How women destroy masculinity in men

2024 Author: Seth Attwood | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 15:55

There is one problem in family life that is not accepted to talk about. Many women complain that men have become less masculine over the years. That he is not interested in anything, that he drinks and lies on the couch. Women even forget that once they themselves chose and fell in love with him. For something. And for what - you can't even remember. Because this "something" suddenly disappeared somewhere … Or maybe not all of a sudden?

Do I need to tame him?

When we meet a man, when we are in the moment of the beginning of a relationship, we are very attracted by his masculine strength, masculine energy. We are proud if he rides a motorcycle fearlessly. We are inspired by his victories in fist fights. We enthusiastically tell our friends about how he travels to races in another city, to competitions, takes first places. And even if there are no such obvious manifestations of power, we are proud of others.

We like it when a man caring for us rigidly defines his position - you don't go there, period. There may even be a slight riot inside, but from such a blow with a fist on the table everything calms down inside. Protected. He's strong. He is a real man.

We often expect this in family life - that he will take responsibility, bang his fist, make his own decision, calm the agitated mind. We dream of a strong shoulder, forgetting that in this case we need to give up a lot in our behavior.

A real man is, in a sense, very close to nature. He is just as indestructible, unbridled, wild. And dangerous. It is dangerous to disturb such a volcano once again, warm it up, provoke, cut, suppress …

When a man gets married, his world changes dramatically. I know many men whom the wedding changed dramatically.

One of my acquaintances, at the behest of his wife - out of love for her - broke off relations with all his friends. There were only a couple of "acceptable" options left - with which you could only drink beer at the dacha on weekends. At the same moment, his passion disappeared from his life - hiking, mountaineering, mountains. It was too dangerous for the father of the family. Therefore, all the equipment was distributed to friends and acquaintances.

Ultimatums were set harshly: "Either I, or that," then there were arguments that he needed to grow up, that he should think about the family. And out of love for his wife, he agreed. He did not want to leave her a widow, did not want to see her tears and worries. He loved her - and made a choice. Hard choise.

He became a homely, caring father. At the same time, deeply unhappy inside. This was noticeable to many. He tried to realize his male part in raising his son - to temper him, to play sports with him. But even that was forbidden by his wife. It's too small.

After a few years, she herself went to another. To the crazy stuntman who was driving his motorcycle around the city at night. She talked about the disappeared passion, about how much he had changed, that he was not worried or interested in anything.

But who made him that way? Who forbade him to be a man in this family? Who, by blackmail, took away from him everything that helped him to be a man?

Now he has recovered - and is again the same as before. He still conquers the peaks, descends on a snowboard where no man's foot has stepped. He is full of energy, his eyes glow again. Women like him again. But now for him the family is something terrible. Something that can take away his strength and masculinity again.

This is often the case. After the wedding, a woman tries to domesticate a man. For your convenience. In order not to worry where he is and how. In order not to become a widow. And so that he is less attractive to other women. The more tame he is, the less interesting he is to others.

Men agree to this. Because they saw no other examples - many of them were raised only by their mothers. Others grew up with a similarly domesticated dad, stripped of his power. They don't understand the price they are paying for this and they just call it "settling down." And also because they love us and want to see us happy.

But the soul remembers and knows everything. And yearns for its former strength. A man like a lion locked in a cage will never become a house cat. He can become just a humiliated and trained lion. Have you ever seen such lion eyes in a zoo or circus? The same thing happens in men's hearts. Hearts that are devoid of their strength.

Is it not by chance that in middle age, almost every man tries to throw off this burden and go all out? Buy a racing car, leave your wife, do something extreme? And if this is impossible, then at least hit the computer games, and become a hero there …

In Europe, the most common Ferrari-type race cars are driven by grandfathers. And they also press the gas pedal with great pleasure. Remembering that they are still men. They are still strong and dangerous.

It turns out that we want to marry a superman who won us over with feats and courage. And it’s more convenient for us to live - I emphasize this word “more convenient” -with a home bum who does something boring and safe, washes the dishes, the floor, and is not interesting to anyone. Even to ourselves. For convenience you have to pay with respect and your own happiness …

Both need masculine strength

No matter how hard women resist, they secretly dream that the husband will be the same again as before. Unbridled, strong, wild, dangerous. So that when he came home suddenly, he hugged her so that it took her breath away. So that at the moment of a quarrel, when he is carrying it, he decisively said his "no" and again - with his fist on the table. So that his eyes burn with the fire of strength and passion.

The only difficulty is that next to such a man you need to become different. He cannot be teased and provoked, add fuel to the fire when he is angry.

