchief, a scarf. If suddenly a woman appeared in public without a headscarf, she was immediately subjected to public disapproval.

In the eyes of the villagers, she was almost a criminal. Hence the word "goofy" came from. By the way, the rule did not work in the direction of the woman herself, but of the person who tore the headdress off her head.

In the North of Russia, there was another rite, which was also associated with covering the head. Young girls, whose behavior before the wedding was too free, could simply be ordered to unbraid the braid, and put a warrior on their heads. Naturally, there was no ceremonial head covering, as it happened at a wedding, in this case. Well, since the braid was unraveling and the girl put on the warrior on her own, she was given a contemptuous and very offensive nickname - "hand-rolled".

If you look at it from the point of view of our time, then the girl's misdeeds and liberties were absolutely harmless.

3. Dreaming

Often, the victims of society were those who had a chance to experience a lot of troubles. Dreaming is another despised custom that existed in tsarist Russia. The bottom line is simple. Choosing a bride for his son, the father, first of all, looked for her for himself. That is, the husband almost immediately after the wedding feast left for the city to work, and the young wife (daughter-in-law) remained with her father-in-law.

The girl, based on her position in society, could not refuse to live with her father-in-law in principle. She just didn't get that chance. This custom was widespread almost before the revolution. Well, if outsiders found out about this connection, both the father-in-law and the daughter-in-law were covered with shame, which was no longer possible to wash off.

4. Adultery and petty theft

As for actual misconduct, the most common punishments were infidelity and theft.

Infidelity in marriage has always existed. In the old days, this phenomenon was also observed. The punishment for a wife who cheated on her husband was mandatory and varied. For God and people to forgive them, sometimes they could crawl around the church on all fours all day.

Cruelty bordered on sadism. There are cases described how a woman convicted of treason was pulled the hem of a dress over her head and tied to the slowly rotating blade of a mill. We could have acted even tougher. With the hem of her dress pulled over her head, the woman was tied at night to a cross on the grave.

Girls who did not marry virgins were also punished. It is worth noting that in Russia, and among other peoples, a sheet in blood was shown to society after the wedding night. If there was nothing to show, the girl was covered in shame. The punishments were different. One of them consisted in the fact that after the wedding ceremony, they put clamps on both the girl and her mother after the wedding, and so they walked around the yard.

Sometimes the father of such a bride was given a cup at the festival, in the bottom of which there was a hole. Such an act symbolized that his daughter was dishonorable, and he was disgraced. Theft was also a serious crime. Women for petty theft could be beaten and their hair completely shaved off.