Recently I heard a story about how, during a family quarrel, a husband broke his wife's laptop in half. This is one of the manifestations of masculine strength - you need to be very careful with it. A computer is better than anything else.

Imagine that you are a production chemist. You must know exactly what you can mix with what, and what - in no case. Otherwise, it threatens with problems. You take each jar carefully and think over - what will happen next? You have some instructions on how to handle the jars, how to store them, how to move them.

You need to do the same with a man. The only problem is that we do not have this instruction. And we set up experiments. One was blown up. The other was melted. Here we were crippled. And all would be fine if we remembered which actions lead to such results.

For example, a man doesn't need to be angry when he's out of sorts. Many people know about it. Who does that? What is trying to pacify the dear one first and bring him into good disposition, and only then solve problems?

Most often, an irritated man gets nourishment right there by his wife's reproaches, her resentment, and anger. And there is an explosion. His strength fluctuates depending on the man himself and how much fuel his wife has added to the fire. But destruction and sacrifice are always there.

Or a man, inspired by something, does not need to be distracted and disturbed. Finally he sat down with pleasure to nail down - step back. Because advice “not there” and “not so” will not only drive him out of himself, but will also lead to the fact that he will not hammer a single nail again.

Are men dangerous?

Men are really dangerous. But when women try to tame and neutralize them, they put a pig on themselves. To herself. Because they no longer want children from a home mattress. For his sake, you don't want to cook or be beautiful. It evokes rather pity and contempt. It is also impossible to respect him.

When a man has masculine strength, it is not easy for a woman. She needs to learn how to treat her husband properly so that it is safe. She needs to worry about him more often. And learn to trust him completely. And also to understand that such a man is very attractive to other women. Therefore, one must always remain for himself. The most beautiful, the most loving, the most tender, the most unpredictable.

It's a different choice and a different life. Stop controlling him. Stop checking his phones and don't make him show up on time. Do not tell him with whom to communicate and what to do. Don't judge his hobbies by their danger. To revive his passion for life over and over again.

Yes, let him decide to start triathlon. My husband is going to participate in IronMan next year. It sounds creepy to me - running, swimming and not cycling all day. It takes a lot of strength, endurance, time. He will need to train, buy equipment, participate in marathons. And I will have to come to terms with his absence, employment, physical fatigue.

But this is nonsense compared to the way his eyes shine when he says and does something. When he runs ten kilometers or swims a kilometer and a half. This makes him stronger - not only physically, but also mentally.

Some of the men dream of a motorcycle. My husband is one of them. And I prepare mentally for the fact that one day this will happen. I'll have to worry about him sometimes. And trust more. I know a girl who was very afraid, but agreed to buy a motorcycle for her husband. With our movement and respect on the roads, this is a very extreme purchase. But several years passed, and the husband from an employee turned into a successful businessman. He takes his wife by car. And he still saddles his iron horse every evening. And although they have been married for more than ten years, she recently admitted that the passion did not subside and did not disappear. With the motorcycle, this passion has grown.

Hobbies in mountain skiing, racing, mountaineering, sports, business trips, exploits, dangerous travel, extreme activities, communication with other men and much more, from which we want to protect men, actually give them strength. The strength to remain a man next to us. Strength to take responsibility. The power of asceticism and endurance. Real masculine strength. That we value so much and we miss so much.

And finally, I want to share with you a quote from the book by John Eldridge "Unbridled Heart". Which inspired me to write this article.

Yes, men are really dangerous. But the scalpel is also dangerous. He can hurt, or he can save your life. You are not trying to make it safe by blunting it; you put it in the hand of someone who knows how to handle it.

If you've ever watched horses, you know that stallions can be a problem. They are strong, very strong, and they are on their own mind. Stallions usually dislike bridles and can be very aggressive - especially if mares are around. The stallion is difficult to tame.

If you want to have a calmer, less dangerous animal, there is a simple solution: it must be neutered. The gelding is much more accommodating. You can literally lead him by the nose; he will do what you tell him to do without expressing any protest. With him you will have only one problem: the gelding is not able to give life. He cannot do what a stallion can. Yes, the stallion is a dangerous animal, but if you want the life it can give, you have to accept that it is dangerous. One cannot exist without the other …"

Appreciate men for their masculine strength. And help them become stronger and more courageous. There is nothing wrong with the fact that he does not wash the dishes at home. Buy a dishwasher - or learn to love the process. Let him do men's affairs that no one can do without him. Deeds that fill him with strength and energy.